Loving the before and after photos!
Mate, it’s not even a request. All you need to do is call to reschedule the remaining time. You have a contract for a certain length of time, it hasn’t been fulfilled yet.
Thanks for the tip, Maastricht! That roll litter box seems really interesting, though I’m dubious that Mina, my biggest cat, would fit through even the larger version’s opening. She has a very odd pear shape … assuming the pear is the size of a pumpkin… and her belly is what her vet called “a tight little drum” – in other words, not mushy like normal fatcats, but relatively inflexible. Her kids would have no problem getting in or out, but Mina, bless her heart… I can only imagine a situation similar to Winnie the Pooh getting stuck in Rabbit’s hole. (And why can I not write that without it sounding incredibly dirty?)
sandra nz, you’re right, I know that. And I just called the company and the receptionist said she’d talk to the super and try to reschedule.
I’m a little worried, though, because no matter how many times I emphasized that it was the supervisor who called Sol off the job, the receptionist seemed to infer from my comments that I was blaming Sol for leaving early, as if he’d done so on a whim. Hopefully the supervisor and the records will make the facts clear, because the very last thing I’d want to do is have Sol think I’m accusing him of slacking off early.
Speaking of him, he actually called me yesterday to make sure that my maintenance guys brought my chair down to the trash as promised. How amazingly thoughtful is that?
(For some reason Sol and my maintenance guys/super seemed to have some trust issues regarding each other. There was definitely some weird rivalry or mildly proprietary antagonism going on – I can’t think why, it’s not as if Sol was doing anything the guys would normally have done, except maybe fix my table. Maybe it’s just a male territorial war sorta thing. :D)
Sorry to double-post, but I just wanted to report another small victory in the emancipation of choie, or at least my growing some ovaries.
Remember the whole sofa / chaise lounge deal? I’d actually forgotten all about it, but about an hour ago the maintenance guys came by to let me know they’d be bringing the sofa down to me. I said, “just the sofa, right? Not the other piece?” They said yes and then proceeded to bring down the chaise lounge before heading upstairs to get the sofa.
Now, just in case I haven’t made it absolutely clear in the past 100+ posts, I am a big fat wimp. I looked at that lounge, and again, it looked very comfy and if I had a two-room apartment I wouldn’t have had the slightest hesitation in taking both. But I no longer wanted the lounge. However, the guys had just spent muscle and effort getting this stupid thing in my apartment, and that meant I was stuck with it, because I just couldn’t imagine telling them to shlep it out again. So I was sitting all angry with myself and trying to think of how to get rid of this lounge or where I could put it that wouldn’t annoy the hell out of me, or if I could sell it, or whatever.
Then the guys came with the sofa, which looked really nice, and they put it together and were about to hook up the chaise lounge to it (apparently it’s sort of a sectional set-up, although it doesn’t have to be) when I just blurted, “guys, I am so sorry, but there’s been a miscommunication. I didn’t intend to take both the sofa and the lounge together – I just don’t think there’s room. Would you be furious if I asked you to take the lounge back upstairs? I’m so sorry…” and so on.
One of the guys tried to make a case for keeping the lounge, saying it could be put anywhere, but the other one just said no problem, whatever I want is fine. Basically I apologized every five seconds as they hauled that lounge back out the door.
I know this is still ridiculous and wussy, and I didn’t need to beg for forgiveness or anything, but damn it, at least I said it, rather than accepting the furniture and just ending up resenting myself and being pissed off at my own inability to speak my mind. It’s very easy to turn anger against myself.
And now the chaise is gone and I’m left with a nice, looks-as-good-as-new, FREE little loveseat that is soft and very unobtrusive, probably because it’s not that far removed from the color of the floor, a sort of a sand brown. The place looks homier already. Of course already my cat Therblig has decided it’s his, but fortunately his fur matches the sofa perfectly, which is always a plus. (But I’ll use my dustbuster to make sure it doesn’t get furry. The trick will be keeping the cats from scratching it, but I’ll just have to keep their nails short.)
Anyway, just wanted to brag about the amazing feat of asking for what I want – twice in one day! I can’t remember the last time that happened. 
No way. That’s a huge freaking deal. Seriously, speaking up (even when you know the other person might not be happy to move furniture back upstairs) is a giant step.
Especially around this board where you hear “oh just grow a pair and speak up” all the time, it’s just not reality for a great many people who would rather suffer silently than speak up.
You did a very good job!
This board needs more threads like this. Choie, you are totally made of win.
+100! (And choie, your very gracious words made me get all misty, which made the dog cock an eye in my direction to see if he’d done anything wrong, and then he successfully begged for a treat, so you’ve made at least two other creatures quite happy today, so go you!)
Speaking up clearly for what you want instead of just going with it and wallowing in doubt and self-loathing afterwards? Somebody grab a bucket of water, because this girl is on FIRE! We need a salaaming smiley, stat!
