Ask The Teenager II !

In My Humble Opinion
21

Hmm, I disagree with their judgment on many things. I think that they should be more accomodating to someone who is 18 and has a spotless record. I think I would probably be less controlling with my children.

Sure, although I think that the older a person is, the more likely they are to prejudge or stereotype. Then again, we give just as much as we get.

I’m in Literature of Sport, so we don’t read anything that could be called a classic. In Honors English last semester: Oedipus Rex, Cyrano de Bergerac, Night, Hamlet, Macbeth, and Crime & Punishment; as well as a few others. I read lots of stuff for fun. The Autobiography of Malcolm X and Cryptonomicon are two I’ve my favorites and have both been read at least six or seven times.

The district requires several books. I think that pisses off the teachers even more than it does us.

For the most part, my teachers have been fair and kind. Although, about 10 percent are either out to make things as easy as possible for themselves or take out their painful childhood memories by pushing us around.

22

[ul]
[li]Sophomore at the most expensive HS in Illinois[/li][li]Argumentative![/li][li]Not afraid to offend.[/li][li]Dislikes women in general (no girl power here, folks)[/li][li]Pretty damn smart, but I act like a ditz.[/li][li]Rarely ever says anything positive.[/li][li]Talks. A lot.[/li][li]Hates being the same as anyone else.[/li][li]Anal about grammar/spelling/punctuation.[/li][li]Doesn’t give a damn what anyone thinks about her.[/li][/ul]

Queen Isabella, I wish I was as cool as you when I was in 8th grade! :slight_smile:

About the baggy pants:
Mostly, it’s the guys who wear them. Most teenage boys also wear boxers. Boxers are uncomfortable in tighter pants (I know from experience) so the baggy pants give them plenty of room so the boxer legs aren’t all bunched up and uncomfy.

About the hair:
What about the hair? Didn’t know it was so darn offensive.

Do I hate my parents?
Boy, that’s a hard question to answer. My dad is generally pretty cool. My mom and I have our good days and our bad days…

Well, my short teenage attention span has kicked in. I’m outta here until tomorrow, folks!

23

Teenagers. Sheesh.

24

Do you ever worry that your school might become the next Columbine?

25

Would it kill you to turn the music down? I mean come on!

26

What could your parents do to help? With school, friends, personal issues, etc…?

27

I currently have a 7 3/4 year old. (That’s the way she puts it. :)) At this time our drug talks consist of me looking at her and saying, “Don’t do drugs. OK?” Maybe occasionally pointing out a stoned or drunk person as an example of why not to do drugs. (Nobody ever even mentioned it to me, so I figure I’m at least one step ahead with her.) When should I start the serious talks? Do you think it’s better to lie about ever having tried drugs or tell her the truth including exactly why I don’t do drugs anymore?

Don’t do drugs - Frances McDormand Almost Famous

28

My parents are very supportive and know when to back off of me. They are there for me when I need to talk about personal problems and I know they are concerned for me so i feel comfortable telling them stuff. Sometimes, though they almost try to get too much information on topics i just am not comfortable talking about. Thats when i tell them to back off, and let me try to figure things out.

Defintely NOT. Do not lie about ever doing drugs. Come clean, tell her what and when and why not anymore. Tell her everything, don’t keep any secrets. I am tempted now to ask my mother and father certain things like when they lost their virginity, but cant due to the gross factor… But if you were to tell her what you did and why you dont anymore, it would let her know you can relate to her and she might be able to understand when you freak out if she were to do that stuff.

29

Columbine:
Somewhat. I don’t think about it all that much, but our school doesn’t have many security measures AT ALL, so I do think it definitely COULD happen. I don’t really worry about it too much, but I think about it rationally as a possibility.

Music:
Actually, I blew out one of my speakers in my car back when I first got it, and ever since then, I’ve been careful not to play it too loud. Most teenagers though, I agree with you about.

Parents:
I don’t know. I’m at the point where I think I know everything. Not really, but I really would rather try things how I want to try them. Mainly, I guess, let me do things I want to do unless you have a REALLY good reason not to (and “because” isn’t a REALLY good reason).
Also, when I want to be left alone, leave me alone. Other than that, I don’t know.

