Not sure where this belongs – it’s not exactly a GQ.
I am going to see my 14-year-old son next saturday for my birthday. (He doesn’t live with me.) Usually, we hang around showing each other funny videos on YouTube and watching things like Bam Margera and “Owies”. But this time, because it’s an especially festive occasion, I want to do something a little more special. Unfortunately, it’s the day before I get paid, but I do have some money.
He’s into skateboarding and Nirvana. Recently I took him to see an all-ages hardcore (punk) show because a friend of mine books them; however he was underwhelmed. I have taken him to the nearby skatepark which was great, but we just did that really recently.
I was thinking maybe paintballs – does anybody here do this? Is it expensive? How does it work? (the setup, not the equipment.)
Who has some other ideas? Please feel free to ask your sons & daughters and report back to me.
Laser Tag is fun, although it can be a bit expensive (I took he and a friend today and they each played two rounds- it was $32 total, before pizza etc).
My teen boys love paintball. It is expensive and I’m not sure how it works. I know they don’t have their own guns or any kind of special clothing. I drop them off in their regular clothes and pick them up later. They go maybe once a year with scouts or church.
Even more fun is laser tag. It’s more affordable, fun for all ages (so you’ll have a blast too) and you can go in any weather or at night. If he has asthma the fake smog could bother him.
My son’s a big fan of laser tag too, but I was going to suggest something corny instead.
Have him help you make something, or fix something, or paint something, something he’ll be able to look at later and get that cool “I made/fixed/painted/etc. that!” pride. Not something silly, like suddenly inventing a ship-in-a-bottle hobby and making one that’ll gather dust on a remote shelf and never be spoken of again, but something useful.
Kids oughta be working alongside their parents, learning how to do things and learning how to be an adult, and it’s even harder to find the time and patience for that when you’re the non-custodial parent. I know my son still talks about doing some decorative landscaping something or other with his father from a weekend three years ago, hence my suggestion.
However, as you’re going there instead of him coming to you, I’m not sure that’s at all doable. Start a new birthday tradition of detailing Dad’s ride?
Queen Tonya: he’s coming to me, actually. And that’s an excellent suggestion. I must ruminate on this awhile to think of a meaningful project. (maybe helping splint whatever I break playing laser tag? )
That is a challenging age in terms of finding things you can do together. Each of my kids is different in terms of what they like. I vote for asking him.
Why not share with your son one of your interests that is important to you? What an excuse to do something outside the norm of the normal teen experience in which you get to share you knowledge and expertise. He may like it or he may not. If he doesn’t like it, you shouldn’t have to apologize, you gave it a shot and the kid should learn that the world doesn’t always revolve around him every weekend.
Crazy stuff I made my 16 year old daughter do with me on my B-day and Father’s day that she would never ask to do in a million years: Mexican Folk Art Exhibit, Hiking on a granite dome, go to real Texas Dancehall, go to an Airshow, float down a river in an inflatable raft, road trip to a small town with a noted BBQ place, visit NASA, Pro Baseball and Basketball games and a lot others I can’t remember off the top of my head. I made her try food of every ethnicity that is available. All in all, we have made some great memories and plus she learned a bit about me, making our relationship stronger.
Mesquite-oh, I’ll tell you something: When I was about 16, my dad took me to a place that he went to with his friends on rare occasions. (fishing trips or something.) It was way up in the mountains somewhere and sort of en route to an errand we had to do. It was called the “Alpine Beer Garden”, and it was about as masculine a place as I can possibly imagine. Pool tables, beer in plastic cups in the patio, and flame-grilled hamburgers served on grilled sourdough rolls. I loved it! I have never forgotten that day.
Now, I did take my son to see some belly-dancing last fall. It was a professional competition. He seemed to like that okay. And a poetry reading; fortunately it was also a potluck. And he’s a nice enough kid that I know he would enjoy himself for my sake even if it sucked. But I want us both to have big fun.
My son is 8, but my 15 daughter is more of a guy than most of the guys she hangs out with – so I will give you some of her suggestions:
[ul]
[li]BB or paint guns, ammo and targets – trust me, you want to get targets, otherwise they have to find a target, never a good idea![/li][li]nice pocket knife[/li][li]Wii (or PS3) and games, right now my daughter is wanting Halo or a WoW account[/li][li]laptop computer[/li][li]dirt bike/scooter[/li][/ul]
When I was 14, I nagged my parents for a new bed - the kind with a desk in the middle, closets either side, and a bed on the top of the whole thing. Instead of getting me one, or denying me one, my dad sat me down and helped me draw up plans for one, then took me down the hardware store and bought me the materials, then gave me access to his power tools, safety lessons and advice. It taught me a hell of a lot about DIY, and the sense of achievement I got when I finished it was immense.
Laser Quest is where we play, it’s a lot of fun (WARNING: SITE HAS REALLY ANNOYING MUSIC- BE PREPARED TO TURN IT WAAAAAAAY DOWN).
It’s $8 per game ($5 if you become a member), but the arcade games in the lobby area are all driving, first-person shooters or air hockey (and they are all at least 50 cents or a buck…). We have a great time, and I do mean we- parents can have as much fun as the kids.
Laser Quest locations also do cool parties, overnights, lock-ins, etc.
It not having been that long since I was a 14-year-old boy (well, eleven years), I’d like to point out that I would have happily spent weeks playing laser tag at that age.
Actually, I still would - there just aren’t any laser tag places in the city anymore
I’m glad somebody resurrected this thread – I just now walked in from dropping him off.
We took the 20-minute train ride to the faraway 'burbs to play laser tag. The weather was perfect, balmy, breezy. It was indeed $8 per person per game. And we had a blast! We totally pwned the other team, by almost a hundred points. (and they had a very respectable 200 pts.) My son won me a hideous purple care bear from the claw machine. (Excellent, because I could then chase him around with it going, “But I *wuuuv * you!”) The laser tag really was a lot like playing Quake. Except no cool floating armor. He had never done it before either, and we both really loved it. Also, we played air hockey, about the only arcade thing I’m good at. Score: tied at one game each, just as it should be.
In the interest of doing something that I like which he would not have done on his own, a good idea mentioned above, we also went to a punk barbecue. The band, well, they sucked; and they had some unorthodox barbecuing methods, but my boy said the food was awesome and he was very tolerant of everything else.
Queen Tonya: Thank you, and thank you for asking! I still really like your idea about doing a project or working on something together. That’s something that I used to cherish doing with him in the past and it would be even more valuable to us now. I really miss helping him with his homework and playing Scrabble and stuff too. One time, we made a batch of gingerbread men and women for his class when he was in grade school, right before Christmas, and we decorated them together. I have never forgotten that. Anyway, the wheels are turning on that one too.
Thanks again everyone for your help. Today was just what I wanted, big fun all around.
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