Have you ever served a Big Whig Celebrity and didn’t recognize them. Either because of major bloatedness/they’ve dropped that far off the radar/surgery/whatever?
Have you ever spilled a drink on someone?
Do you have a favorite gig you like to do or one you look fondly back upon?
Not a question, but I have to chime in with my agreement. I met Clinton this last summer and he is simply breathtaking. Like you said: tall, big hands (soft, too), gorgeous eyes. I was just stunned by how attractive he is (I mean, the guy is older then my dad). He totally looked down my shirt 
I’m shocked in a claude rains kinda way!
Sorry, Sampiro, for answering this one sooner (I’m a little out of sequence here). BTW, I always seem to very interested in your posts, so thank you.
You know, I’m thinking there must be some closted celebrities I’ve spotted and wondered about, but darnit, I just can’t think of one. That said, the two who get most rumored about, Tom Cruise and John Travolta I encountered at the same party: Cruise’s 40th birthday party, and I wasn’t around either often enough to get a real feel or notice anything peculiar about them. But Cruise looks really, really young. I don’t mean like wrinkles and stuff, but just his aura is sort of like a kid, like he just walked off the set of Risky Business or All the Right Moves. Now, he was wearing braces at the time, but still, he seemed so different, so non-movie star like. The party was a little strange because it was heavily attended by Scientologists and it seemed like Cruise embraces them publicly, but maybe, just maybe, would like to avoid them but can’t. As for the gay stuff, I’ll only say this: Penolope Cruise was absolutely ga-ga about him at the party, going off on the microphone about how much she loved him to the point of tears. No acting, she really meant it. And of course, they’re no longer together. Travolta was not doing so well with his wife, Kelly Preston and she seemed to be very, um, what’s the word for this… gossipy about it. No, not gossipy, but she was very animated that she was bugged about something with him. John came in for maybe five minutes, left, gave me a very polite smile on the way out, and that was it. And, of course, he and Preston are still together.
Penelope Cruise looks much better dressed down (like she did in “Vanilla Sky”) than dressed up, BTW. Her natural look is her best, by far.
The wedding for Peri Gilpin (Roz from “Frasier,”), which took place at the home of Kelsey Grammar, had tons of guys dancing with each other, but I never recognized any of them as closted celebrities (David Hyde Pierce I gather is “out” although I did not see him dancing). Final footnote on that: Grammar did not attend because he felt he could not be at an event with alcohol being served for fear of falling off he wagon.
Heavy smokers: Gillian Anderson, Jon Stewart (like a chimney), Nick Nolte. Jennifer Aniston smokes fairly heavily I thought, as did Lisa Kudrow.
Tippers: Since all the events I’ve worked were open bar, I can’t really tell who the tippers were. BUT, in the six years of bartending these events, only THREE celebrities have ever tipped me:
Steve Van Zant: $20, just for the heck of it, on his way out the Sopranos’ Emmy Party, 1999 (where I met my wife);
Patricia Arquette: $10 for a scotch on the rocks at a fashion show fundraiser at Sherry Lansing’s house, because we made special eye contact;
Jimmy “J.J.” Walker, for a soda, just because he’s a good, decent person. He even went back to his wife to get change for a $20 so he could do it. Everyone else: stiffarino.
Just out of curiousity, about how tall is she? To me, she seemed no taller than about 5’4" but then I read somewhere she’s actually around 5’8" or 5’9". Was my first assumption right or does she just seem to come across as shorter on screen?
c’mon, moon you never answered my question. What do these people drink? Did Jennifer Anniston want a merlot, a glass of champagne, a budweiser maybe?
I’d think Dennis Miller would want a 7 and 7.
Sorry, I have to back that up too. I met Bill Clinton and I was just awestruck by his size and proportions. That didn’t seem to translate well at all to TV. I am surprised that was rarely mentioned in print when describing him.
Question-at the Titanic party, did you meet the cast? What were they like? (Especially Billy Zane and Kate Winslet?) Was Cameron really a dick?
Have you ever met Ewan McGregor?
Two other circumstances that stick out:
Ving Rhames was very sweet, very low-key, seemed uncomfortable at the Hollywood party, preferring to sit along by himself on a couch when everybody else was outside doing Hollywood stuff. I was feeling sorta goofy that night and when he walked by me I shouted out to him, “Hey, Ving, what’s the deal with the bandaid behind in the back of your head in ‘Pulp Fiction’?” He responded that it would all come out in “Pulp Fiction 2,” but that they were still trying to get the money together and it might not happen. Needless to say, it didn’t happen.
Ryan Seacrest was totally bizarre. It was at a Comedy Awards show, he was about five feet away from me and staring at me for what seemed like a minute and I swear it was a stare that said, “I wanna kick your ass.” Not too comedy-like, Ryan. I’d look down, try to avoid it, I’d look up, and there was that stare. “I wanna kick your ass.” After a while, I couldn’t help but crack up because it was just so damn ridiculous! Oh, and I’d squash Ryan Seacrest, the little punk. But I really liked him on the radio (I’m not an “American Idol” watcher). Whoda thunk Ryan Seacrest wanted to be such a badass???