Serious talks:
I’m not extremely experienced in this area as my parents apparently don’t believe in serious talks. I have NEVER been given a serious talk about anything (drinking, drugs, sex, etc.), although they may figure that the way they’ve raised me (going to church, always telling them where I am and stuff like that) speaks for itself. Largely it has, and I haven’t done anything really bad. Depends on the kid. I figure you should wait until at least middle school.

Lying in serious talks:
I say give information by request. Don’t volunteer it unless it comes up. IF it comes up, DO NOT lie.

30

Which part? The part where you set everything on fire and robbed ATM’s or the part where you raped women in the mosh pit?

Seriously though. I have a question as I’m a little bitter towards teenagers at the moment.

Is it possible, just remotely, that I may know a tiny bit more about the basics of psychology than you, seeing as I studied it in college and you took one class of it in highschool?

OK, that was mean…here’s a real question…and it’s just because I’m 28 and I have a crush on a seventeen year old.

If I, just for fun, told this kid (a friend of the family) that I thought he was gorgeous and had a fun, innocent crush on him…would I be laughed at by his little crew for the rest of time, or would that be a nice compliment?

jarbaby

31

jarbaby:
It’s ok, you could have just TOLD me you had a crush on me, rather than revealing it to the whole message board, but whatever works. . .

Seriously though, if you’re the type of person he and his friends would go out with (excepting the age difference and family friendship if those would be problems), I don’t think you’d have a problem. Even if you’re not, and he’s a nice guy, I’m thinking he’d take it as a compliment (I know I would, anyway) but maybe not tell his friends if he thought they might make fun of him (or you).

32

Not at all. The press hypes it up but it doesn’t happen much and there isn’t much the school can realistically do to prevent it.

Music definitely sounds better when it’s loud. I think that older folks would play their music loud too if no one knew. Seeing as I have no reputation, don’t know 99% of the people I see, and will probably live somewhere else for the rest of my life; I will enjoy my music at whatever volume is reasonable. My only concession is turning it down at stoplights.

Stay out of the small things, give me advice on the big things. Set a good example while acknowledging that they aren’t perfect. Have realistic expectations and let me make my own decisions.

If you weren’t really weird or ugly, it would definitely be a compliment. He wouldn’t be embarrassed, he would probably tell everyone he knew.

If you want to have a serious relationship, that might be dicey. You probably have a very different life and I don’t think it would be a very even relationship.

33

When I think about the phrase “teenagers think they know everything” I think back to my own teenage years and my perspective during that time period. While I certainly knew that I didn’t have the worlds knowledge stored in my brain I firmly believed in the accuracy of what I knew (what I thought I knew) and I thought that I had a very good grasp on moral issues (i.e. I could decisively say what was right, what was wrong, who was right, who was wrong, etc.).

The older I get the less sure I am of things that I “know”, issues (scientific, ethical, financial, etc.) seem more and more shaded with subtlety and nuance. It seems sometimes as though theres an exception or incompleteness to every rule, classification, thought process, system, philosophy, etc.

So, to the questions…

  1. How certain are you of what you “know”?

  2. How do you grade what your parents “know” about life issues (drugs, sex, education, money, relationships, etc.)?

  3. How do you grade what your friends “know” about life issues (drugs, sex, education, money, relationships, etc.)?

  4. To what extent does your peer group influence your behavior?

Grim

34

What I know:
I agree with you that while I don’t know about everything, the things I know about are pretty set. I can look at things with an open mind, but once I’ve learned something, it’s there. I’ve questioned the religion I’ve been brought up in, and as a result, it made me stronger in that religion. I’ve questioned the importance of grades that had been inculcated into my very being from age 5, and that led to a realization that there are other facets to being a successful person. So, while I’m sure of a lot of things that I know, I’m still able to look at things with an open mind.

What my parents know:
They know tons. Way more than I do. About THEIR lives, THEIR experiences, THEIR world. While some of that carries over into how things are now, a lot of it doesn’t. The problem comes when they are SURE of what they know (about their world) and I am SURE of what I know (about my world) and those things conflict.
What my peers know:
Being in advanced classes, I have exposure to the more intelligent teenagers in my highschool, and I think a lot of their feelings are comparable to my feelings and opinions. A lot of teengers, however, I feel have more “street smarts” kind of knowledge and less philosophical or cultural type knowledge, they may be less able to question what they’ve been taught, and to take it to an extreme, to think for themselves.

