Training a coworker a few years ago: I told her to first use the mouse to click on “Start”. She asked what a mouse was. She’s over 30 years old, and we both work for a compurt company.
When I was in seventh grade history, we were given a remedial geography quiz to see how much we knew. I joked with a buddy sitting next to me about it, and made up answers. The girl sitting behind me opied my answers down word for word. The two I remember: What country is north of the US? Mexico. What’s the capital of Texas (I live in Texas, mind you)? Houston.
A couple of years ago, at site meeting at work, I listened to one of the higher-up deliver a motiational speech to us about how we had to move at the speed of light, or something. I remember him talking about how things move at the spped of light in outer space, and that’s how the astronauts made it to the moon so quick. Even sadder, no one reacted. I can understand not wanting to be rude to a higher up, but come ON!
I’m not sure if this is a genuine example of ignorance but . . .
I had a math professor who was fond of the phrase, “as fine as frog hair.” He once stopped to explain the phrase by saying, “Don’t you see, frogs don’t have any hair. They’re reptiles.”
I’m not sure, the “reptiles” part may have been a joke rather than real ignorance, but nobody laughed.
I took a trip to Greece, and was describing the Acropolis, etc. My friend promptly asked “But did you see the Coliseum?”, and I had to respond, “Sorry, no, that’s in Italy”.
I am continually surprised by how many people have trouble reading even the simplest invoices.
“I paid for this service in advance, how come it appears on my invoice NOW?”
Every charge you incur appears on the invoice immediately following the time it was incurred. Your payment should appear as well, fully offsetting that charge. [stupid mistake - people who can’t read invoices don’t know what the word “offsetting” means]
“Last month, my invoice said I owe $12.20. This months, it says I owe $24.40. How come you guys doubled my prices?”
Well, if you look at the “Current Charges” section, you’ll see that your rates have stayed the same - $12.20 per month. Since you haven’t paid since the month before last, you outstanding balance is two months’ charges. [correct in theory, but this lead inevitably to the flimsy claim of “BUT I PAID THAT” followed by a simple computer search revealing now such payment, and no receipt forthcoming, an abandonment of this claim later]
“I’m here to pay my bill.”
Okay, do you know how much you need to pay? [yeah right, like just because they want to pay their bill means they’ve read their bill]
“I don’t know, can’t you just look up my account?”
Sure. [it would be a little easier if you knew your account number, but I can just search by name if you want] Do you know what name is on the account?
“It should be Johnson’s Indoor Plumbing. Or Johnson’s Paints and Plumbing.”
[a search for “Johnson’s” reveals only a company in Illinois] I don’t think I’m finding it.
“Well, it’s my girlfriend’s pager. Look it up under Bruce Johnson.”
[a search reveals seven Bruce Johnsons; further discussions pries loose the all-important secret of where the customer lives]
Well, the computer says you owe 54.87.
"WHY IS IT SO HIGH?!"
[how the #@%&! should I know? Your invoices haven’t been getting sent to me for the past fifteen months, fer cryin out loud.]
Well, I imagine it is because of outstanding balances from previous months. It should all be on your invoices.
“Well, I never read my invoices.”
[I wonder - if I have a stroke right now can I sue the customer to recover hospital costs?] All I can do for you is print past invoices [which customer has just claimed to have a policy of ignoring]
[After some more useless questions, and the customer blinking at reprinted copies of their last two invoices with all the intelligence of Office Barbrady, the customer asks to see my manager. My manager comes out and tells them precisely what I have said, at which point they pay their bill and leave in a huff. I just don’t have the %^$&#@$ing touch, I tell you.]
My mother’s boyfriend expressed great surprise during a conversation about water when I used an example about why the sky is blue to illustrate a point. he thought it was blue because the light was reflected off the north pole somehow. how that would make the sky blue i don’t know and he didn’t either, but apparently he’d held this belief for a very long time, he’s over fifty.
I’d just like to point out some ignorance un this messageboard shockhorror
I wonder if Flochi realises that making Australia a republic would mean severing all ties with it’s mother country Britain, and further more that the “Union Jack” (the British flag) features prominently on the Australian flag. So changing the constitution and severing ties with Britain would indeed bring changes to at least the Australian Flag
I lived in Israel for a year. Upon returning, I learned that lot of people have odd ideas about what “Middle East” means. Two beliefs are as follows:
a. Israel is in Europe. Actually, an online friend of mine was going to Israel at about the same time I was (totally different programs, though) and was surprised when I told her that it wasn’t.
b. Israel is not in Asia. It’s in the Middle East!
Back in the U.S., a coworker of mine was trying to learn some Yiddish, because his friend used it all the time, and he wanted to be in the know or something. I mentioned in passing that Yiddish is the first language of a friend of mine, and my coworker didn’t believe me. “That’s impossible. Yiddish isn’t a language. It’s just words.” I wish I was kidding. I explained to him that Yiddish was a Germanic language influenced by Hebrew, that it was widely spoken by Eastern European Jews. He had absolutely no idea; he thought that Yiddish was a few slang words. He’s a sophomore in college who attended the private high school in the same town I attended the public high school and occasionally lorded his “better education” over me. Someone who was actively trying to learn Yiddish had no idea it was a language.
A surprising number of people don’t know there is a difference (and oh, it’s a big one) between Yiddish and Hebrew. A fellow Doper who shall remain nameless had the following conversation (or something quite like it) in #sd one day.
Me: Well, I lived in Israel, so I speak some Hebrew.
Person: No, that’s quite an easy mistake to make. Israelis speak Yiddish. Hebrew is a dead language.
