Ask the old Fart who is finally just learning to play hockey

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
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Good luck with it. Learning the basics is always the way to go. If you can afford a couple of lessons that makes it all the better. One of my friends in the program is doing just that on Thursdays and it has improved him enormously. Enough so that he gets to play defense, which is a position requiring a good deal of skill.

And as you are becoming a Hockey Nut then you should make sure you don’t miss any of the Olympic hockey games. It should be a good series especially between Team Canada and Team USA.

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My husband knows how to skate (playing hockey tonight actually - though he’s struggling with an old knee injury), and he’s more than willing to teach me, so lessons are free! He played hockey (defenceman) until he was 14, then gave it up for competitive swimming (and then within 2 years blew out both his shoulders, so that was the end of that!) He’s promised me that we’ll go skating this weekend!

If I ever play hockey, though, I really do think I’d rather be a goalie, but I’ll start with a puck and stick and go from there. I just imagine that, given as I have absolutely zero depth perception, I’ll either be fanning or breaking lots of sticks on the ice!

And yes, I’ll be watching Olympic hockey! There’s a hockey game at some level or other on TV nearly every night here (NHL, QMJHL, even WHL on RSN), so I watch a lot of it already! I’m going to have a tough time during the Olympics, though, as it coincides with my midterm exam period!

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Keep up the posts, I’m still reading and enjoying them. You’re making me very envious too!

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Week 8: DEFENSE! DEFENSE! DEFENSE!

Sorry for the late posting been a busy week. So This week we worked on Defensive positioning. Zone defense to be specific. Each player has their quadrant of the defensive zone they should stick to and not chase the puck about the ice like a swarm of bees. Well that is what we were taught to do.

The rest of the practice was working on just that. I can proudly say as a team we gelled perfectly, we were poetry in motion we cleared the puck each and every time.

I can say that. I’d be a liar but I can say that.

No instead we fumbled about and were beaten each time we headed fro the net. After 45 minutes of that nonsense it was agreed we would start to practice outside of our regular Monday’s. This week we did it Wednesday!

Because I’m loud and took initiative I got to lead the practice using Drills from My son’s hockey team. To be honest it was kinda fun. We did passing and shooting drills as well as some skating drills. By the end we all had a good work out and I think some people gained some confidence.

If I’m not replaced next week I have a few more ideas to help out. Can’t wait as Next Monday is our last regular lesson. We have a long way to go against other teams but I think if we add the regular practice with drills (The other guys are just doing shinnys) we may get stronger as the season goes. Hopefully when we play the tournament in 9 weeks we’ll be ready to win it all… Or get at least a goal or two.

Until Next week…watch your zone and practice practice practice!

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**Week 9: ** OFFENSE, OFFENSIVENESS, and OFFENSITIVITY!

This was a very inactive practice this week and really I could sum it all up with one sentence.
Here it is: We learned the 2-1-2 or Triangle offense and practiced it.

There that’s it. barely worked up a sweat.

But I’ll tell you that wasn’t the whole story.

Let’s start with the thing that offended me the most this week.

THE FREAKIN’ UNEARTHLY UNHEALTHY STINK from one of our players. I know in sports people sweat and they smell, Equipment can emanate some nasty oders and a hockey change room is no bouquet of nose niceness, but this isn’t any of those things. This is a wall of stench from equipment only removed from the bag when worn. This was splotches of mold across the shoulder pads, mushrooms growing out of a bag and a visible trail of stench following behind the guy.

DIRTY FILTHY VILE GROSS AND DISGUSTING, are the first words that flashed through my feeble mind as I tried to avoid contact of any kind. We joked cruelly… trying to hint that perhaps some sort hygiene through cleansing fire was in order but the only response was “Yeah , well I do fabreeze the bag.”

Not enough by a long shot. Firing that reeking pile of fibrous fungus that has long since replaced the actual plastics and cloth of your gear into the sun would come close to a solution to the problem. Except it may well extinguish all fusion on our closest star.

