i see what your’e saying about obligations now, though i percieve them as unconditional, not obligations in the sense that we feel we must do something, rather what we do naturally and becomes some of the signs of love. as for self love, without that, i don’t think you can move on to truly have the best of love for another can offer. still, as for lust, Vestal said it best i think 
Are we talking “love” or “commitment” here? Because they are two separate concepts.
I’ve loved lots of different men in my life, and was glad I met them. Hell, I was glad I slept with them, too. They enriched my life, amused me, pushed my buttons, and helped me grow as a person. But there was only two out of the whole bunch who’d I would have considered committing to in a marriage situation.
Why? Because love isn’t enough. And whoever thinks it is, is kidding himself. To love someone you only need an open heart. To commit to someone you need love PLUS compatibility. If you find yourself battling over the tiniest thing, for instance, then I’d think long and hard about committing to him for life. If he’s ever walked out on you or broken up with you, he may be the type to walk out of a marriage. If you’ve ever felt physically threatened by him, he’s not commitment material. If you want kids and he doesn’t, forget about it.
Food for thought.
Thanks to edwardina. I appreciate it.
Love is when you volunteer to sleep on the wet spot.