I frequently see trigger warnings on videos, etc. and am of two minds about them. On the one hand, I don’t want to be an insensitive asshole. On the other hand, I feel like those that are sensitive to such things perhaps need to desensitize themselves. I say this as a person who has never experienced real trauma, but I often wonder if those who have feel like others are unnecessarily defending them. Maybe hearing a certain word will cause crippling anxiety and it’s not something you’ve been able to overcome in therapy, or maybe you feel like talking about it dispels the demons. Obviously, there’s a continuum here. Some things are going to be traumatizing to some people, even if they’re relatively benign, e.g. playing a prank on someone who’d been a kidnapping victim by locking them in the trunk of your car until they say “uncle”. But I feel like maybe we might be overly concerned and people working through trauma might feel like the rest of us are excessively protective and should stay in our lane. Thoughts?
Can speak for myself without being prescriptive for other people?
I sometimes like being in spaces where I don’t face contemptuous dismissive shit from people when I write certain types of stuff. But I spend a lot more time and energy putting that stuff out where lots of people who don’t already agree with me or have a tolerant attitude will see it, to engage them and maybe shift their thinking.
I’ve been the target of other kids’ (and later of course adults’) nastiness all my life and for self-protection developed a strong “I don’t care what other people think of me” internal perspective.
We all have issues. Whether you’re triggered by similar or not.
I personally don’t think it’s any ones responsibility but my own, to deal with My issues. If they want to warn me that’s on them.
Desensitizing and working on the problem (any way you feel you can) is personal responsibility.
You can’t stop the world turning just 'cause you’re afraid you’ll fall off.
that’s actually a fear of mine
My feeling is that if it hurts no one and helps someone, then do it.
I do know that believing that someone with problems you’ve never had, or someone with problems they can’t overcome that in your opinion are much like those that you did overcome, just needs to be stronger or more impervious so that you won’t be inconvenienced by their suffering, is one of the uglier beliefs out there. It’s one that causes a great deal of damage.
I know this from personal experience.
I’d say trigger warnings are a courtesy. Nobody’s stopping anyone from reading what’s been spoilered out, and those dealing with a particular past traumatic event can make their own call. But the absence of such a warning means the writer’s already made the call for them - surprise!!
I’ve had a pretty trauma-free life, but I realize I’m luckier than a lot of people.
This, so much.
I had tickets with a friend and their spouse to see the Broadway musical “Beetlejuice”. We had had the tickets for several months. During that time, the spouse developed a very aggressive cancer and died.
My friend still wanted to attend the show (it was about 2 months after the death). After listening to the soundtrack I became concerned about my friend’s reaction.
The very first song after the prologue is “The Whole ‘Being Dead’ Thing”. Samples of the lyrics include “Welcome to a show about death” and “Death can get a person stressed, we should have carpe’d way more diems now we’re never gonna see 'em.”
Anyway, my friend brushed it off with “I’m not going to hide in a cave and hope nobody ever says the word ‘death’ to me, I can’t live like that.”
So, we attended the show about death, and they absolutely loved it.
mmm
I think you have an odd idea of what’s benign. I’ve never been a kidnapping victim and I’d throw an absolute fit if somebody did that to me. I doubt I’d ever want to have anything to do with them again.
And given that – I think it’s very easy for people who aren’t bothered by things, including things up through that level, to misjudge what reasonably bothers other people. In case of doubt, if somebody says they’re bothered by something, and you have no really good reason to do it anyway, don’t do it. And if some people want to be warned about things – then warn them.
They did. Different people handle grief very differently, and some people wouldn’t.
It was right for you to go – but it was also very much right of you to warn your friend.
Quoted for truth.
Understood.
mmm
What kind of things resulted in trigger warnings that seemed unnecessary?
I think content warnings are fine, especially if children are likely to be in the audience. If someone complained I didn’t give sufficient warning before referencing single-use plastic or something, that’s a bit lame. I can’t say anything like that has happened though.
I agree completely, that’s about the furthest thing from a benign prank I can imagine. Not only is it not benign, but it’s also the kind of thing that is going to traumatize people. If someone were to do something like that to me, there’s one last thing I’d have to do with them: contacting the police to have charges pressed on them.