Ugggh. Then he has the gall to complain how dirty a change room was. Lord save me from looneys!

Finally our choice of team Captain, based on his organizational abilities has been mocked by our coach because the guy is also our goalie. I can see how that doesn’t work on the ice, that’s why we have assistants, still, the coach referred to him as the team mascot twice.

It has given him a complex and he believe the coach hates him. I think he may be over sensitive about it. I can understandwhy he feels picked but I see it more as just ribbing (Considering the team as a whole hasn’t been anywhere near impressive during practices) than an attack.

What can you do?

The point, I believe the coach was making, is that we need someone with the rest of the team to get us organized. I’m not sure who will do that. I have tried to help out where I can including running a practice and trying to keep morale up in the locker, but am far too worried about upsetting anyone, and very unsure of myself to even dare to dream of usurping the Captaincy.

All I just want, is for us to do well and gel as a team. With one practice left to do this, it isn’t going to be easy!

Oh well.

Until next week… wash your damned equipment!! PHEWWW!

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Thanks for udpating and keep posting. Regarding posture and back aches, have you had your skates profiled? This was a tip I did not get for the first few years, but helped my back. You get your skates profiled for forward (you and me) positions. For forwards you want the skates blades slightly tipped front to back, it forces you to lower your centre of gravity more (The downside is it makes skating backwards a little harder)

It was a while ago but I recall asking for a number 4 profile, the lower the number the more aggressive the profile, (But I think it also varies across skate manufacturers.) Not all skate sharpening shops do this, you will want to find one that knows what their doing. But be warned if you do this, the first time you get back on the ice you will probably fall over, it feels very different at first.

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**Week 10: ** Graduation Day

Well I feel fortunate that I could skate this week. Wednesday’s practice ended with me pulling a muscle behind my knee. For two days I could barely walk. But with rest and some meds I got myself back onto skates in time for the final Hockey school class.

The last lesson has now come and gone. It was supposed to be about the Neutral zone and Faceoffs. The Coach didn’t show so after skating around for 5 to six minutes we and the other team we practice with decided to Do an impromptu shinny. We set up our lines and played.

I won’t lie, I was certain that our team was not going to do well. Our goal for the week was 1 goal. Normally that wouldn’t be setting a high standard but in all the times we’ve played (half shinnys, practices and what not) we have never scored a single goal. I figure one would be a high bar to hurdle.

In the end We got 5! In fact it was a 5 to 5 game.

The instructor arrived 35 minutes into it and instead of doing a lesson he refereed. (Suddenly there were off side rules, thank god!!) What a work out. Our shifts got messed up and a few players not understanding their limitations stayed on the ice far too long.

By the end one of the guys could barely make it on the bench. He had pulled a four minute shift. Not only did it mess up line changes but it made it so others players playing his position got less time on. We will have a talk about that and try to do a one minute rule. He balked at that time but seriously watching out there he used up his usefulness on the ice after his first minute. After that he was chugging along and then struggling to get on the bench. Not good in the long run.

As for myself. Not a great showing. I touched the puck maybe twice. I felt like I was just skating back and forth and not doing anything. I did try to challenge for the puck and made sure the player didn’t have enough time to make a good pass. Hopeful the sight of a wobbling over sized goon racing towards them would make them panic a little.

Still I didn’t feel like I was helping the team.

Next week is our first official game… I hope I can do something, maybe even get a shot on the net. Who knows maybe even score a goal.

We’ll see, until then I have one team practice and one unofficial shinny to improve.
I have to get more confident on my skates and go after the puck more.

Well for the next 7 weeks its a game a week, then the final Weekend Tournament.

