I have a friend whose 32-year-old husband didn’t know, until they were attending childbirth class when she was pregnant, that women have 3, um…openings, down there. He thought it was only 2. He honestly thought the baby was going to come out the same place she peed out of. Ok, it’s the same general area, but come on!
(she swore me to secrecy, so don’t tell anyone, ok?)
My roommate has shown himself ignorant of the following facts:
- England is next to Europe.
- Egypt is in Africa.
- When you vote in Canada, you do not vote for prime minister.
- Canada’s Parliament contains a senate and a house of commons.
- The Prime Minister is the head of the party with the most seats in the House of Commons.
- The New Democratic Party exists.
(Note: he was born and raised in Canada.)
My other roommate (Hamish) and I have fortunately been able to disabuse him of these gaps in his knowledge.
Along the same lines, we have a political comedy show called This Hour Has 22 Minutes, which has a recurring segment called Talking To Americans. It involves Rick Mercer convincing Americans of stupid “facts” about Canada and getting them to congratulate us on things like constructing our first jet airplane, adopting the 24-hour clock and the telephone, crowning King Jean I, etc.
I was addressing an eighth grade newspaper class at a local elementary school and trying to describe headline point size. I explained the larger headlines traditionally belong at the top of the paper, but should remain under 50 point unless the event is of major, earth-shattering importance. I got looks of complete bafflement, so I tried to illustrate the point with a popular subtext reference.
“Have you ever seen the picture of the man holding the newspaper where the top headline screamed ‘Dewey Beats Truman?’” Again more blank stares.
So, I asked how many had ever seen ‘Cheers’; it’s been in syndication for umpteen years now, right? None of the students had seen the show. (I felt ancient.)
Then I give them an abbreviated history lesson/ethical journalism speech on the embarrassing headline and I swear, a boy in the front row asked, “So, who were these guys? Boxers?”
They had never heard of Harry S Truman, nor for that matter, any president after Lincoln and before Reagan. How frightening!!!
I feel so ashamed. I don’t know a lot of these! Then again, I’m only 15, and a lot of these are old-time celebrities.
I don’t have many stories, except that when I was in 7th grade, one girl in my History class didn’t know that Hitler was dead (but I suppose it’s better than not knowing who Hitler IS.) And there are at least a few people who think that Hitler and Saddam Hussein are the same person.
Just for the record, I’ve known the following things since 3rd grade:
- The number of planets
- The names of all the planets, in order
- The approximate size of the planets
- Where the Asteroid belt is
- That the Earth revolves around the sun (my god, that ignorance is just unbelievable), and that the sun is millions of times bigger than the moon
I’ll post more stories when I think of them.
I know that is an old joke, but something similar actually happened in one of my middle school health classes. A girl asked if semen was sweet. The teacher’s answer was some joke about never hearing about any scientifc studies on the subject.
A girl I know was once woried she would get pregnant from swallowing semen (she was a junior in high school).
I just thought of another one. My 8th grade health teacher’s husband was a doctor. He once had a patient that didn’t know what testicles meant. The doctor had to say “balls” to make him understand.
My sister’s friend’s girlfriend recently related a story about how as a child she almost went blind (due to illness I believe?) and her mother was worried she’d have to learn sign language if she did.
When asked if she had meant that she had almost went “deaf”, she repeated quite firmly that no, she almost went blind, hence the need for sign language.
She says this to my sister, who she knows teaches sign language to deaf children.
:rolleyes:
yeesh
I’ve got some fun ones.
My best friend’s roommate freshman year calmly informed Beth that she was reading a great book that “takes place in the time of the knights and pilgrims.” [This at least conjures the amusing mental image of armor clad men riding steeds off the Mayflower, but still . . .]
Same year, I was in an education class with a practicum. I was in a second grade classroom with a student teacher from another college. She had developed a unit on clouds. During the “science” section, she told the class all about “circus” (cirrus) clouds, and then proceeded to read them the children’s book “It Looked Like ‘Split’ (Spilt) Milk” without finding it at all odd. At least the real teacher noticed that one. She didn’t seem to see anything wrong with the circus clouds.
Or in some state, anyway. It’s shocking how many Americans don’t know that it’s a city surrounded by states but isn’t part of any of them.
On the other hand, it’s shocking how many East Coast Americans think San Francisco is right next to L.A.
and
(Emphasis mine)
Uh, folks, I think the word you’re looking for here is suffrage, no ‘e’. Although ‘sufferage’ isn’t a word, if it were it seems like it’d have to refer to a noun form of ‘suffer.’
For my $1/50 on the OP, I have a co-worker who until just recently had no idea that pickles and cucumbers are the same object, just in different forms. And for what it’s worth, ex-football great Conrad Dobler admits the same thing in a recent issue of Esquire magazine.
- Dave
Well gee, that’s easy. I mean, they both…I’m sorry. I can’t think of anything to say here.
