Would you care to share any of Saddam’s moustache grooming tips?
Also, I see that Western images of you show you without a moustache. Is the Western media digitally altering these images in order to make you look less masculine?
So will rubbing my genitals vigorously with warm water and soapy lather help turn my thoughts to Saddam? And if it does, does that mean I’m gay? I have to admit, there have been more dudes creeping into my fantasies lately. Not so much doing anything, but they’re definitely there. Is that wierd? I don’t think I’d ever want to kiss a guy, but there is something very intriguing about Saddam’s moustache. Have you ever kissed a guy?
Your advice, Mr. Iraqi Information Officer, isn’t what I was expecting, but I have to admit, it has really got me thinking…
Thanks! And Happy Easter,
Crap Nelson
This is the most true thing I ever tell you, and everything I tell you is true. You will know that a statue is a real statue of Saddam if you cannot tear it down. And in fact, if you could fly in a space ship, you would see that the whole country of Iraq is shaped like Saddam. I will like to see the Americans try to tear down the whole country of Iraq.
Why do you look at Western images when you know that they are lies? The Americans and British are so corrupt from the pits of their bowels that even their cameras take crooked pictures. I am giving you all the information you need to make right decisions. I will take you myself to Saddam, and he will give you grooming tips. I will do this IN ONE HOUR.
Do I need to bring my own clippers?
These are the questions of a dog, so what you should think about is other dogs. Now that you have washed your genitals, you should squeeze them sternly and slap them vigorously. Stuff them into your mouth so you cannot speak before you say even more crazy things.
Clippers are not necessary, but you must to be sure bring dollars.
What is your favorite video game?
What’s your sign?
Also, what does broiled stomach taste like?
It’s eerie, I tell you. Has Lib been posting anywhere else? 
What is the official Iraqi policy towards my birthday next week? Should I expect prezzies from you and Saddam? Should I risk opening prezzies from you and Saddam?
If you died, would Joe Goebbels spank you?