As-shat would work too. I offer the following;
As in - you remind me of something I have shitten.
As I shat I immediately thought of your post.
My fecal excreta is incredibly similar to your grey matter.
You are very similar what has been shitted.
…I think you get the point…
As-shat!
You can get one from your friendly neighborhood asshabidasher.
I seem to remember an episode of That 70’s Show where Red threatened his son Foreman that he would be “wearing his ass for a hat”, which led later in the episode to Foreman saying that if he gets caught doing something, he’ll be stuck with an asshat.
IIRC.