What makes a person feel like they’re “in love?” Butterflies, sweaty palms, nervous stomach… what?? How do you really know it’s love and not just lust?
[cynicysm] I don’t think it matters.[/cynicysm]
“I should not take bribes and Minister Bal Bahadur KC should not do so either. But if clerks take a bribe of Rs 50-60 after a hard day’s work, it is not an issue.” ----Krishna Prasad Bhattarai, Current Prime Minister of Nepal
Hey, if people could tell the difference between “love” and “lust,” no books or plays or movies would ever get written.
Not that that would be a BAD thing . . .
Sleep with the guy. Marry him. If, in ten years, you can’t stand being in the same room with him and every little habit drives you insane, then it was lust.
Alright, this really isn’t the type of question I ordinarily answer but from a biological standpoint I’ll go with the release of epinephrine from adrenal glands as the cause of those feeling.
Love vs. lust? Well, that’s up to each person to decide. For a guy, one good way to tell is (after the relationship has been going on for some time) whether you want to still be around the woman right after you’ve had sex, or would you rather hang out with your same sex friends. In the former case, it’s love, in the latter it’s lust. I would also state that the relationship should be somewhat stable so that a situation of lust isn’t mistaken for love where the guy stays after sex with the woman for no other reason than to not piss her off, which would otherwise eliminate the possibility of MORE sex later on.
Now my two cents:
Love and lust are much easier to confuse in my opinion if both parties in the relationship have had numerous partners and have treated sex as a casual thing. I only had sex with one other woman prior to getting married, and my wife was a virgin prior to meeting me. I’d personally say our marriage is very strong, and after two years, I still don’t look at other women. My friend who’s screwed 25 women? Well, he’s still looking for that ‘perfect someone’
The chemical that makes you feel all fuzzy inside when you’re around or think about the person you’re enamored with, is phenethylamine, which, your body produces from epinephrine and is also chemically related to the amphetamine class of drugs and “ecstasy.” Of course when you’re with a person for a substantial amount of time, usually a year or so or even less, your body stops triggering phenethylamine at the sight or thought of your partner. At this point, either you truly care about the person and continue the relationship or it ends. A lot of failed marriages were all about phenethylamine and not enough about actual caring. Incidentally, people who have trouble committing to long term relationships could be aptly called “phenethylamine junkies”. They have a constant need to experience that high feeling and when it goes away, their partner is of no use to them anymore.
Oh. So that’s the chemical.
Thought for sure we covered this before.
My answer is the same as before. A person feels ‘in love’ when they meet someone, whether they know it or not, with the same childhood as they had.
Love? As Al Pacino said in The Devil’s Advocate, it’s no different then eating large amounts of chocolate. Love is only real when it lasts a lifetime. Most people get married out of convenience and lust, thus the high divorce rate in our country. btw- We must be the biggest liars in the world, how many people get married and say the words “til death do us part”? Liars.
hmmmmm hold out on the sex for several months…if you are still together…then it must be love…most guys ain’t gonna wait…
I kind of agree with Yarster. I completely lusted after the last man I was with. When we would have sex I would leave and go home almost immediately after. It was a mutual thing. We enjoyed each other for sex and didn’t want it to be anything more than that. It was great.
The guy I’m with now has stayed with me every night for the last month and we’ve been together for about 6 weeks total. We dated for a couple of months about 8 years ago so we’ve known each other for awhile. We just ran into each other a couple of months ago and he started calling me and we would talk until 2 or 3 in the morning. One night he came over to keep me company while my son was awake at 2 in the morning. (We didn’t sleep together that night, it was about 4 days later.) He’s been with me every night ever since.
If I had to say right now whether it was love or lust… I would say it’s love. I guess that I’m just a little weary about the whole thing because I’m recently divorced and don’t want to make any more bad choices concerning men. I’ve done enough of that!
If you’ve known said person for about three years and loved/lusted after him/her for about three years less a month or so do the chemicals continueto be released even if there has never been any sexual activity involved?
In other words, I have had crush on said girl for over three years. She has denied me sexually (see my recen post on nice guys not getting laid) but has been one of my best friends. Every time i see her or think about her i get what i can only assume is either a huge rush of lust chemicals or deeply felt love. WHat up?
“C’mon, it’s not even tomorrow yet…” - Rupert
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