And inspired by all this new-brooming, I spent part of the morning clearing up the mess on top of, inside, and on all sides of my nightstand. Now it’s all crisp and organized! And the 18 books that make up my reading pile (oy) are nicely stacked in the open area in it, and there’s nothing at all on the floor around it! I do still have to figure out what to do with some of the things that had been tossed on it over the years, but I’m going to do that tomorrow morning as soon as I get the house to myself, and I think it’s not going to take more than 15 minutes tops. Only one thing that I’m still hesitating over: I found some of my kids’ teeth in a little dish on the nightstand, and now I’m at a bit of a loss. It’s okay to throw them out, right? Because anything else would be completely gross, and why didn’t the tooth fairy just drop them into the trash one at a time years ago, yeah?
choie you are amazing. I’ve been lurking this thread all along with you and enjoying every moment of it.
First of all you are an amazing and vivid writer, so kudos to you about that. Your home may have been a mess but the words you produce are crisp, bright, and clear. And now your home matches that!
Also, congrats on standing up for yourself - twice in one day. That is a Big Deal ™ in anyone’s life much less someone who is on uncertain ground when that happens.
Thinking about how many people get inspired in these cleaning threads, anyone interested in a “Daily Sweep” type of thread where we can all check in about our house care and cleaning stuff, big or small? Accountability moves mountains… (or maybe this is already happening and I just have missed it).
Anyway choie, thank you for opening up your experience to us - I think we’ve all gotten nearly as much out of it as you have.
You’re supposed to hold on to the teeth so that your kids can find them when they’re getting ready to put you in a old folks home. Then, your kids will be overwhelmed with the knowledge of how much you loved them and at least put you in a home in the same state. 
(The ToothFairy only throws out teeth that aren’t taken care of - the good ones are cleaned and given to babies.)
choie, yay! I know how hard it is to ask someone to do more work when they’re trying to do something nice for you. Good job for sticking up for your space!
Good for you, choie. I’ve never been very interested in housecleaning, but I’ll tell you what has been working for me - I had cleaned my house top to bottom for a Halloween party we were having, and I decided to try to keep it up after that. I figured out what things I thought should be cleaned every week, and I clean them every Friday (well, I’ve been cleaning them Saturday since I’ve been working). I decided that the floors need to be swept, the throw rugs need to be vacuumed (we have two cats, too), the bathrooms need to be cleaned, the kitchen needs to be cleaned, and the living room needs to be tidied. This all takes me about an hour - I can spend an hour each week cleaning, I figure. Once you make it a habit, it’s just a thing you do.
choie, I’ve been following this thread with interest. You’ve done so well! I don’t hoard, but I do clutter, and I’m hoping this thread will help me get the roundtuits I need to get rid of the empty boxes and things I’ve been meaning to get rid of for … a long time now.
Meantime, I have to say, I love the name of your cat, and to recommend Soft Paws for the potential scratching problem. (Are you also a fan of Cheaper By the Dozen?)
Oh God, you guys are just so amazing. I’ve been teary several times since reading today’s posts. I don’t even remember what I was expecting as a response last Sunday when I began the thread–well, probably I was expecting one or two replies and then it would die a sudden, unmourned death, which is usually how my threads go … unless they involve Lord of the Rings :D. But seriously, I think I expected support from many and chastisement from a few. (We’ve all seen threads blow back in the OP’s faces.) But this? The warmth, the encouragement, the reassurance, the empathy, the advice, the cheers, and the shared experiences from others who’ve been or who are currently in similar situations? No, I was not expecting that. Not to this degree. And I certainly wasn’t expecting to be a positive influence to anyone, because it feels like a very long time since I’ve had anything positive to offer. Of all the gifts this week’s given me, the idea that I do, maybe, after all, have something of value in my character, something that isn’t equivalent to the trash I’ve been identifying with – well, that’s the biggest one of all. Even more than the clean apartment.
(Though the clean apartment is pretty frikkin’ amazing by itself.)
The advice has been so helpful. I agree, Cat Whisperer, that an hour a week is very reasonable, and considering this is a studio with kitchen/bath, and I’m not really bringing new stuff into the place these days, there’s no reason I can’t put on a Beatles album and clean in the time it takes them to go from “Taxman” to “Tomorrow Never Knows.” (Yes, Revolver’s my favorite. I guess for longer cleaning sessions I might need to pull out the big guns of the White Album.)
Soft Paws are definitely worth a try, Morgyn – and OMG I think you’re the first person who immediately recognized the source of Therblig’s name!
Putting this in spoilers only because not everyone cares about cat names:
[spoiler] Several years back I was thinking about the Therblig system – which, for those who don’t know, was created by Frank Gilbreth, an early 19th century innovative expert in time and motion study. It breaks down tasks into miniscule sub-tasks in order to identify any wasted effort or time; the idea is to identify each step of the job you’re doing and figure out how to make each of these tiny steps that most people don’t even think about (like searching for a toothbrush with your eyes, locating the toothbrush, reaching for the brush, grasping it, doing the same for the toothpaste, loading the brush with toothpaste, lifting the brush to your mouth…) and making each of them easier, no matter how simple it may seem. If each step of these (for example) 17 steps is made more efficient, in the end you’ll save a large amount of time by the end of the job.