Me: Uh, no. I think you have that backwards.
Person: No I don’t. You do.
Me: I’m sorry, Person, but I’ve studied Hebrew for three years and I think I know what language I was studying.
<this goes on for a while>
Person: A ha, I found an entry in the encyclopedia! “Modern Israelis speak ivrit”.
Me: Ivrit is Hebrew for the word Hebrew.
This was sort of a bad introduction to this Person, but since then he has redeemed himself, proving that he is in fact not stupid and is actually very cool.
Hi Dr Frog and welcome to the SDMB. Could you explain this a bit more? It seems to me that since the Australia Act (1986) there are no formal ties with Britain. No appeal to the House of Lords from the High Court, no theoretical right of the Imperial Parliament to do anything that would have legal effect in Australia. The Queen is still the head of state, but that is as Queen of Australia, not as Queen of England.
What “ties” did you have in mind? Membership of The Commonwealth? Various Commonwealth countries are republics. Some – like Tonga IIRC – even have their own monarchs.
Why would the Australian flag have to change? What could Britain do if we decided not to change it? (Not that I personally care one way or the other, to me it’s just a bit of cloth.)
Are you sure blue heelers are in America? They were bred in Australia, but I suppose they are such great dogs they could have been exported.
BTW, I think the original point was that shepherds herd sheep, therefore the pie should have contained lamb or mutton. Cowherds herd cows.
Now for my example of ignorance. My Mum just got a new computer. She was complaining that she didn’t receive the e-mail I sent her. I said that when we got off the phone she should check again and let me know if she still didn’t have any.
Mum - Why can’t I check now?
Me - You only have one phone line, you have to use it to connect to your server.
Mum - I don’t have to connect to the internet at work to get e-mail.
Me - Your work computer is on a network.
Mum - What difference does that make?
Me - How do you think the e-mail gets to your computer?
Mum - I didn’t think. …So I have to connect to the internet?
She finally managed to read (and reply) to my e-mail and I decided to not bother explaining the difference between connecting to her server and going on the internet.
Oh, and a workmate was sure that ‘club’ meant licensed to serve alcohol. That’s club as in nightclub, bowling club, bookclub. It took me twenty minutes and an offer to bet all my possesions on it for him to believe me that it didn’t.
I’m amazed that some Southerners deny having an accent, when it’s been talked about by every Southern star.
Once, a stranger at a hotel pool said “You must be a Yankee”.
I nodded yes. She said, genuinely puzzled, “We don’t really sound different to you-all, do we? Land! I mean to you.”
My grandfather has used heelers for the herd for at least 40 years, and I’m in Minnesota. So yes, they’ve made it this far north And yes, they’re great cattle dogs. The last good one we had would…wait, that’s another thread
Hmph. A lot of astronomers don’t know that either. I mean that literally; there is no hard and fast definition of either object, just an assumed one. Some objects look just like asteroids but have comet-like qualities, and vice-versa.
This is nature’s way of telling us that not everything fits into neat little boxes as much as we’d like. I have argued this in astronomy for years: just because we catalogued an object into a given category doesn’t mean it’s under any obligation to fit in there perfectly. Pluto is not like a major planet in many ways, Phaethon is not like an asteroid in many ways, brown dwarfs aren’t really stars or planets, etc. etc.
I work in a library so I am constantly amazed at what people do not know. A recent example:
A young girl and her mother came in looking for information on Henry Ford. As I usually do I tried to get the girl (about 9 or so) to tell me what she needed and what she knew about him. I asked her if she knew what he did, and she said no. I forget exactly what was said but at some point the mother said that she had never heard of him and did not know what he did either. When I did say who he was and what he did, she acted like it was the first time she ever heard it.
I am also surprised that people can not clearly express themselves or state what they need. For example someone will come in needing information on naval history, when I am unable to get them to narrow it down any I take them to the general history area and show them the naval section. After several minutes this person comes back saying they need pictures of the Battleship Texas!!! Hey, if you had said that at first, you could be heading home by now!!!
Did I already mention my ex-girlfriend who thought Hitler was a French Impressionist?
Some other choice facts about my ex:
She thought that the groundhog burrows in her back yard were ant nests. I never really learned if she believed in giant ants, too.
She was a vegetarian, but had no problem whatsoever eating eggs. It would appear as if she felt that since they were “dairy products,” they must be something other than animal. (I had to work overtime to keep my friends from spelling that one out to her.)
She believed, I mean really believed, that semen was chock-full of vitamins and minerals. I don’t know who the guy was who taught her that, but if I ever find out, I’m gonna shake his hand. I mean, I’m all for fighting ignorance, but sometimes you just have to go with the prevailing wisdom.
Most vegetarians, myself included, do eat eggs, as well as other dairy products. The long name for people who don’t eat meat but do eat milk, cheese, and eggs is ovo-lacto vegetarian. If you don’t eat animal products at all, you are generally considered to be a vegan. Not to hijack the thread too badly, but the rationale is that chickens lay eggs no matter what humans do to them, so you might as well eat them. However, I and many other vegetarians will be careful to buy only free range eggs, so as not to support the torture of animals. I hope you don’t take my words as veggie proselytization, as your food is your own business. This is simply the reasoning.
Otherwise, your ex does sound like she was missing something somewhere.
I haven’t read this whole thread and so don’t know if this has been posted before, but it always astounds me to remember that many of the people in Washington (state) who voted Tom Foley out of office believed that whomever they elected would be the Speaker of the House (as Foley had for so long).
And yes, they’re great cattle dogs. The last good one we had would…wait, that’s another thread