In a nostalgic mood here tonight, and got to thinking about how my life has gone so far. I was surprised to find that I’m pretty much where I predicted in a lot of ways.
When I was about ten years old I remember deciding that I probably shouldn’t get married, and that I would live relatively frugally in order to devote my money to doing fun stuff. And today that’s the life I lead.
Came close to getting married once, but it didn’t happen in the end. And I do live cheaply, preferring to spend my money doing things that many others only fantasize about. I’ve got a long way to go (hopefully), so who knows what will happen as time goes by. But I was a bit surprised to realize that my ten year old self predicted where I am now.
How about you? Surprised with where you are, or did you see it coming?
I think it was John Lennon who said, “Life is what happens while you’re busy making plans.” That’s been my experience anyway. I never planned to be a single father with 2 infant sons at the age of 30, but that’s what happened. Sounds to me like you’re still young enough for life to happen to you while you’re making plans too.
No, not really. But I never had any real specific plans, either. I’ve tried to take life as it comes more as I get older. I think a lot of planning people do is in vain; If being successful and happy were simply a matter of planning, there’d me more successful and happy people than there are.
There certanly is no way or reason that EVERYBODY’s plans will come even close to working out. Nowadays, i look at people preoccupied with “planning” their lives as being subject to a delusion: that they are really in control of what happens to them. It is manifestly untrue, at least on the grander scale.
When I was very little I thought that I would marry a handsome young man and live forever in fairyland.
When I was ten, I thought I would live in a penthouse in New York and drink martinis.
When I was a teenager, I thought that I would marry a business man and keep house and raise children.
When I was twenty-five, I thought that I would never marry and would be a bitter old woman, lonely and alone.
When I was twenty-nine, I met and almost married a handsome young man who lived in fairyland – I swear, he lived two blocks from Hans Christen Andersen’s house. But I couldn’t have children, so I married my best friend instead.
When I was forty-one, I met my match and married him at 42, which, as we know, is the answer to everything.
Now I’m sixty and living a life much better than I thought that I would. Although I had no children, I have had all the fun of grandchildren and, as I’ve told everyone in every other post, I’m off to Paris in April with my 16 year old granddaughter in tow.
I write a little, kiss a lot, laugh even more and have a lovely life complete with a wickedly funny husband and an orange cat named Pumpkin. I never did do much housework. I don’t cook at all.
Damn, when it’s good, it’s really, really good! But I never did make it to NYC!
When I look at my life at age 40, it seems that I’m not as far as I’d thought I’d be when I was at electronics school 18 years ago.
I’ve had to wade through a hell of a lot more ‘learning experiences’ <shudder> than I ever expected to. There was a complete understratum of emotional and social learning that I was oblivious to when I was in school. And it’s that learning that has taken the time.
So, no, I don’t have a luxury car or a giant house or anything like that. On the other hand, I’m considerably more bilingual that I ever would have expected.
Same as Lizard, I’ve never had any specific plans and I also just try and take each day as it comes. I have always wanted to travel abroad and there are smaller things I’d like to do like learn to drive, etc. But it can still all happen.
I just try not to make set plans, that way in twenty years time I’ll (hopefully) not be too disappointed with the way things turned out.
I’m relatively healthy, I have a good family and good friends, and I don’t kill myself making a living. I never thought I would have it this good, but I’m not giving any of it back
My life has pretty much turned out like I expected…wife, kid, house, job. The main difference is I have actually been more succesful financially than I expected. I am like Sunspace in that I don’t drive a luxury car, but at least we paid cash for the car I do drive. And the house is quite decent, although not luxury.
Once I was in my mid teens and realized how shy I was and how difficult it was for me to get a date I had a good feeling I’d never get married in spite of any efforts to find the right partner. At age 33 I’ve given up all hope and I am still single, just as I had predicted.
When I was growing up I thought I might be employed at some Fortune 500 company making a six-figure income and living in a large house and driving a nice, expensive car. I figured attaining such wealth might help me to become married and have a family. I envisioned having a tradtional American Ward Cleaver-like family.
I hoped to go to college and be out in four years with a degree in business management or in computer science. A girlfriend who nearly ruined my life at that time changed all that. I still ended up finishing college, but only with an associate degree. I should have stayed with it and made up for the time lost to the problems my girlfriend had caused.
As it is now, I live in a townhouse and I make a moderate but acceptible income, but I’m certainly not the semi-affluent individual I had aspired to become. Still, for the most part, life’s been fairly good to me so far and since I have my health I really can’t complain about much of anything else.
