I guess the first question I’ll answer is “isn’t this a terrible idea for a thread? What are you thinking?” Yes, it probably is a bad idea. But then as this thread will demonstrate, I’m not immune to bad ideas.
I’ll cut to the chase. Some years ago I was involved in a triad relationship with two women I’ll call Alison and Bianca. Our relationship was a “triangle”–all three of us were dating each other, so I had a relationship with each of them, and they were dating each other and me, all at the same time. Our relationship lasted about six months; before that Alison and I had been dating, and Alison and I continued our relationship afterwards. I had not been involved in any polyamory or any other type of plural relationship such as swinging or open relationships before and I haven’t been involved in one since.
I was an unlikely candidate for polyamory. I am a rather dull heterosexual male, kind of boring to be honest. I am a very introverted person who has struggled with personal relationships for most of my life. Until my current marriage my relationships have not been good. I am socially a quite conventional person and this was a world I was unfamiliar with. I look back on the time that Alison, Bianca, and I had with a mixture of happiness and discomfort. I think it did affect me a lot, for better or worse.
I will answer one question before I open the floor so to speak. “Why are you starting this thread?” Firstly I wanted to fight ignorance. I don’t know any other polyamorists, even online. I rarely see anyone discussing polyamory and I went into the relationship completely blind. Maybe someone who is curious about it will read this thread and learn some things and avoid mistakes which I made (one of which was probably “don’t even start this”). Secondly I do have significant mental scars from it all. I have never discussed this with anyone in person, and only online during the relationship. I’ve buried this for years and it is time to address my problems. Lastly, well…it is an interesting way to live. I suppose others might feel the same way.
Ask away. I warn you that my schedule may prevent me from coming back on a regular basis, sometimes for a couple days or so.