You must be consuming very different media that I do; I almost never see them, and where I do see them, they make perfect sense to include. The last media I consumed that had the equivalent of a trigger warning was the video game Doki Doki Literature Club which warns on load up that it isn’t a game for children, includes suicide and other sensitive topics and has an option in the options menu to disable graphics showing them. Without spoiling it, I already knew that going in, but those that don’t and think it’s just a cute anime dating simulator game deserve the warning; it’s a psychological horror game.
“If you suffered in life and want other people to suffer as you did because “you turned out fine,” you did not, in fact, turn out fine.”
[author unknown]
“Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.”
–Brad Meltzer
I’ll eschew peanuts on the airplane because somebody else on the plane might die.
I was very cautious and conscientious during COVID for similar reasons. I was/am also among the medically vulnerable.
I wore/wear cycling and motorcycle helmets because … can’t hurt, might help.
If I want to eat myself to death on processed foods, the nutrition labels won’t stop me. They might, however, be dramatically helpful to somebody else on an entirely different journey than mine.
Most of the series’ my wife and I watch have the very simple, one-word ‘trigger warnings.’ I’m heartened to live in a society that will throw crumbs to people fighting a battle that I know nothing about.
I’ll even chip in to support it, but in a case like the OP, nothing at all is being asked of me.
This is a positive sum game.
I think it’s great that so many people want to be considerate to other people. Are we overly sensitive? At times, yes. In the wake of 9/11, Clear Water issued a list of songs their radio stations shouldn’t play that included, “Love is a Battlefield,” “Walk Like an Egyptian,” and “That’ll Be the Day.” I don’t remember the generally public getting up in arms about this song, so maybe it’s just a case of overly cautions Clearwater managers. But their perceptation was that they songs were insensitive and shouldn’t be played.
Are trigger warnings the same as content warnings? We’ve had content warnings for many, many years now, but calling them trigger warnings is fairly recent.
I feel compelled to point out the qualifier “relatively” in the OP referring to the trunk of the car prank. It is clearly over the top and I can certainly understand that some or most would end friendships over that. But it doesn’t come close to a real kidnapping. I might shrug it off, and even those who react with more force probably would not react like someone who had actually suffered a kidnapping. I don’t have personal experience with this but I would guess there’s a difference between being righteously pissed and having a full-blown anxiety attack.
I like a lot of the answers here. Wanting to toughen people up is something they should get to buy into, not something that should be forced upon them.
I was thinking about cases where words like “rape” and “suicide” are censored, probably more than mentioning that the following content may be disturbing. Providing full disclosure in order to let someone make a decision about whether or not to participate is at the least good manners whereas somehow pretending such things don’t exist is to my way of thinking, counterproductive
Thank you for this powerful and thoughtful note.
No, it’s not kidnapping. It’s unlawful restraint, which depending upon the state you reside in is either a high degree misdemeanor or a low-level felony. You’re looking at ~60 days in jail if a misdemeanor or about three or five years in prison if it’s a felony, dependent upon your state’s laws. It is a serious crime, not a prank.
Try to imagine having this happen to you if you were a woman, or black, or gay, or a child. Or had serious medical needs. Or previous trauma. Or had any of host of common psychological conditions which would be exacerbated. In fact, trying to imagine the effects on anyone unlike yourself would be, I suggest, an excellent exercise for you; it would help you comprehend the responses of many of the posters on this thread.
People in natural disasters die – often from heart attacks – totally apart from the disaster itself.
Just the stress.
The trunk thing could be lethal for the wrong person on the wrong day.
Short of that, it could do irreparable (trauma) harm to the wrong person on the wrong day.
Yeah. The trunk scenario is way over the top.
A prank is silly, laughable and maybe messy. But not really fear inducing. Then it’s just mean and/or criminal.
But still, a person who is easily triggered for whatever reason should take the steps they need to take to avoid or decide to try it. (I mean adults. Children are another thing altogether)
In the end you are your own best advocate. You take responsibility for what you can handle.
The warning labels and notices are not gonna stop someone willing to take the chance. If they get triggered over it, it’s their own fault.
If they’re in some position they can’t choose they need to speak out and fight for their own mental healths sake. If they have seizures or other brain health problem their loved one should help them. Not some person making labels.
I don’t want some entity or power somewhere taking my choices away. They don’t know me. They don’t really care about me. I want my own agency.
I really don’t see how labels take away agency.
Labels first. Banning movies, burning books. Refusing certain music to be sold or played in public.
Are we going backwards here?
(I realize I’m being over zealous. But I like freedom to read, see or listen to what I want)