Instructions

Something I got recently in an E-Mail. Gave me a few laughs.

  1. On Sears hairdryer:
    “Do not use while sleeping.”

  2. On a bag of Fritos:
    “You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.”

  3. On a bar of Dial soap:
    “Directions: Use like regular soap.”

  4. On some Swanson frozen dinners:
    “Serving suggestions: Defrost.”

  5. On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box):
    “Do not turn upside down.”

  6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
    “Product will be hot after heating.”

  7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
    “Do not iron clothes on body.”

  8. On Boot’s Children’s Cough Medicine:
    “Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this
    medication.”

  9. On Nytol Sleep Aid:
    “Warning: May cause drowsiness.”

  10. On most brands of Christmas lights:
    “For indoor or outdoor use only.”

  11. On a Japanese food processor:
    “Not to be used for the other use.”

  12. On Sainsbury’s peanuts:
    “Warning: Contains nuts.”

  13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
    “Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.”

  14. On a child’s Superman costume:
    “Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.”

  15. On a Swedish chain saw:
    “Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.”

  16. On a bottle of Palmolive Dishwashing liquid:
    “Do not use on food.”

  17. On a tube of Crest Toothpaste:
    “If swallowed contact poison control.”

  18. On a bottle of ALL laundry detergent:
    “Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine.”

My personal favorite was on a windshield screen (you know those fold out cardboard screens that cover your windshield on the inside so your car doesn’t get really hot during the summer?) On the side was the warning : do not operate car with shield in place.

Ok. but just 'cause you told me not to.