Arrogant Freeloading "Information" Seeking Asshats!

[ivn1188]

Ok, I’ll do it. mswas: you are a fucking moron. You are dumber than the fungus growing on the underside of the droppings crapped out by a retarded lion who ate a developmentally disabled antelope that fed on some sort of idiocy-causing grass that was fertilized by the dung of the lion’s mother, who was also his aunt.

But at least you’re smarter than Fotheringay-Phipps.

Still, your failure to be able to understand that your vast experience as a massage therapist (which seems to me to be about as useful in this situation as tits on a motorcycle) might not make you the best person to understand the problem here is an inexcusable display of both arrogance and inanity.

Every single one of your little snarky remarks about how you feel so bad for the poor lawyers completely misses the point. Furthermore, your exceedingly original commentary has in fact been addressed, at this point, literally hundreds of times during this ongoing epic. I am not going to call you a troll, because I have respect for someone who is smart enough to get a crowd riled up by posting stupid things they don’t believe and yet maintain the fine line between someone who can be easily dismissed as a fake and a rational, thoughtful commentator.

You are not that capable. Instead, you just fail. You epically fail. To be honest, I wasn’t expecting much from someone who took the time and effort to get certified to give foot rubs, but hey, at least I’m not claiming I know more about touching some stranger’s hairy back than you do.

So here I am, telling you just how much I don’t care about your opinion, or your retarded little handwave about how it’s so easy to disclaim any responsibility. I am simply and straightforwardly stating that you are one of those idiots that doesn’t know how foolish they are, and that I can only hope that someday you wake up and think to yourself “Hey, maybe I’m not the best lawyer in the fucking world”.

Until then, I guess you’ll have to settle for being a fuckstick.

And yes, that’s my professional opinion.

[Jodi]

@Fotheringay-Phipps

I don’t actually believe this.

But I do think if there was any reasonable risk that such a thing might actually happen, it would probably have actually happened by now.

Ha ha ha! Right. What with message boards and the internet being such long-standing complicating factors. In fact, I believe the web was formerly referred to as “Ye Olde Intarweb”, or “The Information Cartpath”, back when John Adams was practicing law.

There’s a logical fallacy in “if it hasn’t happened yet, it won’t happen,” especially in an evolving, non-static system, and statistics won’t save you from it. But thanks for the laugh.

[VinylTurnip]

ivn1188, God damn it if I don’t like you more and more each day.

[Tenebras]

@Fotheringay-Phipps

I don’t know if anyone ever questioned that a non-lawyer offering specific legal advice over the internet is performing unauthorized practice of law. Certainly I didn’t.

I’m sorry, I must have misunderstood. There was that whole thread about whether giving specific information about a person’s legal situation constituted legal advice. I just assumed that since you posted in it, you must have read some of it.

My point was that this guy got sued because he had a website that promised people “free legal advice”, which naturally attracted attention from the authorities, since this is exactly what he was not allowed to do (and what he, in his defense, had to deny actually doing). (The fact that he was generally opposed to lawyers as a class probably didn’t help him either.) That’s not the same thing - in terms of likelihood of being sued, if not legally - as a guy who offers advice in a more informal setting, with a disclaimer.

Do you think that the disclaimer is magic? Like a big condom you can just climb right into and be safe from both lawsuits and herpes?

Palmer successfully defended himself because his accusers were unable to prove that he offered specific information tailored to individuals. The explanation of the ruling explicitly says that if he had offered such information, he would have lost the suit. In other words: if you give people specific information about their legal troubles, even on the internet, that’s practicing law.

The point of all these restrictions on doctors and lawyers and accountants giving out advice isn’t to protect the doctors and lawyers and accountants so much as to protect the public. Essentially these restrictions boil down to saying that those professionals are “always on.”

This is good for the public because it means they don’t have to try to guess when the information they’re getting is good or bad. If a lawyer is giving them legal advice, they can assume that the lawyer is doing his or her damnedest to make sure that advice is correct.

The alternative is to have some sort of semi-mystical “lawyer hat.” The problem is that, after the bad or ill-considered advice has been acted on, the guy who did the shoddy lawyering says “oh no, that wasn’t my lawyer hat! I was just wearing a hat at the office that day. Official lawyer hats have 9-pointed stars, not 10-pointed stars like my screw-the-public hat. Can someone pass me the single-malt?” What are you going to do then?

[mswas]

@Enderw24

Why do you confuse sexy time with prostitution? Is your sister number four prostitute in all of Kazakhstan?

