I’ve never personally gotten “It doesn’t exist”, but I have had people tell me I can’t possibly have it because “You don’t seem like you have it to me.” This guy was not a doctor–just a jerk. He actually googled stuff to prove the doctor wrong.
I’d like to double major in pyschology and get my MSW, then work at a women’s clinic.
I don’t know what I feel about about the “metaphorical” camp. Just because some people abuse the system doesn’t mean that a disease does’t exist or isn’t an issue in some peoples lives. I would say it becomes AS when a person has difficulty functioning in normal society.
As to people who go from doctor to doctor, who draws the line? I was initially misdiagnosed, but the urging of my roommates sent me to a doctor who was willing to listen. The first doctor was more interested in getting me on anti-depressants and in councilling than anything. He ignored my questions and acted as though I was stupid. The second doctor didn’t draw conclusions until she had asked me questions, listened and didn’t push meds or therapy.
Sounds like they are German. It must be done zhis vhay!
Sorry.
There are treatments that can be done to help with the hate-to-be-touched part.
I just learned of this last night, but cannot recall what the heck it is called for the life of me.
A friend of mine has a very high functioning Aspie son ( who is my birthday twin and I just love this kid to pieces.) who did this treatment/thingie to him that I forget the actual name of it. I shall attempt to describe it: fully clothed, she rubbed his body over ( except head. Too sensitve.) with a nylon surgical scrub brush, then after the entire body is done, put pressure on the joints ( shoulders, elbows, wrists.)
The scrub brush part, IRRC, brings the nerves up and the pressure part releases endorphins to help calm the nerves down.
I’m going to have to txt my friend for more information. I hate not have linkie goodness.
I’d like to say “welcome” to you, too, ** Lysitheia**! I’ve been thinking of you since beginning to read this thread yesterday and told my husband about you this morning. Learning about new things is quite the passion for us (as it is for all Dopers!) and I’m happy to make your acquaintance and learn from you too!
Dr. Grandlin was featured recently in a documentary we aired called “The Woman Who Thinks Like a Cow.” Unfortunately, I have yet to view it, but according to the promotional materials, she says that she believes the autistic brain to be more similar to the brain of an animal than a human. This is why she is able to work so successfully in her field (animal equipment design).
So I guess my question is – have you noticed any special connection between yourself and animals? Or any evidence that your thought processes are akin to those of animals?
I don’t think there is anything derogatory in Dr. Grandlin’s characterizations; after all, she is acknowledged to be quite brilliant. However, I do realize it sounds rather insulting to ask “do you think like an animal” and if I am insulting you, I sincerely apologize. Thank you!
I’ve been enjoying this thread, but haven’t been able to think of any questions until now…thanks to Shirley Ujest. What she’s describing sounds right up an occupational therapists aisle. Part of my sister’s course work for becoming an OT involved interning at a place that helped kids with a wide range of differences from the norm (I don’t really know the PC terminology…sorry; I can imagine my sister chastising me for using potentially non-inclusive language). She worked with kids (and parents!) who were dealing with everything from severe birth defects to mild autism. I remember her talking a lot about sensory integration.
My question, after all of that rambling, is have you ever considered going to an occupational therapist for help in becoming more comfortable with casual touching?
We are actively doing this for our son, every 1.5 - 2.0 hours apart, during the hours he is awake. It seems to be working, as long as we stick to the rigorous schedule.
I didn’t know she had written a book–I will look for it. I also didn’t know that she had had a doc made about her. Thanks.
I have read all of Sack’s books–I like his writing. It is in The Anthropologist from Mars.
My parent’s neighbour is HFA. He’s finishing grade 5 now, in a regular school, but I think he has a teacher’s aide for part of the day. In reading your posts, I’ve recognized him in a lot of the behaviours, interests, and challenges. He has ridiculous language skills, but is very weak at math. He doesn’t like to be touched, doesn’t understand lies, doesn’t have a lot of empathy for others, but loves animals, can be quite creative, and has a few stims. He doesn’t really understand, or seem to like, his younger brother (who is 4, I think), but he’s very diligent when given the task of taking care of him.