Peer group influencing behavior:
It influences my behavior some, it influences others’ behavior IMMENSELY. I act basically the same in most environments, except sometimes for those in which I feel comfortable with my surroundings. When I feel comfortable, I let go a little more. School, church, at the mall, at home even, I act generally the same. However, this may not be a good indicator of most teenagers, as I discovered two of my peers from church, when in other situations (non-church related) act COMPLETELY different from the whay they act in church. Completely different meaning swearing, laughing at people, talking badly about people, acting in a mean way, etc. I think it just depends on the person, but I’m betting I’m in the minority in this case.

35

i am a culprit of this. When i hear a REALLY good song or just as i drive, i am continually turning up the volume of the stereo. I dont even relize how loud it is…
It is just SO much better to sing along when you are sure your voice is drowned out. :slight_smile:

36

Credentials:
*junior in high school
*attending small college preparatory school on partial scholarship
*some honors classes, some regular classes, one AP course
*south florida [anyone ever heard of boca raton? I live thisclose to it]

Clothing issues: People tend to follow what’s popular and what’s popular is based upon convenience for certain members of society. There are about half a dozen reasons why different kinds of teenagers started wearing baggy pants. Some range from the amount of space to store things to other little “interesting” reasons. Personally, I think girls dress funny these days and would like to refrain further comment on the way the fellow members of my sex like to parade themselves around, but I’ve got a question for you: why do most if not all people over 60 or so wear their pants up to their breasts/chests?
saving for retirement: It’d be nice if I had themoney to do that now but I don’t have a job unless you count mooching off my parents. Just remember that whatever money they take out of my paycheck for social security is never going to make it to me with the way they’re spending it nowadays.
drugs/rock and roll: We still do crazy stuff in this day and age, just like you did. I personally don’t use narcotics, but I do drink socially. Now, on to the music: our music is just an evolution of the music of your time. Get over it if you don’t like it. :slight_smile:
*1. How certain are you of what you “know”?*Everyone knows different things because they see the world from different perspectives. I just happen to be telling you what I know from my POV.

*How do you grade what your parents “know” about life issues (drugs, sex, education, money, relationships, etc.)?*I think my mom’s pretty clueless and so is my dad. I think I learned about sex from my older brothers and from books mostly. I know that I will try to keep informed for my possible offspring.

*How do you grade what your friends “know” about life issues (drugs, sex, education, money, relationships, etc.)?*Some of them are clueless in some of those areas, and others are very learned. I will tell you one thing: I’ve had to explain sexual stuff and relationship stuff to people way too many times over lunch/dinner with friends. Never make me talk about the G-spot in the middle of a crowded restaurant again please.

*To what extent does your peer group influence your behavior? * Not really. I do tend to do silly stuff and important stuff of my own volition, but I guess the weirder things that are safe are from influence of friends.

37

Credentials:

*Senior at a public high school of about 500-600 students
*Taken classes at the University of _____

What was the last “classic” that a mean old English teacher made oyu read?

The Great Gatzby…

Retirement Money: I have none…unless you count the $600 or so I have on a bank account.

How do you grade what your parents “know” about life issues (drugs, sex, education, money, relationships, etc.)? Pretty much…(part of the reasons I have for not trying drugs/alcohol, etc…I KNOW they will found out about it)

To what extent does your peer group influence your behavior? Me…not much, everytime they try to, it ends with sweet and sour results. But peer pressure sure influences other people at my school.

Would it kill you to turn the music down? Depends on the music…most music I listen with the volume turned down, but when I hear some classic (for me) like “Hotel California” or “Hey Jude”…well…I feel the need to turn the volume up

Do you ever worry that your school might become the next Columbine?

No…I am part of the outcasts, and no one around has the feel, urge, to do that, or the weapons to do it.

Serious talks: Parents don’t lie. If you do not want to say it directly…at least hint it, or name it in some other way…but dont say you did not use drugs when you in fact did.

Do teenagers still start smoking “to be cool?”

