I’m confused. Like many people, I was amused by Mohammed Said al Sahhaf’s daily briefings wherein he told big whoppers about the status of the war. I was therefore saddened when I heard that he had committed suicide by hanging when the coalition forces entered Baghdad. Now, I understand from watching CNN, that he is in hiding in Baghdad with his aunt. He is negotiating surrended to the coalition forces as long as he gets protection. I heard that an arab news channel wants to hire him as a commentator/analyst. What’s the straight dope? Is “Baghdad Bob” dead or alive?
According to some Arab news sources he was negotiating surrender:
Tha was last weekend, and also it is a source in the opposition-in-exile (the INC). I’d wait for confirmation.
About that news channel, you heard correctly:
However, al-Aribiya does not claim that they have actually contacted Sahaf, just that they are willing to talk to him.
In short, the evidence is still sketchy.
There were reports he had hanged himself near the Iran border a couple weeks ago, but those were not confirmed, and were withdrawn in short order.
Your question is pointless. The Iraqi Information Minister is safe in Baghdad where there are no Americans, none. He has continued to perform his duties as the spokesman for the Iraqi Government and its people as victorious Iraqi forces repel the infidel invaders. I would take you in my car to show him to you personally, but unfortunately I can not because you will not all fit.
We will all know in one hour. ONE HOUR!!!
We’ll never know for sure. If he is dead he’ll only deny it.
29 April - ABC News Australia reports that Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf (M.S.S.) has been at his aunt’s house in Baghdad for the past four days, and has asked US troops to arrest him so he can be “protected”. Adel Murad, of the Patriotic Union of Kurdistan, says US troops have refused because he is not on their “most wanted” deck of playing cards… al-Arabiya satellite channel has offered M.S.S. a new job as a commentator and analyst. “We want to benefit from the experience of Mr Sahaf and his analysis of the current situation and the future of Iraq,” said the station, without giving details of the job package… wow, we have nothing funny to add to that, speaks for itself.
- Goodness knows what dinner time must be like with him and his Aunt …
His headstone would read “I’m not dead! Never!”
(Scene : well-to-do home. A minaret is visible in a window, subtly informing the audience that this is a home in a Muslim country. Portraits of a well known face inform the audience as to which Muslim country. The phone rings.)
Sahaf’s aunt (offstage) : Oi! Mohammed! Get the darned thing!
Sahaf : Yes auntie! (enters stage, picks phone) Hello?
American voice : Hello? May I speak to Mr al-Sahaf please?
Sahaf : (pauses) I’m sorry, but you’ve dialled the wrong number. This is the Baghdad Market Grocery Department. We’re out of potatoes, but have just received a fresh supply of month-old tomatoes. Can I interest you in an order?
American voice : The President of the United States would like to speak with you, Mr Sahaf.
Sahaf : How did you know it was me?
American voice : There haven’t been any tomatoes in Baghdad since 1995, Mr Sahaf. Please hold.
Dubya : Good evening, Mr Sahaf.
Sahaf : Er… morning, Mr President, I’m sorry about … er… everything… but…
Dubya : Can it, man, I’m one of your biggest fans! Can I offer you a job in the Department of Homeland Security? I need someone more convincing than this Ridge guy I’ve been saddled with…
Can I interject witha further random question about Mr Mohammed Said al Sahhaf:
How did he get to such a high position in the (previous) Iraqi government without sporting a moustache?
Was there not some unwritten law that all men had to wear a moustache to serve Saddam?
Or did I dream it?
Aunt: You haven’t finished your couscous, Mohammed.
Al-Sahaf: The couscous has been completely annihilated. There is absolutely no couscous left on the plate. With my right hand I smote the couscous until it begged for mercy.
Aunt: Nonsense. You’ve hardly touched it.
Al-Sahaf: This is a complete fabrication. My belly swells like a minaret with the vast amount of couscous I have consumed. By the prophet, I swear it is true.
Aunt: Don’t be silly. Here, have some dates. They’re delicious.
Al-Sahaf: These dates will be smashed to pieces on the courageous molars of Al-Sahaf. They will rue the day they lay drying in the sun. I can assure you that these gangster dried fruits will throw their shoes away in anguish, when they realise that they are surrounded by our victorious teeth.
(sorry, couldn’t resist it)
Man, what is it with this guy? If he had any sense, he could come over to the US and make millions, as the new Jim Varney type character, know whut I mean, Vern?
Is he an idiot or sumpthin? Oh… [/realizes a stupid question]
Everyone knows his aunts makes a lovely roasted stomache.
“The Information Minister sported a luxuriant growth of facial hair, almost as thick as Ari Fleischer’s afro. However in response to criminal US sanctions he donated it to a poor entry-level employee who could not afford one. Accusations that the wearing of mustaches in the cabinet is mandatory are nothing but the lies of sellouts at Al-Jazeera, may the desert sun blister their bald heads.”
Y 'know, we enjoy this dude too much. But I see poetic justice in that the US don’t want to take him into custody: “No, you can’t turn yourself in to us. We’re not here, remember?”
(a) as-Sahhaf is Shiite, never part of the inner circle, said not to have been close to the powers-that-be.
(b) Man is harldly an idiot, he’s command of multiple languages and can be creative, even amusingly creative in them.
© Live or dead, he at least had fun with an impossible job.
I wish his website was available so we could get some updates, but it got too many hits…
t’was: I love the Iraqi Information Minister dot com
Most Iraqis do wear mustaches, but it’s not a law, it’s a custom. I was just reading a very interesting New Yorker piece this morning about a man who was one of Saddam’s doctors - and he doesn’t have a mustache or the typical short hair. Perhaps he’ll start a trend.
Well, most Iraqi MEN wear mustaches, anyway. But I meant to say something else:
IT’S JUST A FLESHWOUND!
:rolleyes:
Shocker: Handy posts sans reading other posts. Hey, but you got one in there, Ol’ Chum.
repeat: