How am I slinging shit? How am I being sanctimonious? All I am saying is that people should work out and eat healthfully, regardless of their body size. I am not demanding everyone conform to a particular body type. I am saying, people who are fat and who have given up trying to be healthy are a problem for society, themselves, and their families. People who are skinny who have cholesterol through the roof because they are sedentary and eat a bunch of crap are just as bad.
My outrage has NOTHING to do with being fat, and everything to do with NOT CARING that you are living an unhealthy lifestyle.
So let me just say this ONE more time so that you can all stop twisting what I am saying.
I do not hate fat people. I do not judge fat people and automatically assume they are unhealthy. Being fat and being unhealthy are not synonymous. Being unhealthy is a choice and a lifestyle that is destructive to you, your friends, your family, and society. Be you fat or skinny, nearly everyone should exercise moderately and everyone should eat healthfully. If doing these things results in you being a buff God, great. If not, great! Be happy with how you look. But do not be happy with yourself if you are choosing to engage in unhealthy behavior.
I’d like to lose 40 pounds. (Weight Watchers would like me to lost 55, but I don’t think so.) In general, I don’t mind the weight…I like myself better now than I have in my whole life, and if that included accepting my imperfections, so be it. I know that I’m overweight because I eat too much, not because I’ve got a wacky metabolism or something; I eat a healthy diet plus a crap diet. I probably need to exercise more, as most people could. But I have to prioritize how I use my time, and frankly I’d rather make muffins than go biking.
The only thing that really nags at me is that my SO, who is exactly the same weight he was in high school (and I outweigh him!), is very health-conscious, and exercises daily, can put away about 3000 calories a day and not gain weight. I know…he works it off! But still…I’m a little bitter.
Do I care about who pays for it, etc? I’m not trying to screw the taxpayers, but on the other hand I pay my taxes just like anyone else. I don’t spend a lot of energy getting angry at people who I think are depriving their families, etc by their habits. I keep busy enough running my own life and don’t use a lot of energy trying to dictate how anyone else runs theirs.
Who wants mashed potatoes?
I don’t personally disagree with the sentiment at all. I think ultimately everyone’s weight is entirely their own business, and a lot less judgment and negativity surrounding weight and bodies would only make the world a better place to live.
This is the internet, though. Also the SDMB. I’ve seen far too many flame wars fought on this (or closely related) ground.
So gaining weight is caused by minute, almost undetectable lifestyle changes, but losing weight is an impossible act of extreme deprivation, completely reordering life, and calling on superhuman will?
Why would you need to drink lots of alcohol? Why can’t you just have one beer? Because you like the feeling of being drunk.
Why do you need to smoke one pack a day instead of just one cigarette? Because you like the feeling those chemicals give you.
Why do you need to spend $1200 for a 50" LCD TV instead of $300 for a 24" LCD? Because you like your movies on a large screen.
Why do I eat a cookie instead of an apple? Because I like the taste of it better.
In my personal situation, there’s a lot more to it (my alcoholic father would buy me tasty food to try to buy my forgiveness), but at the core of it, I simply like the taste.
Your post certainly made it seem like you hated fat people and had the aroma that suggested that you assumed we are not healthy.
The op reminded me of myself about 5 years ago. I was going to the gym three times a week and doing an hour of cardio on the other 4 days. I counted every ounce of food and water that entered my body. I was thinner. However, I had time for nothing else and was miserable (and causing those around me to be miserable).
So, the thoughts in the OP made me think of the day I snapped. My thoughts were basically ‘screw the world, I am not doing this anymore.’
I now play sports and chase after my kids (instead of the gym) and eat basically what my kids eat (since I force them to eat healthily being a big mean mommy and all). I read labels and am knowledgable about nutrition. However, I don’t stress about it.
When I see pictures of me then, I am thinner and everything from the neck down makes me wish I were that way again. Then I look at my face and you can see the pain behind the smiles.
I never said it was impossible, but if it were easier, more people would do it. But the ease with which one gains weight does contribute to how hard it is to lose it. Losing weight generally requires thinking about and planning around every single thing one eats, every single day, especially to maintain healthy habits and eat a nourishing diet while losing weight. For most people who are accustomed to restaurant portions and recipes that make way too much food, this requires recalibration of every eating habit they’ve developed over the course of their life.
Have an extra handful of almonds? Forget and have butter on your toast? Whole milk instead of skim? That’s it. That can make or break your diet for the day. Paying constant attention to anything is hard for people, and they don’t like to do it. Understanding that basic idea is not incredibly difficult for most to understand.
Thus, some people decide it’s too much work. This is not an unfathomable decision.
Something that you seldom have to think about when you eat is something that dogs a person who is trying to lose weight. I don’t mean “gee, I should probably lay off the deep fried butter chunks” kind of stuff. I mean looking at something that sounds healthy on the surface and realizing that its fat and calorie count are through the roof due to either portion size, sauce or other factors. One has to conciously deconstruct everything they encounter in order to make the change.
I see your point that you think it should be a two way street. It would seem on the surface that it should be just as easy to not have an ice cream, but you have to remember that it’s easy to be in a situation where keeping track of calories gets lost, and you don’t even realize you are going over until you break every morsel you’ve eaten that day down and do the math.
I know you’re just overstating it for emphasis, but it’s harder than it sounds to monitor every single thing you eat every single day for the rest of your life. Serious calorie and fat counting for every meal is pretty inconvenient and saps some of the joy out of eating even a delicious meal. Be that as it may, it’s part of what one has to do if one wants to lose weight.
No, it’s not impossible, but it is far more laborious than eating what you like without bothering.
I’ve gained weight and I’ve lost weight. Losing weight takes the same amount of effort it took to gain it. It’s a choice. Some choices are harder than others though, as evidenced by many testimonies in this thread.
