You don’t want to know how poorly monkeys as “pets” get treated a lot of the time. Many folks just do not understand what it takes to care for a monkey in the proper environment. Monkeys ARE NOT people.
Okay. You and Sarahfeena asked more or less the same thing so i’ll address them both before I’ve got go go for a while.
The Most Evil Lizard In The World
We got a request from a regular for a large male blackthroat monitor lizard like THIS one. usually large monitors are lazy and we took the deposit and placed the order. We got back to the shop with the crate from the airport just fine and I was busy cleaning out the big tank for our new arrival. It was our policy to hold imported animals for treatment for a week before they went to their new homes. They would be wormed, treated for ticks, and any other issues identified and addressed before the client picked them up. As i’m raking up the mulch in the box, suddenly my ears beheld the distinct noise of splintering wood. The Lizard had managed to hulk his way out of the crate by forcing the lid up.
Crap.
Mind you, until this point I hadn’t even SEEN this lizard yet , and only knew it’s species, sex, and approximate size. It was big. Really, really, big. At least six feet long, and easily 45 lbs of grumpy, no nails trimmed, jaws gaping fury was loose in the store. I did the only thing I could do. I jumped on him. This was not entirely successful. It turns out that he was not impressed by my trim physique and picked me and walked (if more slowly) to the other side of the counter. I hooked a boot on the edge of the cashwrap and tried to use it as leverage to stop him. If I could pick him up, I could control him somewhat. The cashwrap tipped over. I went for another ride, but at least THIS time he went into the cage. Great! I thought to myself, I’ll hop off, close the door and leave him alone to settle down. This also was not entirely successful. I hopped off his back, and he immediately whipped around and bit my boot. Really, Really, Hard. Seriously. It Hurt. By this time, K. had arrived and was occupying himself laughing at me. He attempted to yank the beast off my foot, to no avail.
“He’s not letting go.” K. Said.
“No Shit sherlock.”
“I know a trick that will work.” K. Walked off without further explanation and returned with a bottle of Van Goh Vodka he’d gotten as a birthday present. He poured about 6 shots worth into a turkey baster and told me to raise my foot as high as I could. I complied and he shot the drink straight down into the corner of the Monitors mouth.
It’s eyes bugged out. For an animal with almost no facial muscles, it’s expression was clearly puzzled. What had it gotten a hold of? It spat out my foot and blinked a few times licking the air. I took the opportunity to vamoose out the door.
Later, it was drunk, and hung upside down from the wire roof for three hours straight.
That animal HATED me, and would try to kill me even if I brought him his food. K., however it loved and would even sit in his lap and allow his nails to be trimmed back a bit. He was easily the most memorable animal we ever dealt with. Monkeys and bats and the like are fun and interesting, but a drunk lizard is probably the funniest thing I ever saw there.
What kind of things did you ask potential customers when they were looking for animals? What kind of “red flags” did you look for that said “do not give this guy an animal”? What was the most common reason you wouldn’t sell to someone?
And what was the most commonly requested animal that you could NOT get, for legal reasons or b/c you just didn’t deal with them?
Thanks for starting this thread! I’m loving the pictures.
Alright, I’ll ask it: so, tell us about the person who wanted to make love to an exotic animal. Ok, I don’t think you can really “make love” to a monitor lizard- it’d probably just be fucking. But still.
My question is because I once read of a kid who had a poisonous centipede. The thing was like 2’ long, and he picked it up one day-it bit him and injected a large dose of venom. The guy wound up passing out and woke up in terrible pain (he recovered). So why keep animals/insects like this?
I am a dog owner-I enjoy my dog’s company, and he is enough like humans such that you can form a strong bond to him. How do you bond with a creature tha views you as a potential meal?
I just don’t get it!
About that story with the turtle…if you don’t know exactly what you’re getting, how do you know if it’s legal to receive it in your state/country?
Well for a normal customer I would start with the basics. Is this your first exotic pet? it is your first pet period? From there you move on to narrowing it down. So you want a reptile? cool. What were you thinking? Lizard, Snake or turtle? After that it can get pretty detailed, needing to know about monetary investment, time, type of feeding, eventual size of the animal etc…
The most common red flag was when you got out an ambassador Animal for them to interact with while in the store. i used these friendly, adult animals to judge how well people were interacting with the representative of the group. A lot of people who wanted a snake for example, had a hard time holding one and decided that they liked turtles better, or went to small mammals, fish or birds. The red flag moment is when you see that person isn’t making any connection whatsoever with the animal. A response be it good or bad shows that they are engaged with a pet and capable of recognizing it as a living being and not a toy or an object. Those who failed this test were kindly directed to take their business elsewhere.
As for the most commonly requested items? Piranhas top the list. Every doofus with a fish tank wanted them and they are seriously illegal in Florida.
Some people are fascinated by the danger. Others like caring for an animal that few people ever see. Some are collectors. Others like myself, are interested in breeding such species so that we can cease collecting the wild and can have a healthy population to keep in zoos and other facilities for research and education.
All animals must pass a CITES check before they leave port/ fly to their destination. CITES is an international list and all countries that are party to it agree on the same list. States can get trickier, but we were covered with our permitation to posses pretty much anything that they could throw at us.
Ah, gotcha. Thanks!
Thanks!
My sister did a lot of searching for a pirhana when we were kids. My dad was actually helping her look for one until we found out they are also illegal in NH, where we lived.
The most exotic pet I’ve had was a hedgehog, who was really fun. Mine was friendly though, I’ve heard they can be pretty anti-social.