Not at all… I thought for sure I’d be alone and miserable - if I ended up surviving at all. I hated myself and life in general and my father told me at every opportunity that no man would ever want me - especially since odds were good I’d never be able to have children. I even tried suicide a couple of times but I couldn’t bring myself to go through with it.
Today I’m happy, married and have 2 great kids. We live as close the the ‘Leave it to Beaver’ lifestyle as I’m willing to get. I don’t have the biggest house or the flashiest car but our house is big enough for the 4 of us and the cars get us from here to there.
Even though I’m still fairly young, my life is nowhere where I thought it would be five years ago. I expected to start a career right out of college, moving to some big city far away from the south. I didn’t want to think of marriage or kids. I sure as hell never wanted to become a military wife.
Now I’m engaged to the guy I was dating my senior year of high school. We’ll be married in less than six months. I’m graduating college next month and I have no clue as to what I’m going to be doing. But I did get one thing right, we’ll be moving out of the south. Of course it’s only because he joined the navy and is getting stationed in New York state.
I love my life.
Eight years ago I was soccer mom, PTA president, head roommother, had a husband, 2 kids, little house with a white picket fence, all things I daydreamed of as a child, wanting to be just like my Mom. I walked away from it to save myself, lost everything and built a different life. Getting here hurt a lot; I’ve dissappointed my folks and been scared so much of the time. But whatever happens, I’m not married to Troy.
No, I never saw this life I now lead coming. I was raised to be a housewife and PTA mom. Now I have a great career I worked hard for and am married to a most unsuitable man who makes my life the envy of my co-workers.
I love my life.
Eight years ago I was soccer mom, PTA president, head roommother, had a husband, 2 kids, little house with a white picket fence, all things I daydreamed of as a child, wanting to be just like my Mom. I walked away from it to save myself, lost everything and built a different life. Getting here hurt a lot; I’ve dissappointed my folks and been scared so much of the time. But whatever happens, I’m not married to Troy.
No, I never saw this life I now lead coming. I was raised to be a housewife and PTA mom. Now I have a great career I worked hard for and am married to a most unsuitable man who makes my life the envy of my co-workers.
No; I thought I would be married and have children by now, and I certainly didn’t plan on becoming a perpetual student. But I think the life I ended up with is much nicer than anything I could have imagined for myself as a child or teenager.
The only thing I don’t like about it is having to deal with the possibility that I might not get a shot at having children, ever, but I’m still too young to be very worried about this.
I didn’t really have any concrete expectations, but I could not have imagined the life I do have, had I tried to form any.
The mundane stuff - got a job, got a house, got a family - I could have predicted, I suppose. But the details underlying those “facts” - the people in my life - have opened dimensions that I could never have foreseen. My life is richer, more nuanced, than I could have imagined at any age.
I’m 42 now, and I’m intensely curious to see what my life will be like when I’m 82. With the amazing things that have come my way in just the last twenty years, I can’t wait to see what happens next!
I honestly don’t remember having any expectations, even into my twenties and thirties (I’m 41 now). I just sort of did/ took things as they came, and as a result tried a lot of different stuff.
My parents also, if I remember correctly, never asked any more of me than to finish college, stay off drugs and stay out of jail (well, I got two right anyhow! :D); and I think that kept me from trying to “force” my life to turn out one way or the other.
I’m pretty satisfied these days with my life… to complain would be rather silly, given how lucky I’ve been, even with some rather hard (in my opinion) knocks.
When I was younger, I assumed I’d go to college (maybe grad school) get a career that I loved straight out of college (one with goals that I’d work toward, advancement and achievement and all of those things) get married in my mid-20s, have kids in my early 30s and be a working mom (it was very utopian - he was the one who was going to stay at home and/or work out of the home and be the primary care giver or we’d split and take turns telecommuting, but I was going to keep working because I loved my job so much.) and it got kind of fuzzy after that.
Most of my friends and acquaintances thought much the same, and for most of them, that’s exactly how it worked out. They’re married (or engaged to be married), and having kids exactly on schedule. It didn’t seem so out of the question or asking too much.
I’m now within months of 30. I did do the college and law school thing. And during those years the vision changed, and reality reared it’s ugly head, and I realized what was likely to happen - which did…
I am employed. And my job is pleasant, but I’m not passionate about it. But it is pleasant. While I’d love to go back to school, I have no idea what in, and too much debt from the previous stint to just dive in to another career that I might not really like that much.
I’m very single. I’m obviously not getting ready to have kids. (which I’m disappointed about).
I don’t know if I am suited to living the life I thought I’d live even though I’m jealous of people who are living that life. I’m trying, in the meantime, to be content with the one I have.