My contribution? Several years ago I worked the midnight shift in a gas station. A pretty Southern girl pulled up, walked inside, and asked her if I could show her how to pump gas. She said (and it was obvious that she was serious) that she had never done it before herself. The kicker? She was 26 years old, and had a Master’s of Library Science degree. She had just bought this brand-new car and driven it all the way from southern Kentucky to my station on the full tank it had when she got it. She had coasted in on fumes.
I had to explain once to a guy I went to high school with that he, nor any man, had a uterus.
Ignorance about birth control and basic anatomy continue to amaze me.
A lot of people have no idea that Delaware is a state. (Or a well formulated conspiracy that people believe is a state.)
While I have no tales of ignorance that could top anything here, I just have to wonder what gems darken the desktop of our Unca Cecil? I mean, we get to see the ones that He gets that are worth answering. I would love to hear some of the more stupid questions submitted to him…
Or perhaps not. It might just be a little too depressing to know just how really stupid people can be. This would go a long way in explaining why Cece always seems so damned cranky.
:kisses pinky and swears:
I used to surveys for a market research firm. It always amused me when I got to the demographics portion of the survey when I would ask what county my respondent was in and they said, “I don’t know. The county line runs right through the middle of my living room.” I usually asked what side of the county line the phone they were currently talking on was on. This is surprisingly common in rural areas.The surveyors do their bit, the border is drawn, and lo, there’s a house straddling it. A bit off topic, but if you find yourself talking to a person who doesn’t know what county they live in, it might not necessarily be do to mind-boggling ignorance.
What really shocked me was when I would get someone who would ask, “County? What’s that?” Which would be halfway understandable if they were in Louisiana, where they have parishes instead of counties, but this phenomenon occurs all over the South.
Just a few things, I didn’t know that Lincoln was the 16th President of USA, I have never heard of the interenational house of pancakes, and I thought that Washington DC was in Washington. I blame that on not being >american. It is all relative to where they grew up.
However I met a guy in Stockholm who spent 10 years in Lebanon and 10 years in Australia, Just to show that he is not totally ignorant of geography. We were talking to a girl from Brussels, and someone mentioned a desire to see Belgium. This guy then asked if Belgium was the capital of Luxembourg. We all laughed at him. A bit rude I know, but the thing is if he had heard of the names, and followed the conversation, he wouldn’t have made the mistake. Just pay attention! (oooh, should point out he spoke the language fluently)
In the recent referendum in Australia (whether to become a full republic) there were lots of people who believed that if we changed the constitution, we would have to change the national flag and anthem. Both the flag and anthem came a lot longer after the constitution and have nothing to do with it.
Yep…
I will never forget a biblethumper I had in a Religious Studies seminar class (Paul and his contemporaries was da topic)… She was MAD (and I mean snappin’ turtle mad) at the prof when he asked us all which version of the bible we were using. There was only ONE version, you see. The only true word of God. King James’. The rest of us were reading the lies of Satan. The bible could never be written in any other language than English. She was also convinced that the bible was written by God. Yep, you hear me, he/she/it held the pen him/her/itself and wrote it down. With the correct punctuation. Cuz even THAT is holy.
Same student argued that good ol’ JC was christian. He could not be a (quote) “Stinking Jew.”
Oh, we had fun with her… especially when we talked about other faiths… Seems like we are all going straight to hell in a handbasket, fast.
Ugh! Way up there with my student who wrote me an entire paper on the statues of Herpes (instead of Hermes)…
Elenfair
Was watching a documentary at university when it was noted (by the actions a suckling calf) that elephants mammary glands are located between their front legs. One of the female members of the tutorial group asked me if there were any other mammals similarly “built”. I suggested she look carefully in a mirror next time.
Have won bets with several U.S. visitors over the fact that water goes down the plug hole the opposite way in Australia or anywhere else in the southern hemisphere.
Was stunned at the difficulty some of the clerical staff were having with negative numbers. Tried this test …
Q. Which is the largest number 18 or 13?
Q. Take 10 from both numbers, which is the largest 8 or 3?
Q. Take 11 from both numbers, which is the largest -3 or -8?
Over 50% of the clerical staff thought that -8 was larger than -3, even after asking them which number they’d prefer in their bank account.
Back when I was graduating high school, was on a trip with 80 other students from the same school. My roomie, “Shellie” was going to leave MI and go to Florida to college. She told me her intention was to keep her voter registration in MI, but also to register in Florida, so she could participate in local elections both places.
She was amazed when I told her you were only allowed to vote in one place.
I was once asked this by a young woman who worked in the shipping department of a small company.
The same person once asked me for the year of my birth and when I said 1940, asked what branch of the service I was in during World War II. She also believed that a synthetic diamond was superior in quality and therefore more desireable than a “regular” diamond—because her boyfriend said so–he knew this because he had not only “been to college” but had been a member of a sorority while there.
I swear and attest that the foregoing is absolutely true.
Why, isn’t it obvious? You must have been in the infantry! 