Are you looking for stocking stuffers?

Let me submit bacon bandages. We’ve done bacon salt. We did the maple-bacon lollipops. This year the bacon in the stockings will have fewer calories.

What else should I be getting?

This made me laugh like a hyena.

How about canned unicorn meat?
They also have bacon envelopes.

I want bacon lip balm.

The best thing to stuff stockings with are the legs of a lovely woman.

I actually have some. Seriously. My friend ran across some in a store, and thought it would be funny to buy it for the most bacon-obsessed person she knows. It doesn’t actually taste or smell like bacon, but it’s fun to have.

But do they smell like bacon?

They got threatened with a lawsuit over that one.