Ask the straight, white, married, employed guy

Being a representative of a socio-economic group that is a misunderstood, persecuted minority group on this board, I feel it’s my duty to offer myself as a source of information to clear up any ignorant stereotypes that may exist regarding us.

So, Dopers, is there anything you’re curious about regarding straightness, whiteness, marriedness, or employedness? I’m not embarrassed to answer any and all questions. Fire away.

This has already been done.
To death.

Dear SWME Guy,

How do you do it? I mean, your type has conquered Western Culture, which everyone knows is the Pinnacle of Human Civilization. What’s your secret?

signed, One of the Poor, Downtrodded, Unwashed Subhumans

OK. You’re on a tough par three, 180 yards uphill into the wind with a water carry to about 160, a front right bunker and a mid-green pin placement. You’re playing a friendly game, not tournament rules. Your partner hits first, and sends the ball to the back of the green. When you ask him what club he used, he shrugs nonchalantly and says, “I just used a knock-down 8.”

Are you allowed to slap him upside the head, or just surreptitiously walk across his putting line when you get to the green?

Dear SWME guy:

[li]When did you first learn that you were white, single, married, and employed?[/li][li]How did you tell your parents?[/li][li]Do you recruit others or practice your lifestyle in private?[/li][li]Have you ever been in one of those Swimmy (S.W.M.E.) parades?[/li][li]Do you ever have, you know, urges to check out BET or Queer as Folk?[/li][/ul]

Okay, my first question is: How, exactly, have you been “persecuted”?


But, there are many things I can’t believe. :smiley:

Marriage: is it more than just a piece of paper? Honestly, did the act of marriage somehow change your relationship? Was it an extroverted act of confirmation? Purely economic decision? There are many reasons for people to get married, what do you feel was the deciding factor?

I’m straight, white, employed and unmarried. Three out of four. How can I get into the meetings?

I too am a Straight White Man With A Job (SWMWAJ) in corporate America in a few months and thus share your pain. I see from the previous posts, we are already held with contempt because of one of the following:

-We don’t advocate tearing down the corporate system to live on communes out in Montanna.
-We haven’t been oppressed lately.
-We enjoy shows like ‘Sex in the City’ and ‘Friends’ instead of their gay counterparts ‘Queer as Folk’ or ‘Will and Grace’. (Fortunately, there is no gay counterpart to ‘The Sopranos’, except maybe ‘Oz’).
-We enjoy the company of other Straight White People With Jobs.
-We enjoy driving nice cars instead of rusted out shitboxes
when we can afford to.
-We choose to live in the nicest house we can afford.
-We believe the best way to get a head is through education and hard work, not bitching and moaning.

Oh, is that all it takes msmith? Then sign me up. Are we allowed to play video games?

*Originally posted by msmith537 *

Then what are you whining about?


I’ve got a question:

What’s up with sports? Take football. You’ve got a bunch of guys hugging each other and patting each other on the behind. Then, after getting all hot and sweaty, they all strip naked and shower together.


*Originally posted by SexyWriter *

Nothing really. I just like being an upper-middle class white guy.

I have to go to J.Crew now and pick out some summer clothes. I think I’ll take the Volvo.


May I add a twist?

What does one do when one is Straight, White (and mind you terribly WASP of the DAR sort to the Nth degree) employed by a multinational and also divorced? Does this exclude me from the SWMG category?

(In re ARL: I tend to view marriage as a fit of stupidity actualizing social pressures but must admit this position is highly suspect due to the aforementioned biases.)

On the other hand, what if one doesn’t really care for either friends or will and grace (circa a couple years ago, obviously not up to date on this) but perhaps marginally prefers w&g?

To quote Paula Poundstone (I think), “If you SWME guys really do rule the world, how come you can’t stop wearing neckties?”


Since it looks like the OP was just making a statement with this thread and has no intentions of sticking around for the consequences, let me make a statement as I also happen to Straight, white, married, and employed.

99% of life this crap doesn’t make any difference. I have had certain good fortune, and certainly I have worked to make the most of it. 1% of the time I’ve found myself at a disadvantage because of my background.

I have always felt that I posess enough talent and inherent worth to overcome that disadvantage, and I feel that while I’m free to grumble at specific circumstances and seek to change them, as a whole, being white, male, heterosexual, and married works as an advantage for me in society that I would otherwise not enjoy if I were different.

Therefore, as a whole, I think it’s kind of shitty to complain generally, even though I feel I don’t owe anybody for the luck of the draw I’ve enjoyed, and which I’ve capitalized on through whatever worth I have.

Usually such general complaining is the mark of the inferior person regardless of their sexual, racial, or economic background. Good and bad people, winners and losers, will remain so independant of these vagaries.

Personally, I specifically enjoy these boards because of the diversity, and that because here, there is no status quo, here, I am a minority of one. In one thread I may be locked in bitter debate against a radical fool I share nothing in common with, and he/she may be my ally in the next.

Hey, give me a break - there’s a real life I gotta deal with. I was indeed trying to satirize the number of insufferably self-oriented threads on similar topics we’ve seen lately. Congratulations for noticing.

Stuffinb, why are you calling this the “opposing” thread? It started earlier than yours, which would therefore be the opposing one by definition, wouldn’t it?

Collounsbury, we’re all individuals, and we appreciate you for your own special self.

msmith537, we’re just like anyone else, right?

Sexywriter, (nice name there - got me interested), having just written a large check to the IRS, I feel persecuted. That seems to be enough to qualify.

aynrandlover, marriage was an act of mutual commitment toward the woman I knew I wanted to lkeep living with permanently. I think that’s the only good reason to do it, and it’s sufficient, too. But I wouldn’t have done it if I’d had any qualms.

Libertarian, my parents always knew what I was, as did I, and they even hoped I’d turn out this way. Being a live-and-let-live, make-your-choices-and-accept-the-consequences kind of guy, I don’t recruit anyone. I don’t get BET on my cable (Spanish and Italian stations, yes, but not black), and I don’t watch Queer as Folk.

Manhattan, feel free to insert that 8-iron into one of your partner’s ears, sideways. That kind of response to a simple, friendly question is inexcusable.
OK, friends, keep 'em coming.

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Collounsbury I would tend to agree with that statement. But what is DAR pray-tell?

Elvis, you can’t commit without signing a piece of paper and having a ritual? I just wonder about that whole “white culture” thing. :wink: Did it change your relationship?

Daughters of the American Revolution. Or as I prefer to call them, the Blue Haired Old Freaks.