I do not know about smoking, but I know about drinking…and all I say…bunch of ^@#$! Also, smoking weed, they start to be cool…same note as with the drinkers.

38

My credentials
9th grader in a school of a bout 1200
In debate, Thespians(a theatre thing)
play lacrosse
am opinionated
plus I am basically an observer of our school, since I don’t
like to interact with most of the people.

What was the last “classic” that a mean old English teacher made oyu read?

*Inherit the wind *

How do you grade what your parents “know” about life issues (drugs, sex, education, money, relationships, etc.)?

I think my mom has a pretty good grip of what I do and don’t do, (I don’t really do anything bad so not much to tell,) but I know there are some thing she has no idea about

Would it kill you to turn the music down?
I really don’t listen to my music loud, but the guy I ride with in the morning wired his car just to listen for loud music. In my school, I think it just is a status thing. Loud car=cool.
Do you ever worry that your school might become the next Columbine?

Constantly. I school has the exact same problems, the taunting, special treatmeant of the jocks, no punishments for verbal assault, extreme cliques. Plus, I am one of the “outsiders” and the first thing I thought after I heard all the details about Columbine (in 7th grade) was "I am not suprised. Mabye this will get through their heads. Sad thing though, the reaction in middle school was “Big deal. It didn’t happen here.”

Do teenagers still start smoking “to be cool?”
Alot of my friends smoke (I never can, my mom can smell anything on my clothes) and I think thet to it just to fit in, and also they smoke because they are depressed and stressed.

Do you hate your parents?

Right not, I am in a big “fight of wills” with my dad, he calls me too liberal a thinker, and liberals will be the downfall of us all, and I say he is a anal-retentive jerk who needs to realize sometimes the enviroment is almost as important as the oil under it. But, no, I don’t hate them.

The clothes deal.

  • The clothes are rebellion in my view. I go to school in one of the richest parts in my state. Most of the parents are uber-conservative. Kids like to tick parents of in little ways. Clothes is one of the. So is hair. So they dress in baggy clothes and dye their hair. It almost seems my school is all blonde somedays.*
39

  1. Most of the things I “know” are either factual or based on my life experiences so far. When I have new experiences, my outlook will change. Whenever you first start learning about something, it seems simple. Everything worth thinking about is filled with tough choices and contradictions.

  2. They want to do things their way and aren’t very open minded. Logic and other yummy things don’t work too well. Whether they’re driven by wisdom or arrogance is beyond me.

  3. We’re still at an age when we don’t have to worry about major things. Different friends have different views and had different opportunities.

  4. I’m pretty stubborn. My friends accept my major decisions, but small things are definitely argued over. Because 90% of them have no stake in my life after this year they don’t have a stake in my success or failure, so they’re usually pretty honest.

40

*Senior at a public school of 1500 in suburban Connecticut
*In all honors classes, one AP
*Attending University of Connecticut in the fall
*Varsity member of the track team (shot put and discus)

What was the last “classic” that a mean old English teacher made you read?

The Divine Comedy by Dante, which I loved. And my teacher isn’t mean or old - he’s the best English teacher I’ve ever had.

How do you grade what your parents “know” about life issues (drugs, sex, education, money, relationships, etc.)?

I’d have to say that my parents are rather clueless. They still consider teenage life to be akin to when they were teenagers, even though it is much different now (in a manner of speaking). Thankfully I don’t smoke (although I do occasionally puff the ganja and drink). I get excellent grades, held down a job that I quit for track season (though I do have a tidy bundle in the bank) and am generally a good kid.

Do you ever worry that your school might become the next Columbine?

I have my worries, yes. However, I’m confident in the astronomically small possibility it will happen.

Would it kill you to turn the music down?

Yes. Loud music is good.

Do teenagers still start smoking "to be cool?"

Yep. And I seriously believe that’s the ONLY reason they do it.

Do you hate your parents?

Most of the time, as I can be an angel and they’ll still complain my halo isn’t polished enough. You get the idea.

The clothes deal.

Don’t ask me - I wear khakis and Hawaiian shirts. To be cool? Nope. It’s my personal style. However, I do think that a lot of people wear certain clothes to “fit in”, such as the A&E and Abercrombie crew, along with the “all black vampire-teeth 18th century goth” crew.