Any celebrity mean drunks?
Any of them have to get tossed out of the party?
(No need for names, of course.)
Ever see Russell Crowe fight anyone?
Hey, sorry, Monkey. Surprisingly, most of the celebrities keep it pretty light at celebrity functions, but most of them, shoot, I just don’t recall because nothing stands out. The times I was around Aniston I was catering, not bartending, so I didn’t serve her (she didn’t come to my bar at her wedding, but it was all Dom Perignon all night, so that would be my guess).
The only ones that really stand out are:
Diana Ross: Patron tequila and nothing but Patron;
Sugar Ray Leonard: tequila at one party, then water at the next (and not too happy about the latter, I might add.
Macy Gray: Courvoisseur up, and she didn’t seem to care if you had to run to the Quickie Mart to go get it. A little whacky, that Macy.
Mira Sorvino: apple martini, but she just wouldn’t seem content with what I made her (which happens).
Cher: diet coke, but she got made that the foam spilled over the brim.
Harvey Keitel & Christopher Walken: Ketel One, chilled, up. But I was out of Ketel One. So Stoli. But there wasn’t enough for two because I was running out of that, too. So they were okay that I mixed it with, umm, Absolut I think – which is a big no-no, but they were kinda goofy, very jovial, didn’t seem to care. One of them, I think Keitel, actually started chilling one glass himself, showing Walken how to do it. That interaction was one of my all-time favorites on an otherwise bad night. The biggest pre-Oscar party in town and I got stuck in the middle of nowhere. But that moment with them was priceless.
The only one that stands out is Little Richard, but there must be others. It wasn’t while bartending, but boarding an airline. It was 7am, the guy was decked out in leather, looked like he had permanent makeup on, and had a really, REALLY big head, looked damn near mongoloidian. He smiled at me and I kinda tried to avoid his eyes – he kinda creeped me out. But when we changed flights (we were both headed for the same city), my friend and I talked to him for a while and he was extremely friendly.
At a party commemorating the opening of the new WB station I dumped an iced tea on the back of some executive, but he was not famous. I was still mortified.
There is an annual fundraiser for the Pediatric AIDS Foundation hosted by Paul Michael Glaser (the original Starsky) and his wife. It’s held up in the Brentwood Hills and it’s chock full of celebrities and they’re all in a Sunday picnic sort of mode. Only time I waited on George Lucas (a bit stoic) and ex-Dodger great Sandy Koufax, who’s otherwise somewhat aloof (he was very cool and pleasant, has hands as big as Bill Clinton’s, but on a 5-10 frame, so almost freakish). I struck up a nice conversation once with Jenny McCarthy, who is much more serious than one might expect and, at that particular time, wasn’t particularly high on herself. I was still ga-ga about her from her “Remote Control” days (MTV game show) and said something stupid like she was the apotheosis of womankind. And she genuinely didn’t seem to think so highly of herself. But then I told her, “Anybody who’s favorite book is Conversations with God has got to be very special.” And she very quickly perked up and we talked about the book for a moment or two. Good apple, that Jenny McCarthy. Very big heart.
The one single event I still think about was the “America’s Sweethearts’” Premiere. I had gotten busted for making out with another bartender at a previous party (ironically, the wedding of the largest adult toy and pornography distributor on the West Coast) and got relegated to the service bar in the back. It was at the same time I was peddling a script I had an option on and the one single person I wanted to get it to more than any other was Adam Sandler. Sure enough, Sandler was at the party, the only time he was at a party I worked. Sure enough, he exited through the back way. Through a huge crowd I screamed to him that I had been trying to get a script to him for three years (a half-truth: I had been trying to get the script to different people for three years, but him less than a year). I shouted the title and premise to him and he stopped, almost mesmerized and kept repeating the title over and over. Then he told me to get it to his development guy (who had jerked me around already) and wished me good luck.
I was so psyched I proclaimed to anybody within earshot, “in two years I’m going to be a millionaire!” I was wrong. It just resulted in more frustration and disappointmment. His people (Happy Madison Productions) ultimately turned the script down and belittled me at every opportunity. It was the kind of experience that makes you wonder why the world is so cruel.
Adam, if you’re out there, you really must read this script. I swear. It’s called “Super Sunday” and is the story of a football fanatic who sneaks to the Super Bowl on his 10th wedding anniversary. Greatest. Sports. Comedy. Ever.
Huh? Oh yeah, back to the thread. My bad.
If memory serves, she was short, closer to 5-4, not 5-8. Kinda quiet, maybe even shy. I wasn’t sure at first if it was even her, and so when she came to my bar I asked her if she was an actress, she said she was and I replied, “Well you should be, because you are absolutely beautiful.” Which she appreciated. I admit, I sometimes played the role of celebrity bartender and it’s more of a fascade – sort of a mask – than what I consider the real me. I seldom wear such bravado on my sleeve and am not naturally so confident.