Because they are asking me professional advice about sex which if I gave it under my professional aegis I could be sued and lose my license. ;p

[mswas]

@ivn1188

Ok, I’ll do it. mswas: you are a fucking moron. You are dumber than the fungus growing on the underside of the droppings crapped out by a retarded lion who ate a developmentally disabled antelope that fed on some sort of idiocy-causing grass that was fertilized by the dung of the lion’s mother, who was also his aunt.

Very creative, but since I’m not the one being whooshed here I’ll have to invoke Rubber v Glue 1948.

It’s just funny that all the lawyers telling me I am stupid are asking me questions I could be sued and lose my license for while they tell me it’s not the same at all. Oh the irony, it burns.

[mswas]

@Kimmy_Gibbler

Someone having sexytime with his (or her! we live in enlightened times, after all) special lady is not prostitution. Well, unless the special lady is a whore. On behalf of my friends who do that sort of thing (sexytime with ladies, not hiring prostitutes), I rather resent the insinuation.

You are asking my ‘professional’ advice about sexy time, so you are inferring that I am a whore.

Also, some people incorporate massage into their sexytime, so I thought you might have some wisdom to share. I didn’t know you were going to get all Mordant Masseur Mofo on me just for asking a simple question.

Well I am just sticking with the tenor of the thread and avoiding questions I could get sued for and lose my license over. ;p

[Kimmy_Gibbler]

@mswas

You are asking my ‘professional’ advice about sexy time, so you are inferring that I am a whore.

I’m pretty sure if a john paid a whore and all they did was talk about sexytimes, he’d be pretty disappointed.

I’m also pretty sure you can’t lose your massage license just for advising people about sexytimes. Can you cite some case law please?

[ivn1188]

@VinylTurnip

ivn1188, God damn it if I don’t like you more and more each day.

I grow on people. Like chlamydia.

• raising the level of discourse on the internets since 1993 -

[not_alice]

@mswas

LOL, I’m in New York as well. The popping noises could be many things. It could be like the cracking of knuckles (reseating bones in the joint), or just as likely it was the release of myofascial adhesions, this is where the fascia and the muscle get stuck together, either via chemical deposits that bind them or via the tissues just growing into one another. Either one might relieve tensions. I’d generally caution you about trying to achieve the popping noise as a result, but go to down on giving her a foot massage. If you both wanted to come see me I could give you a quick lesson in a foot massage. I’m in Inwood.

See, that’s the thing - ISTR, possibly from Unca Cece himself, that popping of knuckles is not reseating bones in a joint (whatever that means) but rather a bubble extending and bursting in the fluid in the joints.

Hope no one loses body part function ever as a result of your glib advice here…

[mswas]

@Kimmy_Gibbler

I’m pretty sure if a john paid a whore and all they did was talk about sexytimes, he’d be pretty disappointed.

I’m also pretty sure you can’t lose your massage license just for advising people about sexytimes. Can you cite some case law please?

I can if I do it as a professional massage therapist. It falls under basic ethics, and no I’m not a lawyer I can’t cite case law, all I have to go by is the ethics classes I had to take in order to graduate and get my license. Crossing the boundary between sexual and myofascial aspects is the biggest taboo in my profession. The organization that I get my 6 million dollars worth of malpractice insurance from vigorously pursues and shuts down rub and tug parlours all the time. If we were in a thread about ‘Makin’ sexay time wit’ da ladies’ and you asked a question about particular oils I could make a suggestion, but if you are speaking to me as a member of my profession, I can get in trouble for it. My scope of practice regards myofascial manipulation and myofascial manipulation alone. If you have tennis elbow, you come to me, professionally, if you want to know about various sex enhancements you go to a sex shop.

[mswas]

@not_alice

See, that’s the thing - ISTR, possibly from Unca Cece himself, that popping of knuckles is not reseating bones in a joint (whatever that means) but rather a bubble extending and bursting in the fluid in the joints.

It depends, joints DO get out of alignment. Yes, gases releasing from joints are part of the noise, but that doesn’t mean bones don’t get out of alignment.

Hope no one loses body part function ever as a result of your glib advice here…

Since I cautioned him against trying to adjust the joints, somehow I doubt he’s going to get hurt because of my advice.

[not_alice]

@mswas

For instance for an LMT, you are allowed to make a PROGNOSIS but not a DIAGNOSIS. This is easy to handle, “Well your wrist pain could be carpal tunnel, Do you use a computer or play an instrument or do anything that relies on a lot of wrist movements? Yes? Well then carpal tunnel is likely, but I am not a doctor so this isn’t a diagnosis. I’d recommend seeing a Doctor to make sure it’s carpal tunnel, if it is, there are things I can do to treat that.”

