An ad for an indigestion drug shows a forkful of spaghetti bolognese whipping around of its own volition and spitefully slapping the face of the woman who’s trying to eat it. The disclaimer that ran in tiny type at the bottom of the ad: “Dramatization.”
No s–t, really?! Seriously, in all of America is there even one sad, deluded freak who otherwise would think to himself, “Hey, my food slaps me in the face too! Finally, a product that’s right for me!”
A car commercial shows a sedan calmly, slowly, and legally driving around San Francisco, and stopping at a red light. The disclaimer in tiny type: “Do Not Attempt.”
What? I should not attempt to drive around San Fran like a ordinary person? Is it really that much of a deathtrap?
At the other extreme of car commercials, Fiat shows its cars driving into the sea in Italy, then driving up on the shores of New York City. The disclaimer: You guessed it, “Do Not Attempt.”
All together now: Really? Fiat drivers of the Dope, would you really otherwise have thought that you could drive your adorkable little peanut cars five thousand miles across the bottom of the ocean?
I’m a lawyer, and I know why they include these, but I still think they’re deserving of mockery. Any other dumb disclaimers that you’ve seen?
They’re done that way for comedy. Otherwise they’d all just say something dull like ‘dramatization’. As I recall in the Pepsi Harrier Jump Jet case the plaintiff lost because the offer was obviously humorous. That probably means they don’t have to say anything at all for the these absurd presentations.
ISTM there’s a web site (or several) containing a compendium of idiotic disclaimers in ads (TV and print). Does somebody here know that site? Link anyone?
One of my pet peeves is: “Keep away from fire”.
On a child´s sweater… Thanksalot, dudes! If you hadn´t written that, I would have thought it was OK for my then 4-year old son to play in the fire place.
Found on plastic bags everywhere - “This bag is not a toy.” That’s just sad, really - it always makes me imagine households where a plastic bag is considered a toy.
My parrot loves plastic grocery bags. If I put him on the floor with one, he’ll tug it around, rub against it, and run in and out of it. I figure his nose-holes are tiny enough that he won’t suffocate him in it, and I don’t leave him unsupervised.
But yes, more generally I think that one qualifies.
The real sad part is knowing that for every idiot warning on a product, there was probably some idiot out there who did what is (now) being warned against before the warning went on, got injured, and successfully sued the manufacturer for “failure to warn”.
I think that was on Saturday Night Live. “May result in the condition known as hot dog fingers.”
Also agreed about the drug disclaimers. You hear the long list of those possible side effects, you wonder why anybody would “ask your doctor if Feelzbetterazine is right for you!”
In magazines it’s even better, because the drug companies have to buy three full pages just to fit in all the required disclaimers and warnings. And then they pass the savings on to you!
Why can’t a political candidate who narrates his own commercial end it with “I’m (name), and I’d appreciate your vote”. Isn’t it implied that he approves of his own fucking message?
