Carol is the receptionist at an office I visit on a regular basis. She’s always very friendly towards me. She seems like a nice person, and I always look forward to seeing her when I drop by.
But I recently learned from a friend that Carol is a staunch Trump supporter. Like, the kind of Trump supporter you see represented on The Daily Show, spouting WTF-level craziness. This information blew my mind.
I don’t plan on being any less polite towards her going forward. But she’s no longer the same person to me.
If she was a supporter of any other mainstream Republican, it would be different. I am pretty partisan, but I still know people can be decent and still have politics that differ from mine.
But it seems to me that a someone who is voting for Trump doesn’t just have a slightly different political view from me. Their whole mindset and moral core is different from mine. It’s not that they are in favor of ideas that I find questionable or insensitive. It’s that they want things that are flat-out dangerous to me and people who look like me.
So I’m kind of curious, fellow libruls. If you had a friend who revealed to you he was a big fan of Trump and planned to vote for him in November, would you break up with him? If not, at what point do you think you would you break up with someone over their politics?
I agree with you. Trump is not just a little different from me politically. I don’t mind if someone says they agree with some things he says or whatever, but if someone can’t recognize that he is out of touch with reality, then I think I’d be done with them.
She doesn’t really seem like a friend, more of a work acquaintance. Plus, how do you know she is a Trump supporter? Were you talking about her behind her back?
Why don’t you just ask her? Maybe see why she is a Trump supporter, or even just find out if she REALLY is a Trump supporter?
I work and live with many trump supporters as well (because it’s an overwhelmingly white area). I know exactly what you mean, here you have this perfectly nice person that morphs into this grotesque barking robot of thinly veiled racism,misconceptions and conspiracy theories… It’s sad, scary and outrageous at the same time… Can’t wait for this election to be over - definitely voting
What I do is strictly avoid all talk about politics by strongly changing topics or walking away - many get the point
My friend works in that office. We were talking about people we know are Trump supporters and that’s when she told me about Carol. It’s not like we were trading gossip. She just relayed a fact to me. And I told her about two of my coworkers who are Trumpites. It’s not like these people keep their views quiet. They want us to know.
And I never said Carol was my friend. The whole thing just got me thinking about what I’d do if she was one.
Why would I do this when I don’t plan on changing my interactions with her? Her politics are none of my business, and she’s not obligated to feed my curiosity.
Well that was my point, so I guess you agree. And also, I’ve misinterpreted this OP I guess.
I have friends who are staunch Republicans but when asked about Trump, they all, without question, deflect to how bad Clinton is. When pressed, they say they don’t want the same type of “politics” that have been played for the last 200 years I guess.
When really, REALLY pressed, they are scared of losing their guns if a Democrat is elected (no debate here, just what they tell me). Or they are middle to lower class white people who think that a billionaire will care about them. When this dichotomy is pointed out, they usually say “I want some change”
But, they are good people who haven’t said “I hate immigrants” or “I hate the blacks” or anything. But I don’t hang out with them anymore because they can’t explain their feelings of “I want change” with any concrete items.
I’ve got several friends like that. We just politely agree to disagree. When the issue comes up in conversation, we change the subject.
I have some ex-friends who weren’t able to make that agreement. They weren’t willing to change the subject, and wouldn’t stop their harangues. That made continued friendship impossible.
One of my very best friends is an anarchist (seriously!) and also a Trump supporter. I don’t see how that makes a microgram of sense, but those are his beliefs. We get along by talking about other matters entirely.
Trinopus, do you think you could remain friends with that guy if he was a racist too? Let’s say he didn’t spout his racist beliefs around you, but you knew he was a dues-paying member of the KKK.
If you could still remain friends with him, is there anything you could think of that would be a deal-breaker?
I’m glad to be able to admit this to someone. I’m ashamed to tell my friends and family. A bunch of internet strangers is perfect. My boyfriend is a Trump supporter. We don’t talk politics.
I didn’t think he was WTF-level crazy, but he recently told me that if I vote for Hillary, he’s going to move out.
A lot of facebook friends and family of mine are Republicans. Compared to 2008 and 2012 when they were very vocal and posted a lot of support for McCain and Romney they are strangely quiet this year. I don’t know if they’re voting Trump or not but if they are they aren’t telling the world. Almost like they’re embarassed by it.
I did have a great aunt and a friend’s mother who posted a lot of Trump stuff earlier this year but something must have caused them to rethink it since they’ve both clamed up over the summer.
I was friends with an old boss of mine and an ex-girlfriend who DO post tons of pro-Trump crap. It did solidify my image of both of them as a couple of nut bags and it made unfriending them a lot easier.
I could remain friends with a racist – I do and have. I would have trouble with a KKK member, because they go out and commit acts against others. Someone who merely passively believed in bad things is tolerable to me, but someone who acts on those beliefs would be a problem.
I had to stop being a pen-pal with a neo-Nazi. He wouldn’t stop sending me hateful literature. I was willing to be a pen-pal with him, so long as some subjects were taboo, but, again, he wouldn’t “agree to disagree,” and that’s fatal.
This. Exactly this. I’m in a social club with a number of really great guys, who in all other aspects are awesome, caring, giving family guys. But they lose their mind when it comes to ‘Hitlery’ as they call her and can’t wait to vote for Trump. And this is EXACTLY the pattern that shows up every time I used to try and engage them (a thing of the past, thankfully)
They are all lower to lower middle class white guys, skilled trades but none of that fancy college learnin’. All big fans of Breitbart and that ilk. A few even affiliated with the State of Jefferson movement (some of those guys go from ‘weirdo’ to ‘scary militia type’ real quick…) But in person all great guys. Until politics comes up and they lose their freakin’ minds. Every. Damn. Time.