But she is stunning.
Funny you mention it, but the one story that came to mind involved Russell Crowe. Pre-Oscar party at the home a big-shot agent named Ed Limado and he was drunk at the end of the night and, next thing you know, he’s grabbing one of our caterers and shaking him. It got broken up before much could happen, but that’s one of the few times I know of a major celebrity losing it at a high-profile party.
I have heard a few other out-of-control incidents, but wasn’t there to witness them, one involving, midgets, tigers and guests peeing in the punch bowl at Tommy Lee and Heather Locklear’s home, but they’re generally the exception, not the norm. And as far as I know, it’s hearsay because I only got bits and pieces.
Well, for one, my celebrity interaction as a bartender was almost exclusively through a catering company, so there was no cash bar; all drinks complimentary. But if I can slightly change it to, "Who would you bend the rules for, who makes the cut on that and who doesn’t, I can probably come up with an answer.
Oh, and Kato is incredibly non-pretentious, struck me as the type who will talk to just about anybody and genuinely like them. It’s not a schtick. He doesn’t keep his guard up for anything.
Back to the question. My feeling is that in most circles the bar is a lot lower than to be expected – although I would think in a swanky Hollywood club, it’s probably a little different. I turned away Ben Stein once, so he obviously doesn’t make the cut. David Spade? He makes the cut; I served him when I wasn’t supposed to. Jean Claude Van Damme… doesn’t make the cut. Ron Jeremy… actually makes the cut; everybody seems to like the hedgehog. So that’s where I’ll put the cut: between Ron Jeremy and Van Damme.
But in the Viper Room, Tara Reid is probably having to show her tits to the bouncer to get in.
Titanic party was strange. Completely packed, but no celebrities showed up until very late. We ran out of glassware and I went to the tent to track some down and all I found was two guys dipping dirty glasses into a pot of boiling water, one glass at a time. And the party had over 1,000 people, probably 2,000.
Leo didn’t show up anywhere that year, I gather because he was mad about being snubbed for Best Actor nom. Kate Winslett showed up at 1am, offered to foot the bill for the party to continue for another hour, but got nixed, I think really because there were no more glasses (officially, because of fire code I recall, but that was b.s.). Cameron arrived about the same time, said some belligerant stuff on the P.A. and never spoke again. Say what you want about him being a megalomaniac (sp?), but the guy helmed a top-grossing three-hour movie with a thousand roles, edited it, wrote it. Some say the characters are one-dimensional (I agree), and he was more than a bit autocratic, but goodness gracious, what an achievement.
Billy Zane I encountered at another party, a couple of them actually and… he’s out of the closet right? He’s not? Oh, never mind. No comment.
Frances Fisher, who is so deliciously mean in “Titanic,” couldn’t me more different from her character. She was quick with a warm smile and very appreciative. Bill Paxton I waited on a few times – not at the Titanic party – and was likable, but maybe a little quirky. All three times he asked, “What are we having tonight?” Dude, there’s a whole bar in front of me, take your pick. The first two times he settled on cranberry juice, so the third time I suggested it. Bingo.
Gloria Stuart (Old Rose) was gentle and pleasant. I saw her at a different premiere, both Fisher and Paxton were there and approached her with complete reverence. But man, did she look fragile.
Kathy Bates I waited on at the “About Schmidt” party, and she was pretty cool, appreciative. But the interesting thing was is that she came out for a drink before the movie ended, almost certainly because she felt too embarrassed to be seen naked (on screen) in front of all of her peers.
I have never waited on Ewan MacGregor. I got stuck at Michael Ovitz’s house (celebrating his new management firm, which pretty much) the night of the Star Wars premiere. Andy Garcia was there. Don’t be surprised if he someday runs for a major political office. He just struck me that way.
One person that stands out was Dustin Hoffman, not because of what he drank (vodka tonic) but because how I responded to him.
J&B Scotch had paid, what, a zillion dollars? to have the front bar at the entrance to the American Comedy Awards at the Shrine one year. So, we were instructed to try to convince the guests to try a scotch instead of what they were drinking. More than once I’ve heard that scotch is an “acquired taste,” as in, “I’ve been drinking scotch for 10 years and I’m still acquiring it.” Some folks, like Judy Tenuda, just laughed in my face. Marion Ross looked just sort of perplexed. But Hoffman was the one that stood out. Here is Dustin Hoffman, Oscar winner, often recognized as one of the very top of his field, and this snotty bartender is trying to convince Dustin that he should rather try a J&B scotch sour instead of his vodka tonic. I had to whisper out of the side of my mouth that he could get what he wanted around the corner at the other bar. The J&B people just didn’t get it that not everybody wants a scotch.
Steve Martined emceed the event. I am sure it was that event that cemented him the host of the next Academy Awards.
Any celebs you’ve met spend as much time on the computer as we do?
How many celebrities don’t drink alcohol? You mention diet sodas for Cher and Clinton. Any others?
Can you answer that, please?