[Preface: I have a law degree from an accredited law school. (Finished 32 of 128, after semester 1, I was 5 out of 168.) About half way through I became very sickened with the profession. I now handle bankruptcies and foreclosures for regional bank. I deal a lot with laywers - the ones that we pay to represent us, the guys in corporate legal, and the attorneys that we are on the other side of the v. of. I know there are “good” lawyers out there, I just see way too many that in over their heads, that are in it for the money, etc. There are many lawyers on this board, and this is not directed towards any of them in particular.]
Incident #1 - While clerking, the attorney I was working for took a case involving who was to be the heir under an armed forces life insurance policy. The law was very clear - not only statutes, but case law that supported the client. The attorney I worked for had a military background and knew this. He could have taken the case on an hourly basis or a percentage. He encouraged the client (a 73 year old woman) to take the contingency deal. He then gave me the facts and asked me to write a motion and supporting brief. It took me 2 hours. I was being paid $10/hour (billed out at $75, BTW). We won on summary judgment. Attorney’s total time = Less than 3 hours. Attorney’s take = $30,000.00. His take on an hourly basis? Less than $1500. (My take = $20, fee sharing is illegal because the lawyers make the rules.)
Incident #2 - A debtor has filed a chapter 7 BK - his client is about 7 payments delinquent on his new house. I’m willing to cure the delinquency and let the client keep his house, but I’d like the debtor to reaffirm the debt. The attorney calls me and asks me (as far as he knows just a guy at the bank - I don’t advertise to adversary attorneys that I have a degree) what the consequences of reaffirming are. Um, hello, dumbass, this isn’t some intricate detail of law! Christ, look in the fucking legal dictionary behind you. I could tell you, but it’s $175 per hour.
Incident #3 - A chapter 13 BK. We file our proof of claim. It consists of two parts, a Total claim (what it would take to pay the debt off at the time the filing) and an Arrearage Claim (the amount the debtor is past due when they file). In this case the total was about $30k and the arrearage around $6k. The debtor’s plan (as is common) called for the arrearage to be paid through the trustee and the post-petition payments to be made directly by the debtor to the bank. The fucking dumbass attorney objected to our claim because “the arrearage claim was included in the total cliam.” Well, yeah, shithead, if you’re planning on paying the whole thing off it will obviously include the delinquent payments. He also advised his client not to make the post petition payments. He even called me and told me I was wrong!!! Case was dismissed two weeks later, and his client is out cash because she had to find a lawyer who knew what the fuck he was talking about.
Incident #4 - An attorney representing us (there’s a “region” in our bank that the head honcho insists on assigning who will be the lawyer - hey, what the hell, he gets free dinner and golf from them once in a while!) - The debtor’s attorney sends me a letter asking for the amount required to pay the loan off by such and such a date. In order to quote this figure I need to know what the legal fees/costs will be through then. So I send our attorney a fax requesting the amount of fees/costs and set the file aside. Two weeks later the debtors attorney sends me a letter, bitching that he never got the payoff (and threatening a countersuit for our refusal to cooperate with his clients right to redeem - we honestly didn’t send the payoff quote to him because I didn’t get the fee quote back). I get on the phone to our attorney, who was copied on the letter and ask him again for the fees, reminding him that I asked for them two weeks ago. He says, “yeah, I have your fax asking for the fees, and I’m sure I sent them to you.” (Why he doesn’t have a copy of his fax back to me, I don’t know.) It ends up OK, though. But…our attorney calls me back and has the gall to say “boy, I saved you on that one.” To which I reply, “Well, it obviously slipped through the cracks, but it looks like it was your crack.” He won’t be getting anymore cases.
Incident #5 - Again, one of our attorneys. I almost cracked on this one. He was handling a foreclosure for us. The debtor filed a chapter 13 BK. I called his office for fees/costs to include in our proof of claim. An hour later I got a fax with the fees/costs. No problem, I filed the proof of claim. Two days later I get a message from someone in his office to send them the delinquency figures so they can file the proof of claim (a simple form I can complete in less than 15 minutes, but the attorneys charge me $75 if they - or rather, their assistants - do it). So I call them up and say, “it’s okay, I can handle the proof of claim, thanks.” Today, I walk into the office and there’s a bill from this idiot for a Motion for Relief from Stay that this jackass filed. No one from the bank (his client) told him to do this. It’s also less than 30 days since the debtor filed. BK judges are very “fair” minded when it comes to the debtor (and rightfully so, IMO), and want to give the filer a chance. They don’t appreciate lenders trying to get out of a chapter 13 (if their debt is included in the plan - ours was) until the debtor defaults on the plan. I called our attorney and told him to close his file on this case and forward it to me. And if he ever files a motion without the bank’s instruction again he can cross us off his client list (and his Martindale-Hubble client list as well). Fucker! Now I have to spend more money to withdraw the motion.
My last gripe on lawyers (for now) – I constantly see attorneys on the board who refuse to answer legal questions (under the pretense that they will some how become liable to the poster based on their response. Bullshit! You have no attorney/client relationship here, you have every right to voice your opinion based on a fact pattern, and so long as you preface your response accordingly you will not be held liable. Find me a case that shows otherwise.) No, instead they tell you to go see a lawyer over very simple matters. “Oh, you got a $15 parking ticket under these circumstances. Well, I could give you my opinion, but it would be robbing one of my brethren $250, so I suggest you call an attorney.”