My neighbor has a hand painted (and not in a good way) message on the back of his van, “Proud to be deplorable” (or something like that, I been drinkin’).
He’s a nice guy, good neighbor and just about my only friend left. But he’s not real sharp, not a lot of education in his past, and I seriously don’t think the knows the meaning of the word “deplorable”.
But, Hey! I gotta have some friend. If only I can convince him to stop drinking Coors Light. :smack:
We don’t talk politics because it almost always winds up with one of us shouting. Usually him. We mostly get along otherwise, and it’s just not worth the argument. He’s a very vocal Republican. I’m a Democrat. He actually listens to Rush Limbaugh every morning, and just the sound of that man’s voice sets my teeth on edge. When Limbaugh is done, he listens to Sean Hannity.
He’s a Trump supporter because, “Hillary’s a liar,” and “E-mail!!” and “Benghazi!!” He believes Trump can stop ISIS. (I’m terrified of that lunatic having any access to nuclear weapons.:eek:)
He finally admitted that Trump won’t be able to build the wall within a year, but still believes the wall will be built. And that it’s a good idea. He wants to ban Muslims from entering the country - “at least for a while.”
That’s about the gist of it. I can only listen to it for so long, and then I get pretty vocal, myself. I have a better grasp of sarcasm and if my end goal is to make him shut the fuck up, I can do it pretty quickly. I’m not overly proud of it, but it keeps me sane. :o
I know you are asking the board liberals, but as a conservative, not a religious one mind you, would I end a relationship over politics? Not quickly. There would have to be other issues. Reason being is that why a person supports another isn’t always for the reasons you may assume.
I’m not a fan of abortion. But I’m not going to end contact or be hostile to pro-choice or even pro-abortion folks. If you want to impact the world by spreading a message how are you going to make any progress if your audience is an echo chamber? You need to interact even with folks who take a different stance than you even one that is as offensive to you as Trump supporters seem to be. Maybe this is the reason colleges strive for diversity. It’s important that different people don’t coalesce into hostile tribes.
Another example, religion is pretty absolute. You believe this you go to heaven. Otherwise you go to hell. Sort of cut and dried. Yet, if competing religious folks couldn’t be friendly to each other you’d see the sort of dehumanization and polarization that empowers groups such as ISIS.
I’ve long said that, if I saw someone actually supporting Trump on Facebook, I could no longer be friends with them. But it hasn’t really happened. I did see one guy post “the real Donald Trump” stuff, when they were trying to push him as actually not being so bad. I was okay with that one since they were at least trying to come up with a way he wasn’t evil. I just pointed out the flaws in these being the only few times he might have been good.
I can be friends with someone who has some racist ideas they are trying to get over. I can’t be friends with a racist. It doesn’t matter how nice they are to me, I know they wouldn’t be if my skin color is different. The only way we could possibly be friends is if I’m secretly trying to “convert” them. But that’s not really friendship, I don’t think.
And I agree that this is not something that affects any other candidate, ever. It’s not a Republican thing. I’ve been friends all my life with Republicans. I’ve even voted Republican on occasion. That’s not the issue. Trump has made no bones about how evil he is. To actually support him tells me about the morality of the person doing so. And it’s not something I can put up with.
I can barely put up with those who think he’s the least worst. They have a thin, thin line to stay on. So far, all the people I’ve seen like that wind up saying false things about Clinton, and persist in believing them once shown they aren’t true, suggesting the reason is something other than the facts about her.
I have several friends (one close) and family (my dad and probably my mom) that are Trump supporters. We just don’t discuss politics, simple as that. Or try avoiding it as much as possible (in the case of my dad, who occasionally does bring it up and gets me going.) I’m at a Vietnam veteran’s reunion right now with my father, and there’s a lot of pro-Trump anti-Obama stuff I hear here, and I just gotta keep my trap shut and make sure my dad has a good time with his mates. They all seem to be very good people with very different beliefs than me. I don’t quite understand the beliefs, but I can disagree with someone and still enjoy their company, as long as we avoid the topic.
For one thing, refusing to be friends and cutting off all contact are different things. I’m not required to be friends with someone I think is horrible.
Plus, there’s enough reason at this point to believe that Trump’s true supporters cannot be convinced. Trump himself gives the best reasons, but so has everyone else. Eventually you have to resign to the fact that some people can’t really be convinced at all. At least, not before the election.
The people we have to convince are those who are holding their nose to vote for him, or those sitting out (or voting third party) instead of Clinton. There’s not time to fix thetrue believers, and there may never be. (Just like a whole lot of us are just waiting for the racists to die off and stemming the tide until then.)
Like it or not, supporting Trump is one of the most odious things you can do at this point. It is Westboro Baptist Church bad. I cannot recall another politician as bad as him in my lifetime. And he doesn’t even try to hide it. He’s just flat out, 1980s villain evil.
Everyone keeps trying to act like this is the same as before, when it isn’t. We have Evangelicals supporting the blatantly non-Christian candidate. We’re finding out more and more how many people find appeal in the authoritarianism (aka evil) that he projects. How much they like sinners.
It is different, and the rules that worked in the past do not apply.
You are correct in that you can choose who you wish to be friends with or friendly for that matter. Not everyone is does the same amount of research. Not everyone values each issue the same. Some are single issue voters or whatever.
Some of the Trump supporters I know think that since he’s running as a Republican they might get lower taxes. Others aren’t anti-immigrant they are anti illegal immigrant and anti free trade. But I’m not here to defend or attack a candidate.
I’m just saying personally, I try not let one’s religious or political leanings alienate or offend me. There are exceptions of course. I don’t like the misogyny I see from religious conservatives of any stripe. Or folks that allow religion to cause child neglect, etc.
