Two questions in my physiology class (a 400 level biology class):
What do you mean “gases come out of solution?”
But if there’s hemoglobin in the blood wouldn’t there be less room for oxygen?
Two questions from Creationists:
So if we evolved from apes, why are apes still around?
Why aren’t gorillas evolving into humans?
A couple summers ago I was at a local swimming pond. A goose was walking along the water’s edge with her progeny. A human mother with her offspring saw the procession and said to her child, “Ooh – look at the goose with her ducklings!”
Hey hey hey, there, a fertilized egg is NOT A CHICKEN! A fertilized egg is NOT ALIVE!! Eating a fertilized egg is NOT MURDER!!! What are you, some kind of fundamentalist? I will defend my RIGHT TO CHOOSE TO EAT A FERTILIZED CHICKEN EGG come hell or high water!!!
A few weeks ago we had a really bad snowstorm here and I was with one of my friends during a “white out”. It was snowing so bad that the trees not more than 10 ft. from the window could only be identified as shapeless grey blurs. She glanced outside and said, “Jacks, it’s not really snowing that bad. It’s just the wind blowing the old snow off the branches.”
A few days later, after fresh flurries and such, people were running their snowblowers quite a bit. I mentioned how the noise was starting to bug me and she agreed. “People should not cut the grass this early in the morning.”
She also asked how the dark cloud outside of the tinted window formed as a perfect rectangle. 
From the number of Titanic comments posted, I’d say that brilliant movie really attracted the closet scholars of America.
“That is SO stupid. Why would they be shooting off fireworks if the ship is sinking?”
I was at a general contractor’s office today paying for blueprint copies I’d made. It came to $4.50 total. I gave her a $10.00 bill and she had to slide across the floor in her chair about 5 feet to get to her damn calculator to figure out the change. I watched her punch in “10 - 4.5 = 5.5”. It sure was hard to break out laughing!
Two friends of mine lived in the half dog town I moved from last May . He was going to chemotherapy for testicular cancer about 3 years back, pretty rough but he’s in toatl remission. At the time though his wife wanders into a stationary store and the owner sees her, a woman he’s known for many years, and edges away from her. She’s trying to order the usual supplies for their business and finally asks him what the hell is the matter with him…His reply,
“Well, you husband has cancer.”
Her “Yes”
“Testititucular cancer?” (not exaggerating the pronounciation, trying to type it like it sounded)
Her “Yes, so?”
Owner of stationary store “Well, I don’t want you in here, cuz if he has it you must have it too!”
I am proud to say she left because she couldn’t stand to be subjected to such stupidity.
I had a neighbor like this who played her music really loud- so loud I could hear it in my apt, and I was in a separate building. I asked her to turn it down, and I got “well, I’m making a tape!” I offered some cables so she did not need a microphone and all I got was an odd look.
I had a neighbor like this who played her music really loud- so loud I could hear it in my apt, and I was in a separate building. I asked her to turn it down, and I got “well, I’m making a tape!” I offered some cables so she did not need a microphone and all I got was an odd look.
OK, I have 3 that I can think of:
One of my college roommates was the classic book-smart but nothing upstairs type. We were talking about cable channels one evening, and we discovered that she thought that C-Span was just a re-broadcast of CNN, but in Spanish.
Same roommate as above. I had the first version of Nintendo’s game system hooked up to the TV in our apartment, and one of our favorite games was Tetris. Lauren, being relatively uncoordinated (the stories about her falling into or tripping over the garbage can on a daily basis should be saved for another thread, I suppose), was obviously not too competent at Tetris. One day we figured out why. She was watching me play, and she says, with wide-eyed innocence, “Oh…I didn’t know you could turn the pieces around”.
A group of us were watching TV one night, and an advertisement for Fact Plus (a home pregnancy test) came on. While most other pregnancy tests are an enlongated shape (sort of tampon-ish in appearance), at the time, Fact Plus was a little plastic square, about 2" x 2", with two open spaces on top…one in which you put a drop of pee on the reactive chemical, the other in which either a plus or minus sign showed up to tell you if you were pregnant or not. My friend Simon, obviously not understanding the whole pee/chemical reaction fuction of a pregnancy test, watches the ad in silence…and then, under his breath, says “How do you get that up there?”.
<banging head against wall>
My college roommate, a Biology major, BTW, stunned me one evening with this question:
“Is a giraffe a mammal?”
To which I answered, “Of course, what did you think it was?”
“I thought it was like a horse.”
So I asked him to name a few mammals.
“Um, dolphins, whales, platypus…”
Why would changing the constitution force the country to change its flag? There are numerous countries around the world that have absolutely NO constitutional relationship with the United States, but have a flag that is obviously inspired by Old Glory.
Even getting to Newfoundland by train would have been impressive a) since Newfoundland is an island; b) it hasn’t had passenger rail since 1966 or c) any rail at all since 1989.
It also didn’t seem to bother the people of Hawaii, on whose flag the Union Jack is featured quite prominently.
I don’t think you’d like to eat a fertilized egg. Those little chicken embryos develop kinda quickly. So you crack open a perfectly normal looking egg and get a bowl full of bloody reddish schmutz. (I didn’t eat eggs for a few monthes after seeing that)…
Yeah, but I could, if I wanted to, darn it! I get so tired of these people giving me a guilt trip because I don’t believe that the unborn are alive. Unborn chickens, I mean.
Anyway, what you posted does sound gross. I guess I’ll stick with placenta soup.
I don’t know how true these are, but I thought they were really funny:
MAKES YOU WONDER HOW THESE PEOPLE CAN SURVIVE!!!
Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message “He’s lying” was placed in the copier and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn’t telling the truth. Believing the “lie detector” was working, the suspect confessed.
I was on my way to the loo. I passed the office of our firm’s favourite bimbo. I overheard her saying “Oh! I thought Spam was corned beef!”
Luckily I was able to get to the bathroom and jump up and down silently shouting beind closed doors.
I don’t know why I was so annoyed. It’s not like Spam is of enormous importance.
I am constantly having this argument with certain religious individuals who spout off about the evils of gambling. They tell me how lotteries are evil, casinos are evil, even betting a few bucks in an office Super Bowl pool is evil.
So I ask them, out of curiousity, if they own any stocks or bonds, or have a 401K plan.
“Of course I do!”, is the usual reply.
“So let me get this straight”, I ask them, “You invest money with the hopes of earning more, but with the possibility of losing it, right?”
They just never seem to get it. :rolleyes:
My mom thought mice were baby rats! But on a completely unrelated subject, obfusciatrist, what is it about music that you don’t like? Seriously, I’m very interested on why you are disinterested in music.
My ex-wife thought the same thing; that the sun and moon were the same thing, you just call it a different name depending on whether it’s day or night. She also tried to buy spotted paint. Her new husband had to travel from England to Scotland, so she told him (as a joke) that he would need his passport and would have to set his watch to a different time-zone. He believed her.
They deserve each other.
Dave.