Until next time… No more pencils no more books…

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GAME 1

The team had to make a few changes in our line up due to weather conditions preventing some players from making the game. After a quick warmup one of our wingers discovered the Kid earning minimum wage at Canadian tire didn’t know shit about sharpening skates. His edge on his right skate was completely missing. He could barely move and had to get off the ice. Luckily the arena had a shop that allowed him to remedy the problem.
First Period So with only two shifts and three wingers we hit the ice against a full strength team. Trying desperately to maintain a 1 minute shift and change we found to our horror we could not get out of our zone. Some shifts lasted as long as two or three minutes. It was exhausting.
After the first 10 minutes there was 6 goals. It was a miracle… that we didn’t get more against us.

Second period… I’m getting the feeling that these guys aren’t all exactly beginners. Some of them are doing cross overs. Wait not just cross overs, but cross overs while skating backwards!!! positionally they are perfect. While we flailed like beginners. At the end of 12 minutes (Periods are 10 12 10) they racked up another four goals.

Third period I had to keep from loosing all hope. More of the same as the last two periods… but then I and my new wingmate managed to get the puck down the ice… we passed to each other, got over the blue line and I managed to get two shots off… both deflected by the defense. Then suddenly the ref blew the whistle. Too many men on the ice.

Couldn’t have been us because we barely had enough people to put too many men on the ice.

Now we have a powerplay! Things are going to change we have a chance!

Ok… I’m a level headed guy, only prone to the odd flash of anger but only under great duress so you have to believe me when I say that what I was watching was so horrifying that I was on the verge of a complete melt down. No only could our defense barely touch teh puck when they did they didn’t clear it. 1 short handed goal!
Still a minute and a half of powerplay. 20 seconds in another short handed goal!
WTF!!!

My shift came in 10 seconds later. I’m in full rage… not at my team mind you… we only have 10 weeks experience with the game, but I was furious at the situation. I roared onto the ice and plowed right to where the puck was fighting off two players in blind fury. I got the puck out and tried to move it ahead to no avail. Their perfectly positioned defense man was waiting to poke it back in. We quickly got it out but by then my adrenaline fueled power was gone I limped to the bench spent and feeling light headed.

That’s when I noticed the mercy rule was in effect. The scoreboard showed 5 0 and the clock did not stop running. The game ended 13 0. what a fun way to start.

We lined up and shook hands with the standard “good game” mantra knowing full well they were smugly wondering who we thought we were even coming onto the ice. Mind you we had the same thought. It seems that there are, in fact, a few non beginners in the beginner league to fill in the numbers. It also seems one team has a fair share… or at least they have been able to help their team mates get their game up a level or two.

I may be wrong. I’ll judge by how the other two teams do against them.

Sigh. A week to rest a little and do some cardio. Next week we go against the second best team in the league. If we can hold our own I’ll be happy.

Until next game… never give up never surrender… never delude yourself about your abilities after a few weeks.
Luckily

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Keep at it! And I’ve seen teams that played better with 6 guys than they did with a full roster.

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Am so glad to see these updates!!! Keep 'em coming. Man oh man I wish I was back playing…

Running beginner teams is tough, because people always stay on the ice too long. Basically you only have time to do one good hard shift up and down the ice - then you have to get off. The problem happens when people go back down into the defensive zone one minute into the shift - now they’re stuck on D for 30 seconds - and then, when they should be coming off as the puck comes out of the neutral zone, what do they do but of course, 'they want to play offense now!". Lather, rinse repeat. Nothing, I repeat, nothing, will make teammates tear their hair out than the guys out on the ice for three minutes at a stretch.

And of course it’s always the, shall we say, less than highly skilled ones that do this - the decent skaters skate hard the whole time - and stopping/starting is exhausing - so they are completely gassed after a minute…

Best bet is to try and get someone (friend? injured player not playing?) to sit behind the bench and help run the lines. Makes things a lot easier.

Anyway - keep up the good work! From what I read you sound like natural captain material; I’d just let nature take its course…

And pictures! We want pictures!

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Love the updates. I watch juniors and it’s always fun watching. The best are good enough to jump to the NHL. Yet there is enough youth in the new prospects they’ll still fall on their ass occasionally pushing the envelope.

Fun hearing some input from a real beginner.