My question is do you have siblings, or anyone in a sibling-like role? How did you get along with them, and how has your relationship changed with them over the years?
Also, for those of you with HFA children… my parent’s neighbours are very well informed, and have provided him with every resource they could get their hands on (as I’m sure most of you are!). Recently, they were able to get a service dog from Mira for him, and she has helped him deal with anxiety issues and confidence issues, and will be going to school with him in the next school year (at least, that’s the idea). There might be something like that available for your children.
Temple Grandin also wrote a book expanding on her ideas about animal and autistic thought, called Animals in Translation. We went to hear her speak at a bookstore tour when it was published. Very interesting. She’s quite funny, too.
One thing she talked about was that her parents, especially her mother, worked very hard to teach her how to function well in basic social situations, so she never worries that she is going to say or do the wrong thing.
Stand with your arms at your sides. Raise your hands until they’re horizontal in front of you. Raise them a bit more, your arms will try to open and turn a bit: let them. Bend your wrist back and forth, so your hands do a fanning movement.
Congratulations, you’re flapping your hands.
I do something like that when I’m nervous and can’t find the bloody right words. Given that I think in pictures (specially when solving difficult problems), methinks I just found a To Read book!
Thanks, I’ve seen people do that before. I always associated it with a sort of “oh no, what do I do?” reaction, though. (ISTR Reese Witherspoon does this in Legally Blonde?)
I’m not sure how to properly explain this and I apologize in advance if I come off as insensitive or ignorant in any way…
The back story:
I met a woman with AS online about a month ago. As she’s 20 years my senior (and lives 500 miles away) I don’t have any romantic attraction but I found her to be an interesting person to talk to and she’s been through more hardships than anyone I’ve ever met. I found myself wanting to help her, to lend a kind ear when she needed one or offer any helpful advice that I could. She told me how hard it is for her to connect with anybody and that she feels this intense connection with me that is special. She’s divorced and has been essentially screwed over by many people in her life and hearing her stories was heartbreaking. Understandably, this likely caused her other psychological issues on top of her AS.
I was more than happy to continue a friendship with her. As I said, she is a wonderful person with a big heart and I feel terrible for the things she’s been through. Unfortunately, things are starting to get worrisome. While I feel I’ve helped her overcome some obstacles and improve her life a bit, her ‘connection’ to me is becoming more of an obsession. She calls 20 some-odd times a day and if I don’t answer or call her back immediately she starts freaking out. I know it’s hard for people with AS to fully understand an NT, but I have a job and a social life and I just can’t devote to her the time that she requires. Now she’s talking about tattooing my name on her body and undergoing lots of intense plastic surgery to make herself more attractive. I’ve tried to explain my feelings and situation as honestly and straightforward as possible but I suspect her AS makes it all difficult to understand.
I feel the best option at this point is to tell her that we need to take a break. In addition to the obvious alarm at her obsession, I also feel like my friendship is causing her more distress than it is helping and that in turn makes me feel worse. I’m in a constant state of guilt and confusion and I think a break, while it will be painful to her, would be of the most long-term benefit for both of us. As someone with AS, is there any advice you can offer me here? I’ve never known anything about autism (outside of Rainman) so this is all very new to me. I feel like a bit of a jerk doing this but I can’t see another option. I should be able to be there for her as a friend, but I know for a fact (she’s told me many times) that she wants to be more than that and her obsessive behavior is getting scary to me. I am worried that if I tell her we can’t talk anymore, she may go out and do something stupid. She is in contact with a cocktail of therapists so I’m hoping they will be able to help but I’m still worried.
I’m very interested in the opinion of someone like yourself. Thank you for starting this thread. You’re a beautiful person.
