I couldn’t be friends with a 9/11 Truther, because that has a tendency to take over every conversation. My parents have a friend who has veered in this direction, which has brought out ugly anti-Semitic stuff underneath and ruined their friendship.
I wouldn’t be able to be friends with a Holocaust denier or believer in other anti-Semitic conspiracy theories, in general. But they wouldn’t want to be friends with me, either, so that’s unlikely to be a problem.
Conversely, I wouldn’t be able to be close friends with ultra-Orthodox Jews, given what they would believe about me and my existence. (“A second Holocaust” is how one once described me and my ilk – half-Jewish people).
I’ve been shocked what some people I know have said about gypsies/Roma. I would struggle to be friends with them.
If I met a person under 35 who was strongly anti-gay, I would probably not become friends with them. If I only discovered that they were anti-gay after becoming friends, I might wind up ruining the friendship by trying to change their mind somehow.
well that is the issue is it not? Not to mention that I am pretty sure it’s forbidden across the board, Muslims, Christians and Jews ought not being going there. Although some people really seem to dig goats.
…and an awful lot of blood and guts. This will be one of those movies where no one is left behind, isn’t it?
About stepping up and telling people that what they are saying is wrong. Saying it like that is just asking for trouble. But I have no problem saying that I won’t stay around to listen to it.
One of the women who used to work here used to make really nasty jokes about people. Other coworkers. Like, she clearly sucked everybody’s dick to get here, or so-and-so gladly bent over for her boss, etc.
I think part of being a feminist and a woman is sticking together and helping our sisters is not saying nasty stuff like that, and not repeating it. Not even if it is true. I hate gossip to start with.
So I said something. I simply said, “I don’t like that kind of talk, and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t engage in it around me.” After that, every time she started, I’d leave the conversation. I never made a big deal about it, I just politely excused myself.
One time she started saying something and then stopped herself, saying “Mika doesn’t like this sort of talk…”, like it was a big joke. Other than that it slowly petered out and I didn’t have to hear it anymore.
I can’t change people’s minds. All I can do is change how I react to it.
I think, obviously, that someone holding particularly vile opinions would be hard to be friends with. I could not see myself being friends with a Nazi.
However, the description of the events noted in the OP do not suggest to me that the problem was Annie’s OPINIONS. The problem was her behaviour. Her opinion about hunting was not so much the problem as her exceptional rudeness. If you disagree with your host on a matter like that, what you do is you shut your goddamn yap and talk about something else. If you find yourself simply unable to eat the venison, say you aren’t hungry, or venison gives you hives, or some other white lie excuse. Annie could have held her opinion without insulting Skald’s wife.
I am quite certain that many people, even those who boast mightily on Facebook about how they have no friends who hold opinion X, in fact have many friends who hold opinion X. I am confident some of my friends hold opinions I would find grotesque. I am sure some of them would find some of my opinions vile. (Being a member of the artistic community in Toronto, you learn very quickly to not express any political opinion inconsistent with the far left wing.) However, I am a gentleman, as all my friends are ladies and gentlemen, and neither they nor I would think to barge into someone’s home insulting their opinions, lifestyle and personal choices.
I have a customer whose workforce is almost entirely Mennonite, including all the owners. I find their religion preposterous (I find all religions preposterous but a fundamentalist one especially so) and they are, I am sure, convinced I am hell-bound. And yet we seem to find each other’s company delightful, because we’re civilized, decent people who don’t go around shouting opinions in each others’ faces.
I was chatting with a guy who talked for around two hours about race, he was a very committed and articulate racist. He was also polite, well-mannered, and without any ranting or impoliteness put forth a very convincing argument. I could never be friends with him but can understand if friends of mine hold the same views, but know speaking with me that way would mean the end of our friendship, and so don’t mention it. Several friends have lived in different parts of Africa (not just the south) and have subtly alluded to opinions - which I only picked up on as we are/were very close friends - that you can’t express in polite company. I’m okay with that as I haven’t lived there.
A couple of friends have been homophobic, for one reason or another. If the conversation turned that way I’d quickly move on to another subject. Again I haven’t lived their life, so as long as they got the hint and moved on I tolerated them, as they were good company otherwise (they had to be pretty fucking good company).
If anyone includes in a conversation “It’s the Joos that … blah blah blah” I’ll probably just leave them to their paranoia, and hopefully not cross paths again. The same goes for the crazier of other conspiracy theorists.
I dated a woman for a while who was into star signs in a big way, it didn’t really bother me at all as I see it as a harmless pursuit. Unless the stars tell her to go out and kill all Pisceans then how is she hurting me? The same goes for people who think Thor is #1, I know The Batman is, but each to their own.
Put in milk before the teabag? Seriously, I need some alone time.
Or more likely, we just don’t talk politics. I never talk politics with my friends. I accidentally said something the other day and I got back “That’s capitalism! There’s haves and have-nots! If people don’t like it then they can just go somewhere with Communism!” :rolleyes:
Because, you know, those are the only choices we have. And of course it was a “have” speaking about a (relatively) “have-not”.
Yes. I love your comment: It doesn’t matter what you ride, only that you ride. I rode my first motorcycle when I was 15, in India, and I have been in love ever since.
Well, obviously, but I was looking at things from Annie’s POV. She was the one who said she couldn’t be friend with a hunter (in contrast to the two actual vegetarians who were willing to shrug it off). I don’t think my wife knew Annie’s anti-hunting feelings before that night, and I know she didn’t care until Annie made her remark.
I have thought about making a thread like this in the past, but worded the opposite way. What characteristic or action would indicate that they cannot be your friend.
I was once hanging out with an acquaintance. We had spent some time together on multiple occasions. He seemed a decent fellow… and then he threw his empty beer bottle in a bush in a restaurant’s parking lot.
Littering. That does it for me.
Looking around outside provides much evidence that many people consider this not a big deal, but I see it as a important insight into a person’s worldview.
It basically says, “My convience is more important than everyone elses, so F all of y’all. I’m throwing my trash down right here for someone less worthy to have to pick up.”
Today it may only be litter, but I can see that other people are not very important to you. You are too busy looking out for number one.
Life is too short to spend it with people that think like that. See ya.
Oh, littering. I wish I was a huuuuuuge angry looking mofo so I could kick the crap out of people who litter. I came home the other day to find someone’s drink bottle discarded right in my drive. Assholes. Every other day it’s something. I gotta pick that up and throw it out.
Drunks are the worst, IMO. Just throw their stupid beer bottles on the ground anywhere, breaking them, not caring that kids run around here, bikes ride here. It’s another reason why I despise public drunkenness.
If a person likes the novel The Celestine Prophecy, they’re fucked.
If I’m visiting someone, and their radio is playing, and the god-damned mother-fucking pig-shit-sucking “k-a-r-s kars-for-kids” commercial comes on, and I take a sledgehammer or axe and smash their radio, and they object instead of thanking me, they too are fucked.