Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck. Damn, but these people…
You’re right; there’s no word for these people. They are greedy, stupid, and probably crazy, but none of those words are adequate. Platonic whores comes close, but whores provide a useful service to society and I don’t want to sully their collective good name. These people are more like syphilitic cockroaches, the type that won’t survive a nuclear explosion.
I will lose any respect I had for any corporation that goes through with this. I have already lost any respect I ever could have had for the parents. I will feel sorry for their kid, if this goes through. I will feel sorry for their kid if this doesn’t go through, cause he’ll still have these pieces of shit for parents. But mostly I will feel sorry for people like me, who have to read about shit like this and beg any higher powers that might be out there to make stupidity painful for the stupid people.
Wouldn’t it be a coup for a smart corporation to take them up on the offer and then name the child something like “John” or “Jane” (or any other traditional name) and then say that they were doing this in the child’s best interest? That way, they’d still have free publicity and they’d look like friendly benefactors instead of Oportunistic Corporate Sleazebags[sup]tm[/sup].
True, but that just makes the parents Low-Life Whoring Pimpsters. The Corporation comes out smelling like roses. After all, they “saved” this child from being named “Tampax” Jones by winning the bidding and then magnanimously naming him “John” instead of “Pepsi.” They could make a big to do out of how they were mortified at the thought of this child running around with an inappropriate name and decided to take the parents up on the offer out of the goodness of their hearts. They can then hook him up with a lifetime supply of Pepsi Products (including apparel).
Hehe, do they really think that the kid isn’t gonna be made fun of at school? Come on. These people are pretty damn foolish… not to mention lazy and selfish… if they really wanted to do the best for their children, they’d get off their asses and get jobs, not sell them to some company.
I grew up with an “unusual” name, so let me say upfront I’ve got no sympathy for these jerks.
However, maybe they are hard working people in low-income dead-end jobs. Half a million dollars is undoubtedly enough to pay their debts, buy a house and start a college fund. All this for a child’s name? And maybe some “Mikey likes it?” advertisements? It’s not such a bad idea, and possibly the only bright idea these people have ever had.