Here’s the URL http://www.cca.org/woc/felfat/index.html. I’m not sure if I need to, but I’m giving this link to give proper credit for ripping off the page.
THE FLAT EARTH LIBERATION FRONT AGAINST TELEVISION (FELFAT)
The Flat Earth Liberation Front Against Television (FELFAT) is an organization determined to fight the evil that has spoiled this once-great world, and to bring humanity back to the ancient utopian state which it deserves.
FELFAT does not believe that the Earth is flat. We acknowledge the overwhelming circumstancial evidence that the Earth is currently round. (Actually, we believe the earth to be a perfect sphere unlike many spherists, who believe that the earth is oddly shaped, mostly spherical, but with a bulge around the equator and flattened poles. The is obviously silly. On the other hand, we believe that there must be large-scale structural anomolies left over from the spherization process in the lithosphere.)
FELFAT however, holds the position that the Earth was formerly, and is naturally, entirely FLAT (and most likely unbounded). The earth was originally designed to be flat, and all aspects and features of this planet are properly understood only within the context of an entirely flat earth.
The original flat earth was confined, restricted, and twisted into a perverse spherical shape by a conglomerate of TELEVISION BROADCASTERS in an attempt to realize their dream of TOTAL HUMAN MIND CONTROL. Before the Earth was enspherized, people could escape television broadcast beams by direct linear travel. This is no longer the case, as television broadcast waves encircle the limited globe. The goal was not spherization, but limitation. The most obvious solution, to cut off the remainder of the planet beyond a small fixed inner area, giving a flat, bounded earth with the traditional falling-off-the-edge-of-the-world, would have been too obvious, left too much evidence of the deed.
Instead they cut out that same fixed inner area, then wrapped it up into a sphere, and destroyed historical evidence of the flat unbounded earth.
The big question of course is how they managed to spherize the Earth. There is some speculation that they somehow managed to tinker with some of the cosmological constants that define our particular universe in such a way as to redefine the world’s stable state from flat to spherical. There has been much speculation regarding the destabalizing of the value of PI: on the surface of the earth, treated as a 2d positively curved non-euclidean plane, the value of PI is a function of the size of your circle, rather than a constant. (For example: a very small circle on the surface of the Earth has a value of PI approaching the traditional euclidean-space value, but if you start at the North pole, and enlarge your circle untill it is equivalent to the equator, you can easily see that the value of PI for that circle is exactly 2.) It is not currently understood how one would degenerate the value of PI so as to destabalize a flat plane, but it is a field of intense research.
FELFAT is working towards the glorious return to a FLAT EARTH by means of Operation Dateline Dig.
Operation Dateline Dig
The Flat Earth Liberation Front Against Television (FELFAT) is working towards the return of the earth from its current unnatural spherical shape to its original, natural flat unbounded shape. To do this, we propose to dig a trench through the earth’s crust, unfold it, and landfill around the edges, infinitely.
We’re guessing we’ll have to dig at least three or four hundred feet down before we break through. In order to avoid inconveniencing anyone during this project, we plan on digging along the international dateline, which is the only path from pole to pole specificly designed to avoid population centers.
The big problem facing Operation Dateline Dig is not the actual digging through the earth’s crust. That’s just a finite amount of hard labor. The tricky part is replacing the spherist day-night technology. The two possibilities are a stationary, oscillating radiating source, or an infinite sequence of properly spaced radiating point sources traveling down an arbitrary (probably spiral) path.
Current FELFAT research favours the stationary oscillating source as being technicly simpler. Much debate rages however, over the features of this oscillating source. Should it be zero dimensional (point source, such as the sun), one dimensional (infinite stellar flourescent tube), or two dimensional (the so-called “Bright Sky” approach favoured by the Defense Department)? The use of fractal structures (shapes with a fractional number of dimensions) has also been considered, but the findings of that research project are still classified.
Also, please contact us if you own a shovel, boat, or any flourescent tubes and would like to help bring about a return to Eden.