Uh, prognosis doesn’t mean what you think it means.

There is no prognosis in that paragraph at all.

[mswas]

@not_alice

Uh, prognosis doesn’t mean what you think it means.

There is no prognosis in that paragraph at all.

Ok fair enough, but what I am not allowed to make is a diagnosis, which I did not do.

[Kimmy_Gibbler]

@mswas

I can if I do it as a professional massage therapist. It falls under basic ethics, and no I’m not a lawyer I can’t cite case law, all I have to go by is the ethics classes I had to take in order to graduate and get my license.

Sorry, but I’m not convinced. It takes more than “I have education and familiarity with the ethical canons of my profession” to dislodge my preconceptions. I’m a pretty smart guy and a voracious reader of the intahrnetz, mswas, so if something doesn’t confirm to my worldview, I would have heard about it by now.

Why can’t you just admit that these ethical rules are just part of your profession’s conspiracy against the laity and designed to keep us from having a good time? Why do only people who can afford to fly to Thailand or Nevada get to have hos?

Finally, there has to be a reason that there’s this pop culture meme out there of masseuse = professional handjobber; it didn’t just come out of nowhere. If masseuses were so ethical, there wouldn’t be so many happy-ending jokes, would there?

[mswas]

@Kimmy_Gibbler

Sorry, but I’m not convinced. It takes more than “I have education and familiarity with the ethical canons of my profession” to dislodge my preconceptions. I’m a pretty smart guy and a voracious reader of the intahrnetz, mswas, so if something doesn’t confirm to my worldview, I would have heard about it by now.

:rolleyes:

Why can’t you just admit that these ethical rules are just part of your profession’s conspiracy against the laity and designed to keep us from having a good time? Why do only people who can afford to fly to Thailand or Nevada get to have hos?

It is a conspiracy I freely admit it.

Finally, there has to be a reason that there’s this pop culture meme out there of masseuse = professional handjobber; it didn’t just come out of nowhere. If masseuses were so ethical, there wouldn’t be so many happy-ending jokes, would there?

Yea, I know where it comes from. Doesn’t bother me much, it drives some people in my profession apoplectic and they would be deeply offended by your jokes. I’m just using your joke to be able to point out the limitations of my profession. You won’t get a rub and a tug from an LMT, that’s a sure way to lose your license. An unlicensed prostitute doesn’t have that problem.

For a smart lawyer you seem to have an awful lot of trouble understanding the difference between someone licensed by the state of New York and a FOB asian lady who doesn’t even have a work visa let alone a professional license.

Here is from one professional association. Associated Bodywork and Massage Professionals

ABMP's Code of Ethics for Massage Therapists

[ul]
[li]I shall in no way instigate or tolerate any kind of sexual advance while acting in the capacity of a massage, bodywork, somatic therapy or esthetic practitioner.[/li]
[li]I shall not be affiliated with or employed by any business that utilizes any form of sexual suggestiveness or explicit sexuality in its advertising or promotion of services, or in the actual practice of its services.[/li][/ul]

[mswas]

Here is information on the professional requirements to become an LMT in various states in the US.

Error Notification | AMTA

[Rumor_Watkins]

I don’t actually believe this.

But I do think if there was any reasonable risk that such a thing might actually happen, it would probably have actually happened by now.

You, sir, have a very, very poor understanding of stare decisis and case law reporting.

[not_alice]

@mswas

Why do you keep asking me questions about prostitution? What does sex have to do with Massage?

Kimmy_Gibbler asked you a question about which would be your preferred oil for massage, in your professional opinion, not about sex.

See why you are not the one that works with words for a living? You missed the point of this very simple question about massage techniques and made it into a legal one and got defensive.

Now imagine what Stoid could do with anything anyone might say about her case here.

[mswas]

@not_alice

Kimmy_Gibbler asked you a question about which would be your preferred oil for massage, in your professional opinion, not about sex.

Are you serious?

See why you are not the one that works with words for a living? You missed the point of this very simple question about massage techniques and made it into a legal one and got defensive.

I can see why you’re not, or at least if you are, why you shouldn’t be. I didn’t get defensive I supported my original point. He didn’t ask about massage techniques at all, he asked about oils to enhance his sexual experience with his lady.

If you want to know what kind of oil I use in my practice, Jojoba oil.