I’m not sure how to properly explain this and I apologize in advance if I come off as insensitive or ignorant in any way…
The back story:
I met a woman with AS online about a month ago. As she’s 20 years my senior (and lives 500 miles away) I don’t have any romantic attraction but I found her to be an interesting person to talk to and she’s been through more hardships than anyone I’ve ever met. I found myself wanting to help her, to lend a kind ear when she needed one or offer any helpful advice that I could. She told me how hard it is for her to connect with anybody and that she feels this intense connection with me that is special. She’s divorced and has been essentially screwed over by many people in her life and hearing her stories was heartbreaking. Understandably, this likely caused her other psychological issues on top of her AS.
I was more than happy to continue a friendship with her. As I said, she is a wonderful person with a big heart and I feel terrible for the things she’s been through. Unfortunately, things are starting to get worrisome. While I feel I’ve helped her overcome some obstacles and improve her life a bit, her ‘connection’ to me is becoming more of an obsession. She calls 20 some-odd times a day and if I don’t answer or call her back immediately she starts freaking out. I know it’s hard for people with AS to fully understand an NT, but I have a job and a social life and I just can’t devote to her the time that she requires. Now she’s talking about tattooing my name on her body and undergoing lots of intense plastic surgery to make herself more attractive. I’ve tried to explain my feelings and situation as honestly and straightforward as possible but I suspect her AS makes it all difficult to understand.
I feel the best option at this point is to tell her that we need to take a break. In addition to the obvious alarm at her obsession, I also feel like my friendship is causing her more distress than it is helping and that in turn makes me feel worse. I’m in a constant state of guilt and confusion and I think a break, while it will be painful to her, would be of the most long-term benefit for both of us. As someone with AS, is there any advice you can offer me here? I’ve never known anything about autism (outside of Rainman) so this is all very new to me. I feel like a bit of a jerk doing this but I can’t see another option. I should be able to be there for her as a friend, but I know for a fact (she’s told me many times) that she wants to be more than that and her obsessive behavior is getting scary to me. I am worried that if I tell her we can’t talk anymore, she may go out and do something stupid. She is in contact with a cocktail of therapists so I’m hoping they will be able to help but I’m still worried.
I’m very interested in the opinion of someone like yourself. Thank you so much for starting this thread. You’re a beautiful person and I’m very grateful.
Lysitheia, what were you like as a little kid? I worked with two who were diagnosed HFA, and was given the distinct impression from readings and seminars that Aspergers was a much milder disorder, not synonymous. You sound much more connected than they were, especially since you were adult before someone diagnosed you - with them it was obvious to even casual observers that they weren’t NT…
Hey guys–sorry I disappeared for two days–damned RL.
I haven’t sought out OT because I live in Lousiana and my Dad lives way up North, so my insurance won’t so me any good (I’m on Dad’s insurance until I’m 21).
I love animals and they seem to like me back. I think it’s because both autistics and animals give out clear, unambiguous signals–‘Don’t touch me’, ‘I like you and wish to be your friend’.
Animals are also non judgemental. I dislike socialiazing because I feel like people judge me–animals don’t care how friggin’ weird I am, just that I keep the kitty treats coming.
I have a twelve year old step sister, Gotherella. We’ve only known each other about six months, however.
I had a friend who was like a sister, but it ended really badly. She claimed I was ‘too hard to live with’, but this was a woman who would scream me out of bed to cook to food, because 'You weren’t doing anything."
The last straw came when she tried to get me date raped because she decided that the realationship was going nowhere and he wasn’t serious because he didn’t try to bully me into it before I was ready.
BF and I are still together. No longer speaking to friend.
When I flap, I usually keep my elbow(s) tight to my side, then, keeping my wrist limp, move my hand up and down quickly.
Peabody Ticklepants–this is a situation, so procede carefully.
Have you told her, flat out, that you’re only interested in being friends?
Is there any chance she’s mentally ill as well as AS?
Be compassionate but brutally honest and unambiguous. I’d tell her pretty much what you said in your post, actually.
I was a weird kid, extremely precocious but socially withdrawn and anxious all the time. I was-- and am–quite devout, though very liberal in my beliefs (I’m Catholic). I avoided other children as soon as I realized that they thought I was a freak. High school was much better, because being a weirdo is actually kind of cool at that age ( within certain boundries).