OMG, my husband must be a bigamist! [/thread drift]
If “thread drift” has come up before, I never noticed it. This is so much more of a charitable term than “hijack” for the effect. May I use this in the future? I’ll give you credit if you like.
Exactly, except for me the last part is the opposite. As I become more mindful of my own frailty I tend to be more patient with others!
That’s a sig line looking for a Doper!
Band name.
I have a terrible time explaining to clients about complicated problems (I am a veterinarian) when the client seems to be making no effort to understand. It is frustration, on my part that sometimes leads to me giving up. I try to simplify my explanation and they say, “I don’t understand”. I then ask, “what specifically don’t you understand?”. Sometimes it turns out that they just stop listening at the first utterance of a word/concept that they don’t get.
I end up after several attempts just giving them a handout on the topic, which I realize they won’t/can’t read.
Oh, and I love the user name: Carson O’Genic. Any chance you will be staying around?
What a fantastic description!
I think this is the crux of the problem with intelligent people getting frustrated with explaining a concept to a novice. It’s not always that they’re a jackass (though some are because they don’t want to have to go to the trouble to explain something “basic”), but perhaps it’s hard for them to slow down enough to explain well.
Of course, there are a lot of people who think they’re truly intelligent when they are not. I’d rather deal with an intelligent jackass.
And as a side note, I’ve noticed that the intelligent people I’ve met generally feel dumber the more they know while people who aren’t intelligent but think they are have an inflated sense of their brain power. I’m not sure if this is the exception or the rule.
I think this goes to the other side of “a little knowledge is a dangerous thing” – mainly, that a lot of knowledge is a humbling thing. There seems to come a point in one’s life when one’s accumulated knowledge and experience eventually allows them to realize just how much there is that they don’t know, especially on subjects that they once thought they had a pretty good handle on when they decided they knew everything they needed to know about them.
See, with me, I have come to recognize the speed at which time seems to fly with my advancing age, and that has given everything a slightly heightened sense of urgency – the feeling that I just don’t have time to deal with people who have no apparent interest in educating themselves when teaching them is peripheral (if even relevant) to what I’m doing. I think that this, in itself, has been drawn from years of experience in dealing with people who can’t seem to read or follow simple directions.
As a basic example, I used to run a message-only BBS back in the 80s. The new user application clearly stated this: Message-only. No downloads. So how many people do you think paged me to chat only to ask me why they don’t have access to the file area? Yeah, about every other one. It didn’t matter if the first words in the new user app explained this. People just. didn’t. read. Get exposed to that – and similar ignorant shenanigans for a couple of decades, and it tends to wear down one’s patience. 
Is this going to be on the final?
(My nomination for the clearest example of lack of intellectual curiosity)
MoodIndigo1: My husband has been out at night alot this week. He isn’t keeping dual households is he? Are you plagued by random placement of socks? Is he capable of going to a store for 5 items (written down) and coming back with more than 2 correct items? Does he suffer from male pattern blindness? (Inability to find something right in front of him) We may found out his little secret!
Oh, this I completely agree with. I was referring to people who are supposed to be engaged and learning. When my co-worker asks about something and then glazes over, man, that pisses me off.
Oh, if someone I’m trying to edumacate or explain something to actually shows an interest in learning, I’ll drum up the patience of a saint and draw half a million similes to put a difficult concept into a familiar context if I have to. If someone really wants to know, and I can teach them, I’m only too happy to do so. I have great respect for anyone that wants to learn – and not just because, as Auntbeast pointed out, it may be on a test. I love nothing more than getting into a situation where one question spawns another, and then another, and you end up covering a lot of ground.
When all you get are blank stares or noncommittal non-responses or whathaveyou, well… that just pisses me off.
I realized, far too late, that I knew what you did for a living from prior threads in which you’ve participated. But I must have read this portion of your post about five times, scratching my head and repeating, “WTF table is she talking about?!?!” before I finally read on and saw the last two sentences quoted above.
Thanks for the response(s). Some previously unconsidered aspects have been revealed.
Staggerlee,agreed that intellect and social skills aren’t hand in hand.
Mindfield, I know whatcha mean about older and less patient. And the contempt for ignorance you cite likely has its antipode of “eggheadedness”,anti-intellectualism.
tdn, Gotcha ya.Couldn’t resist,right?Post #10 sounds more like deliberate obfuscation,and your PL was capitalising on your weakened position.
tschild, Arrogance to non-English speakers is unforgiveable in my book,since they are using at least two languages,albeit poorly for the non-native tongue. There really are impasses though,if you can’t use sign language. Your case #3 reminds me of interactions with my teenager.
Auntbeast,married versions of the OP are a whole 'nother dynamic!Liked the *crickets chirp* bit.
Pochacco, “Most people are crap at explaining things”. The very nub.
QtM, I quibble only with “…diffficult to get up to speed…”. The individuals who come to mind are very fast on their feet and that seems to bolster their arrogance.
Overlyverbose, Having known some intellectually arrogant over a period of 20 years,there are instances of wisdom mellowing their interactions. But since the OP concerns snapshot assessments,no comment on exceptions vs. rule.
Jodi,“I failed to communicate effectively enough to be understood.” Usually where the problem lies.
Vetbridge, your field,which requires specific and lengthy education,is likely daunting for many who simply won’t have time/inclination for even cursory understanding,and no further use for the info once a crisis passes.I’m afraid you just have to keep polishing your “bedside manner”! Thanks for the appreciation of aptonym or apercu,not sure which at this point. Longevity is pending diagnosis.
A stripper?
Absolutely it does – though I find anti-intellectualism more prevalent in teens, where the intelligence of kids (usually the easy targets for bullies) in the advanced classes is used as a point of attack for the kids in regular or remedial classes. (And contrary to the pit thread about “acting white,” this is pretty universal. I had plenty experience being on the receiving end of that in junior high and above, and my bullies were all as white as me.)
There is a difference between people not getting what you’re saying, and people deliberately missing your point to undermine or avoid it. I learned over years as a teacher, that if the bulk of the kids don’t get it, it’s very likely my fault. I went from teaching 12th graders to 7th graders and had to learn how to explain myself more clearly and more on their level.
Some of them still don’t get it because it’s still over their heads, and then they need remediation. Some of them “don’t get it” because they think not getting it will excuse them from doing work. That is when I get aggravated, because they are certainly intellectually capable of grasping, let’s say, when a paper is due, but think they can get away with turning it in late if they claim I wasn’t clear.
When adults do it, it manifests as Auntbeast described, playing dumb, or avoiding direct questions/requests. It feels like a passive-aggressive manipulation, which often it is. Rarely, if ever, is it a question of someone being intelligent and someone else being dumb.