Maybe almost every fat person out there, but not our op. Our op is aware of his/her size and, explicitly, is not making any effort to develop healthy lifestyle choices and does not care if (s)he dies as a result of that unconcern or who has to pay for it. So you and the vast majority of other overweight and obese individuals, are not who are being addressed. (The name post match should be noted.)
Again, the individual who is making an effort to develop healthier choices, deserves respect. Healthwise they don’t even need to lose much weight, but they do need to maintain the behaviors, and in our society that is often difficult.
Yes. A smoker who is trying to quit, has cut down at least, has made real efforts, and who does not expose others to passive smoke, deserves some respect. A junkie who has gotten on methadone, or who has tried to quit and is at least now committed to using sterile needles one time only, who is aware of the harm they are doing and is trying his/her best to change, deserves some respect. You, at least the version of you that you present in this op, not so much so.
No. I’m a 60 year-old male, 5 '7, at least 60 pounds overweight, and it tortures me. I’m out of shape, very easily tired, have obstructive sleep apnea, and am waiting for heart trouble and diabetes to strike. I look and feel bad.
I’ve always been someone who overdoes things. Never smoked cigarettes (thank goddess), but was a daily, heavy pot smoker for 15 years. With great difficulty I managed to quit over 25 years ago. 100% clean since then, thank you very much. But then I started drinking, and after a few years I was up to 4-5 drinks daily. After a couple of years like that, I managed to cut back to 3-4 drinks per week, and in the years since my alcohol consumption has dropped to nearly zero.
But all this time, since my late teens, I’ve been a compulsive overeater. By the time I was 20 I was 15-20 pounds overweight and it only got worse. Piggery is the one vice I’ve never been able to get any kind of control over. I eat too damn much.
I painted with a broad brush when I said “fat people are driving up the costs of healthcare.” I was speaking generally, and should have been more specific. The fat people who are working out and eating well are probably not contributing to rising health care costs, so I do apologize for that comment.
That being said, everything else I said stands and is not unreasonable, is it? People who are fat and who do not care are choosing to live a destructive lifestyle aren’t they? I am so happy for people who realize that they owe it to themselves and their families and to society to live healthy lives. Our time is so short on this planet, the last thing we want is to lose the ones we love because they couldn’t stop putting butter on their vegetables, or eating desert more than once or twice a month, or refusing to engage in cardio exercise a few times a week.
The whole issue about time is irrelevant. 20 minutes a few times a week is all it takes, and you can do that walking or watching tv. You don’t have to spend ANY time in the gym, or drive yourself miserable to live a healthy lifestyle. People who honestly say that living healthfully is miserable are doing it wrong, and expecting results too quickly. It’s a destructive attitude to have, just like people who say that quitting smoking is too hard, or they like drinking too much to quit…
Be happy with the way you look now! You don’t have to be thin to be happy or to be healthy. If you are getting exercise and eating well, you deserve your own self respect, and you certainly have mine. Setting a good example for your kids is extremely admirable as well. Kudos to you and everyone like you who is struggling to make themselves better. I may not be overweight, but I certainly struggle with the motivation to eat well and exercise too. We all do. But if we all do our best, we can make the world a better place.
Incidentally, my fat ass is running a 5K in about two hours.
I gave up trying to lose weight a long time ago. Running seems to keep me from ballooning up too much, and I find that when I’m in good shape I don’t really give a crap about what size jeans I’m in.
I’ve been at the ‘couldn’t give a fig’ stage many, many times. And I always end up looking at myself or trying to do up that too-tight zipper and thinking (yet again) “how did I let myself get to this point.” I’m about there again after going through several months’ of not giving a rat’s arse. Now I have nothing to wear - well, one pair of trousers and two tops - my knees are hurting, I can’t sleep at night and I have trouble with stairs.
I do wish I hadn’t stopped caring but I never learn from my past behaviour. Grrrr.
And it’s going to take a LOT more work and deprivation to rid myself of these 15 kilos than it did to regain them.
It’s true. People don’t put on an extra 40 pounds in a month’s time…so people shouldn’t expect to lose it in a month’s time. All it takes is CHANGE. Lot’s of people don’t like to change…they would rather say “I don’t give a fig.”
Someone after my own heart. I’m fat and don’t care when I die.
On the gross-out scale I’m maybe a 4. I’ve been fat and I’ve been skinny and I’m sure my weight will change again. It always has. One time I weighed 200 lbs and I’m 5’3". Now that’s round. Medicine caused the gain and over about a year’s time I lost 70 lbs, on a diabetes diet (basically South Beach but I doubled the protein so I’d stop chewing the furniture.) Now I’m up again; not as much but more than my “fighting weight.” I’ll either lose it or die first and then it won’t matter. lol
And about dying…I’m going for quality of life, not quantity. All these people who deny themselves favorite foods and jog in 90 degree heat—I’m just not into that. Have they ever thought that those extra years they’re going to gain are tacked on to when they’re old? Not in their prime—old. I don’t want to be bedridden with a tube in every orifice wishing I’d eaten more cheesecake.
Pretty much. Most people gain the extra weight over a number of years. If it took you 5 years to gain 50lbs, would you be satisfied if it took 5 years to lose it by making imperceptible lifestyle changes? Most people aren’t. I’m currently on the Weight Watchers program and I’ve lost 34.6lbs in 27 weeks. I have roughly 65 lbs to go and hope to accomplish losing the whole 100lbs in 2 and a half years. To lose it at the rate I gained it would take 10-12 years. You have to make bigger changes to get the weight off. To stay motivated you have to see some perceptible progress.
You don’t have to go on a deprivation diet to do it, but you do have to reorder your life and your relationship with food and at times it does take superhuman will to stay on track.
