-Arcane Jill
As seen on my packet of airline peanuts:
ACME brand peanuts
[sub]Contents: Peanuts, salt, etc.[/sub]
[sub]Warning: Contains peanuts.[/sub]
Lordy. I know that some people are allergic, but if you’re allergic but haven’t figured out that you’re about to eat some peanuts after reading the first two lines, then we just have to chalk this up to natural selection at work.
I keep wondering if the great unwashed masses are that stupid, or if the government has that little faith in us.
Probably the latter.
Speaking of things coming out of microwaves hot. . .
A lable on a cup of McDonald’s coffee today nearly saved my life. “Warning. This beverage is served hot.”
I know, I was shocked when I read it as well. I can’t believe McDonald’s staff would have the unqualified temerity to serve their coffee hot.
I guess the story on the coffee warning dates back a couple years when a gal ordered coffee in the drive-through, put it in her lap and spilled it. For her stupidity she was not mocked and ridiculed as she should have been, but instead awarded something like 15 million dollars.
Survival of the fittest, yeah right.
[aside]The reason she got a settlement was because the coffee was far hotter than the industry standard, the particular McDonald’s had been warned previously to fix the problem and the coffee was hot enough to cause burns severe enough to require skin grafts. It wasn’t really a frivolous lawsuit.[/aside]
My favorite warning: Do not iron clothes while wearing them.
So you’ve read the side of a pack of toothpicks, have you?
I had you in mind. 
This one’s not quite a warning, more of an instruction, but DDG’s “lift here to open” comments reminded me of it: any food packaging that contains a command to “serve and enjoy!”
It drives my mom nuts-- “I’ll enjoy it if I f*cking well feel like it!”
[hijack]
the way the thread’s been going, I should’ve expected it to say “Share and enjoy!”
[/byejack]
WEll…back in October, I was at my professor’s house for lunch, and they had little tea lights on their table.
One started to flame up too high, so Dr. Brett and his wife brought the stand and the candles into the kitchen-put them into the sink and turned on the water.
I was standing with my back to the sink, and wasn’t really paying attention, as I was talking to Mrs. Brown, another faculty member. Then, all of a sudden, I felt this enormous heat on my back, a bright light behind me, and this WHOOOSH!
I SHOT across the kitchen, almost toppling Mrs. Brown. One of the other students said he thought my back was on fire, that’s how fast I ran. Mrs. Brown felt my back and hair to make sure I wasn’t on fire or burnt. (I wasn’t…it was just SCARY).
There was a lable on the box of tea lights-do not extinguish with water.
Hehehe…we still tease Dr. Brett about it!
Best one I ever heard" WARNING"-DO NOT ATTEMPT TO REMOVE FAN BELT WHILE ENGINE IS RUNNING"-from a 1978 Audi owner’s manual!
In a word? Yes. You wouldn’t believe some of the weird stories I heard when I took products liability last semester. The candle company is probably trying to save itself from legal trouble down the road.
I found a list of Dumb Warnings for a variety of products. Many of them are strange, but at the same time I can see how almost all of them might result in a lawsuit.
Although I have to admit that I love the hairdryer warning that says “do not use while taking a shower.”
After rereading the OP, I realized that they wrote this warning for my dad.
We had candles on the table last week for Thanksgiving, and after dinner he decided to put them out with a paper napkin. My mom had to stop him and tell him to wet the napkin first so it wouldn’t burst into flames. :rolleyes:
This is the same man who holds his face just inches away from the propane grill when he lights it. The same man who used to be a volunteer firefighter.
Thank God I inherited mom’s intelligence. 
This is what all of you nancy-boy omniphobes get for insisting that the gene pool be dechlorinated!
The part about “Do not burn while unattended” always gives me this mental image of Candle Users sitting around their candle, attending to it and intensely enjoying the experience. God forbid we stop paying attention to the candle while it’s burning - how would we then enjoy it?
I came across one a while back for an ice cream bar that read (paraphrasing as best I can recall): “This product may be extremely cold. Allow to warm slightly before eating to prevent sticking to lips and tongue.”
It was upon reading that that I lost the last shred of my faith in humanity.
You are quite right, and the lady was very badly burned. But putting a styrofoam cup of hot coffee in one’s lap, particularly in a moving car, is nonetheless the act of a half-wit. In light of that fact, the initial huge jury award was very much reduced by the judge.
Your’re asking are the teeming masses that stupid?? Has YOUR vote counted yet, since we are ALL [okay, maybe some of us ARE sleeping!!] waiting to find out who is president because of the nonsense going on in Florida???
Everytime one of my kids shows me an ‘idiotic’ sounding warning, I always say, ‘it’s there because SOMEONE somewhere figured out how to do it wrong first and the company is covering up its heiney!’
But anyway…
it bugs me when I find a packet of silica gel in my new clothes or shoes, saying DO NOT EAT. Why the hell would I eat those? They’re tiny, don’t look very tasty…I don’t know, it just annoys me I guess.
Oh yeah, gotta love those commercials with a flying super hero, only to have a voice say, “So-and-so does not actually fly.” Talk about ruining a kid’s dreams.
I got a plastic travel mug a few years back. The mug was empty when I bought it. Across the top is stamped “CAUTION! Contents may be very hot!” Uhhh, yeah, or the contents may be very cold, or the contents may be a couple of furry gerbils. If it was empty when I got it, wouldn’t I presumably be the only supplying the contents, and wouldn’t I then know whether or not they are “very hot”?