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GAME 2: The agony of defeat

Another week and another game. This time the second best team who thankfully are more of our level. There was much cross talk in the dressing room as we tried to figure out how to do better. I gave up after three or four completely different ideas are thrown about.

Instead I let the guys have it out and only give the line ups. It wasn’t too hard as we were short players due to illness, injury and I assume apathy. We scraped together two plausible lines with one extra player and hobbled out to the rink.

Period one: An excellent start as in the first two minutes we scored! Up one nothing we felt buoyed. After a few battles and some back and forth I end up on the ice to see the next goal… this time against us. I have given up on figuring out my plus/minus after last weeks thumping. We struggled and there were a few good chances but in the end of the period we were down 3 to 1.

Second period: A few good chances and some decent passing holds the score. Then I come onto the ice and have the puck to me free and clear. No one behind me and a defense man over the blue line.

" MUST CLEAR THE PUCK!!" Screams in my mind and I pull off a beauty tape to tape pass over the blue line and into the neutral zone. Suddenly I hear “OFFSIDE! OFFSIDE!!” from the ref. Huh? Who is offside? It was then I notice the goalie is wearing the wrong jersey.

damn

Yep. I was clear to rush towards the net and attempt a goal. The defense was behind me… Instead I passed it offside. OOO the stupidity of that moment burned with the might of a billion suns.

Had to shake that off and continue. I hit someone by mistake, and they toppled me. Whoah… they have a good centre of gravity. We were switching up pretty quickly but they had more bodies and our gas was ebbing. On the bench I was dying… At least I wasn’t blacking out.

Penalty!

Our guy got a tripping penalty. He admitted later it was deliberate. We all still agreed it was a bad call just to be contrary.

I end up in a race for the puck that I just miss and I fall to the ice and skid midway down the ice and into the boards. I was going slow enough and adjusted myself so as not to go head first or feet first. I enjoyed the ride and even the thump against the board.

3 goals later I noticed many of my team mates were gassed, but they were trying their hardest.

Third Period: Another goal. Sigh. I was angry for only a moment but realized hey I’m here to have fun. I gave up any illusion of winning and played as hard as I could for the pleasure OF JUST BEING ON THE ICE.

Now I know from watching movies that Patton “doesn’t give a hoot and a holler for a man who looses and laughs” but I didn’t care anymore. I just wanted to play… maybe even get a goal.

I got one chance but was one stride to late from poking a loose puck into the net while the goalie fumbled towards it. I ran into a female player on the boards in front of her bench(Not at any high speed mind you) I held her up from falling and after a few awkward seconds I asked if she was ok. She said yes. I said “oh good in that case…” and dug the puck from between us and shot into their zone.

A couple of goals later I was on the ice again for the last minute. My fellow winger, a young woman who has great skating and stick handling skills but no hockey knowledge and I raced to the net. She had a shot and their defense man was on her. All I had to to was lift his stick for her to make the shot. I just missed it. The puck was recovered and sent out and I coast away as the final buzzer sounds.

Final score 10 to 1.

A better showing than last week and I think we are improving. We actually spent time in their zone and there were shots on net. So there is an improvement.

The end of the game My friend shows a sign his daughter brought to the game. “Try and win” That was good enough for all of us to burst into laughter in the dressing room.

Next week is a battle for the two last place teams. It should be a closer game.

I know I’ll be there charging and chugging and puffing away. Until then… I’ll give a hoot and an holler, cause without that we might as well pack it up and be miserable and really, who wants that?

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I just saw this thread and read it all.

Welcome to the best sport in the world. I reckon I’ve skated more miles than I’ve walked but I still love just getting on the ice.

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kingpengvin , tank you for sharing your story on these pages… I read your posts as a thrilling sports novel - you should publish :slight_smile: So it 4 years passed since you started to play … Did you continue playing? Did you move to the next level? Share your experiences (I’ve also started to play this year at approximately the same age so it would be nice to hear from you again )