Ask the dopers who have gone through fertility treatments.

In My Humble Opinion
21

Jarb,

I’m in a situation similar to that, as mentioned they can take several samples from him, wash them, use them to do an Artificial Insemination. Failing that they can biopsy him and extract some swimmers on the off chance the issue is the bulk aren’t making out of the tract so to speak.

Failing the AI model, you can always go ICSI with his sample where the sperm are inserted directly into your eggs and them implanted. This is more invasive and more expensive, but you are able to have children with both of your genetic material.

Unfortunately that route won;t work for us. We are going with a donor. A very hard decision to make and if any of the guys out there need to talk about that, trust me fellas i know your pain.

22

I think that one of the most eye opening things about going to the clinic was seeing the patients. There were people from ALL walks of life: all walks of life were represented. rich people, people of all colurs, gays,etc. Fertility problems exist in a big way, but you’d (perhaps) never know it.

I just think it’s hard because we tend to put stigmas on ourselves and have no one to talk to… in some cases, not even our spouses as illustrated above.

Also, just to prove my point about medical terminology, I incorrectly stated that I underwent IVF. It was IUI that I went through (damn initials!)

IUI is intrauterine insemination. ** Jar**, this is mostlikely to be your first course of action.

Here is what will happen:

you will use take home ovulation kits. (you may consider investing in a machine)
When you are ovulating you will go to the doctor’s office every day until you cease ovulating. Everyday, your husband will make a “drop off”. Usually you can do this at home so long as you can get it to the office within an hour. In some cases, such as low sperm count,he may have to make a drop off there. This may be pretty difficult for some guys. It’s hard, as you can imagine, to perform under pressure. The best thing to do is perhaps ‘give him a hand’ (;)) and have a sense of humour about the whole thing.

Once a drop off is made, who ever drops it off must stay there to sign for it and to watch as the Technition identifies it and does what ever it is that they do.
At the center where I went, they made very very sure that sperm is accounted for.

Next, you will come in sometime that afternoon. You will verify your husband’s social security number and yours before anything is done.

You get a sonogram so that they can see which side is ovulating.
Next comes the insemination. It may or may not feel like a cramp. Your bed is then inverted slightly and you will lay there, somewhat upside down, for 15 minutes.
The nurse will the come in and give you another sonogram. The sperm is dyed with something so that it will appear on the sonogram.

repeat daily until you are done ovulating.

You will then return in a couple of weeks for a pregnancy test, regardless if you have your period.

This procedure is pretty much like a yearly pap exam.

and please don’t feel like you shouldn’t horn in. the whole reason I started this thread was to hopefully de-stigmatize the issue. Infertility, whether it is male or female based, is a difficult subject.

you’re in my thoughts and prayers, Jar. :slight_smile:

23

I was curious as to whether any of you found that your attitudes about abortion changed or intensified after you were having trouble conceiving. I wondered about that myself–if I couldn’t get pregnant, would the thought of “unwanted” pregnancies drive me crazy? And would I no longer be so pro-choice, since I’d be so empathetic towards couples waiting years to adopt?

We had very little trouble conceiving, and now we don’t want to add to our perfect little three-person family. I wish it were possible to give my fertility to someone else. I am not saying that flippantly; I wish it were do-able.

24

On the lighter side… your comment about keeping a sense of humor brought this to mind BNB!

I had a gyn appointment and had lots of bloodwork done to see why we weren’t pregnant. They also wanted to do my husband’s sperm count to see if maybe he was a factor. I got the jar and the instructions and asked three different people (including the lab) where to take everything when he was done.

Now my husband is in San Francisco on business. So when he calls that evening I tell him about his appointment and that he has to be ejaculation-free for the three days prior to his test. That was an odd phone call :slight_smile:

Anyway he comes home and does what he needs to and sets off for the lab. (I’m at work) The lab says they don’t do the test there and instructs him to go to this other lab. They tell him the same story and send him to the hospital. The hospital gives him a song and dance about needing an appointment until he relates his morning until then and they begrudgingly take his jar from him.

I get home and he tells me how he had to go all over town with a jar of semen under his arm (to keep them warm and alive) while practically begging every lab in the city to take the flipping thing.

We’ve had a few good laughs with this story since :slight_smile:

Oh and to answer cranky’s question sorta. I have never agreed with abortion as a form of birth control but I do see instances where it is necessary to save the mother’s life. I was also molested by my father from age 4 on up and my biggest fear was being forced to carry his child and raise it. Our first ultrasound at 9 weeks showed me a small person with a head and body and arms and legs (albeit kinda stumpy … pics on the www link below my post) and I was amazed at how early the baby was moving and attaining humanoid features. I couldn’t abort (my nephro asked me if I wanted to with this pregnancy) but I cannot fault everyone who makes that choice. I just hope they don’t make it lightly.

25

Not at all, I’m still Pro-chioce, what bothers me the most are all of the “unplanned” pregnancies that people keep because they are goaded into it and then they child is ignored or mistreated. I still feel people have a choice about abortion, and if you don’t want to keep the child put it up for adoption, but for hell’s sake don’t keep it just to keep it, unless you’re prepared to make the sacrifices that a child really needs.

26

Speaking soley for myself, my position has not changed. I can see and understand how people’s opinions would change, But I am pro-choice.

Although I have had spats with the green eyed monster, I have never begrudged any one having a kid (well, except for that ‘14 year old crack addict’).

I don’t think I could have an abortion and have fortunatly never been in the position to make that call, however what someone else decides to do is none of my business.

A funny story:

My friend had to take a sample in and she placed it on her car rook while she got it. When she went to grab it, the top opened and the contents spilled all over the roof. She took it to a car wash and I suppose it dried out in th ehot Texas sun. The car wash guy said as the car was going through the washer: Now that is some nasty bird poop. LOL!

27

arg. read that as: she placed it on her car roof while she got in.

28

Ya know Cranky, I have some mixed feelings there. It was hard not to treat fertile women (and not even pregnant women, just women I knew could conceive) as potential wombs - baby making factories - something out of “A Handmaids Tale”. And yet, the best guess for my condition was that we were concieving just fine - but that we had an implementation issue. That means that if life begins at conception, I’ve “lost” somewhere on the order of 20-50 babies. That’s simply inconceivable to me, so it cemented my notion that life may begin during pregnancy, but it is certainly after conception.