Anyway, my therapist at the time had noticed that I’m easily overwhelmed by large goals or tasks (such as, um, a filthy apartment), so she suggested breaking these goals down into smaller ones. That’s when I remembered Therbligs. At the time I was in a truly deep depression, even worse than now, and it was a struggle just to get out of bed and get dressed. So I thought: okay, what will make it easy, or more pleasant/inviting, to get out of bed? I didn’t like my floor, so what if I got some comfortable, fuzzy slippers? It seems ridiculously unimportant but when you’re that low, something that tiny makes a difference.
So I decided to use the word “therblig” to mean “the little things that make life bearable and easier, step by tiny step.” When I adopted my cats in 2003, which was shortly after the death of my father, I looked at the little pale orange boy kitten and thought: This is Therblig. He, his mom and his sister will help get me through my grief and remind me that even just getting cats – I hadn’t had any since my previous cat (the source of my username) died in 2001 shortly before 9/11 – is a step forward to making my life more bearable. Obviously those steps have been extraordinarily slow in coming, since here I am 9 years later, but hey, I never said I was a time and motion study expert! [/spoiler]
So, um, yeah. That’s the story of Therblig. Also, I think it’s basically one of the cutest names for a cat ever.
Thinking about that “breaking goals down” thing - have you ever read Getting Things Done? It’s a time management system (I know, that sounds AWFUL) but a large part of it is learning how to think in terms of “next actions”. In other words, if your to-do list says “Clean out garage” on it, that’s completely nonhelpful and you’ll never do it. If you think “What is the next thing I need to do about the garage? Well, I can’t really get in to clean until I call Frank about taking his motorcycle out of there…” then your next action is “Call Frank re: motorcycle”. Once you do that, and you DO do that (that’s what the rest of the system is about) then you say “What’s my next action now? Oh, I need to get some shelves next.” And so forth. You might really find it helpful.
Of course, I’ve read it several times and never stuck with it, but it IS a good system and I do use parts of it. For example, he won’t let you label a file “miscellaneous”. Very bad no good name. It’s okay to have a file folder with one piece of paper in it.
Heh, I wondered about Therblig’s name myself, ( I love the books!) and that’s a great way to use the term. You’ve not only inspired me, but one of my dear friends as well. You SHOULD feel good about helping inspire others and you SHOULD feel good about what you have accomplished. Moreover, you should feel good about being a warm, softhearted emapthetic person. It’s not necessarily always a bad thing, y’know.
I was, unfortunately, away on business last week and didn’t get to read this thread as it happened but I wanted to chime in.
I am so proud of you! I am not sure that anyone who does not suffer from a mental health problem can really understand the pain you went through to get here or the continued strength it is going to take to keep it up. Wow!
But there is something that has come out in your posts that I feel I need to comment on. You said that your brain was the same as your space and stuff. Cluttered, junky, disorganized. YOU ARE NOT YOUR STUFF. You (from the tone of your posts) are a wonderful, articulate person who deserves to be treated well EVEN IF YOU AREN’T TREATING YOUR STUFF WELL. It’s okay to backslide in terms of cleaning, you will still be the wonderful person you are.
I have the opposite problem, I clean because I want to feel worthy. When my house is a mess, I sink into a deep depression (and usually need my husband to clean up a little so I can function at all). I feel worthless unless my house is tidy. It’s sad. It’s not good for my kids (since if there is even a little clutter around, I can’t focus my attention on them).
I am making small progress in being able to enjoy my kids even with mess (carving pumpkins in the living room, playing with playdoh, etc.) but it is a daily stuggle to find balance.
Working from home, i think choie is a prime candidate for a roomba.
Given the apartment size, a roombita. I don’t remember the make and model, but there are some miniroombas out there now which are about 1/4 the size of the original ones; they’re also a lot cheaper than full-size roombas.
Yes Nava, but is a roombita large enough for a cat to ride it? The Roomba apparently is.
The funny thing is, if there is one thing that makes it easy to anthropomorfice it (did I spell that right?) it is a Roomba. Most people name their Roomba after the first trial run. Roomba owners also tend to put less clutter on the floor, because they feel sorry for their little Roomba guy when [del]it[/del] he gets confused by, or stuck in clutter.
Oh I didn’t catch your message, perfectparanoia, but thank you so very very much; it made me a bit teary to get such compassion and support from someone who understands what it’s like.
BTW, pumpkins were verboten in my house as far as I was concerned. Carving wasn’t gonna happen, so I’d draw faces on them, and basically that meant they would stay around until they were a rotten mass of blackish/orangy pumpkin goo by Thanksgiving. No way could I throw those things out.
Maastricht, firstly, that video is hilarious! I’d be very curious to see how my cats would react to that. I’ll have to look into a roomba, though it seems awfully decadent to get one when I only have one room, a kitchen and bathroom to sweep!
The place is still looking good. I admit I haven’t followed up with the cleaning service to get those extra 3.5 hours they technically owe me. I’ll try to get up the nerve this week.
First off, congrats! This was a very inspiring thread.
Second - don’t wait too long to follow up! Call tomorrow. I mean it! Don’t make me come over there and scold you!!
I will also scold you!
You do NOT want to be on the receiving end of one of my scolds. I’ve been scolding for years and have gotten VERY proficient.