I’d actually like a tarantula, but A) don’t think my husband would be cool with it and B) I have two cats, and I’d be too worried it would get out & bite one of them.
Ah well, once can dream, anyway.
Wolf Girl
It;s another slow day in the shop. College is out for the summer, and the kids are mostly gone partying wherever it is that cool, rich kids go to party. I am watching The Fifth Element on the DVD player and minding the shop. K. is busy doing personal stuff. In comes a girl about the same age as most of the college kids. Average height, slim build, dark hair. I greet her and go back to the movie, letting her browse the store. After a while she comes up to me and asks me-
“Do you guys have wolves?”
“Nope. for a full blood you’ll need (permit) and a certain amount of acreage. Besides, Full blood wolves aren’t like dogs. They need a strong experienced keeper and rarely make good pets.”
“Well I really want one.”
“I know a few breeders who do Timber-shepherds.” LINKY
“I really want a full blood, I’ve thought a lot about it.”
I noticed about this time that she was wearing a wolf t-shirt, had a wolf pendant on, and matching wolf earrings. oooookay…Well a lot of our customers are really into their breed of choice.
“When come back bring permit, kthnxbye”
About a month elapses and wolf girl returns with a permit that still must have had the ink wet on it. She plops it down on the counter and grins at me.
“I got my permit! NOW will you sell me a wolf?”
“I told you last time, I don’t have any. You’ll have to put a deposit down and wait for me to contact a breeder. It might take a while.” I"m hoping to frustrate her. Canids are squirrelly to deal with legally, but nothing I can’t handle. I notice she is wearing a different wolf t-shirt today. She frowns a bit at that.
“How much?” Ah-ha! perhaps I can jack up the price a bit and scare her off. I’m getting weirdo vibes from her anyway.
“2500.00 now, and another 25 when you get your pup.” Her eyes light up. Shit.
“Is that all?! Okay I’ll go right to the bank.”
“Wait a minute…slow down. I have some reservations about brokering a potentially dangerous animal to someone I don’t know very well.”
We have an entertaining and somewhat bizarre conversation about how she feels that she is spiritually a wolf, and has always wanted to live with one since she was little. My weirdo radar is clanging so hard I’m surprised little bell noises aren’t chiming our of my ears. Still money’s money, and she was quite knowledgeable about the care needs, AND she had her permit. What the hell, some people are weird, I’M weird. I send her off to the bank and begin doing her paperwork folder and I make a few calls. When she returns she hands me a stack of crisp $100.00 bills and I count it up.
“okay. Right now the only breeder that has pups available is (blah blah kennels). They have three females at 10 weeks old ready to go. Would you like me to-” She interrupts me.
“Oh no! It has to a boy!” Okay, well some people are like that. I only have female dogs myself.
"It’ll be a while, no one else has pups right now, and even if the next litter drops tomorrow it will be 8-12 weeks before you can get a pup. " we go back and forth on it for a while, she really, really, wants me to make some more calls. Finally she levels with me.
“Look, I want a male because I want a partner.”
“what?” I’m dense like this sometimes.
“You know… I don’t like people, I’m a wolf really, inside. I want a male to bond with.” I’m starting to see where she is heading and it is not a pleasant place. I drop the pretenses.
“You hinting that you want a male dog to have sex with?” I figure outright perversity might be my last exit out of this strange world I’d fallen into.
“Yeah. I’ve tried with dogs but the emotional connection isn’t there. I just KNOW that with a real wolf it will be right.”
Me: :eek: “Umm…”
“That’s why it has to be a boy, I’m not gay. That would be just gross.”
I handed her her money back. That hurt. A lot. A whole lot. “Look, you seem like a nice person, and I don’t have anything against what you are trying to do here, after all it’s hard to get a male dog to STOP humping right? (nervous laughter) But I can’t be a party to what a lot of people would call animal abuse. You have your permit, you don’t really NEED me to make your calls. I’ll give you the number of a kennel and you deal with them yourself.”
“Awesome! you guys are the coolest!” She took the number like it was a map to blackbeard’s treasure and treated me a hug. I saw her months later at the dog park with a floppy eared, huge pawed male wolf pup, happy as could be. In fairness, the animal seemed extremely healthy, happy and well adjusted and socialized. I’ve always wondered what that conversation must have been like on the phone with (blahblah Kennels).
I’m going to try to phrase this as neutrally as I can, although I admit I don’t feel very neutral.
Did you have moral qualms about what you were doing?
“That’s why it has to be a boy, I’m not gay. That would be just gross.”
Yeah, I have to admit: gay bestiality is just gross. The regular stuff, though? HAWT.
About what? The above story, or business in general? I’ve got a thick skin for criticism of the trade, go ahead and ask.
I don’t know much about animals but aren’t full blood wolves… like… dangerous?
Can they be raised like domestic dogs or are they considered wild?
Could she end up Timothy Treadwell?
Had you called (blahblah Kennels) to give them some warning about the conversation they were soon to be having?
Yeah, They said they get those kind of questions more than you would think. :eek:
And they were still cool with selling her a wolf?
There will be a lot of debate about this, and I’d rather the thread not devolve into an argument about it. The short answer is : It depends. Wolves with the right personality can be raised to be quite docile though they should never be trusted as far as one wold trust a domestic dog. In general they are far more dominant, aggressive, and unpredictable than most domestic breeds. A good comparison would be a more feral hunting type used by nomadic peoples. They are great for their purpose but would make for lousy apartment dogs.
Thing is, legally Wolf Girl was in the green. She had her permit, which means she passed the requirements and had her premises inspected. That means that the state did not consider her a risk for an aggressive animal.