Astronaut, no question. Astronauts are the elite of their class. Astronauts are trained for rigorous hardships, and they would have a knowledge of anatomy that could make short work of a caveman. There is nothing the Caveman can do the Astronaut cannot.
It may sound trite, but having watched Kung Fu movies is fight training. An Astronaut doesn’t need fancy hand to hand skills, because they will have practiced some self-discipline even if it’s not a martial skill. They will be in peak physical condition and have understandings that a caveman would not. Anyone who knows the nervous system can take a shot at nerve plexuses. A caveman would be working with brute force and savage intensity to win the battle.
Noticed your link had the lyrics to the theme song. This reminded me of the verson we sang as kids.
The real song:
It’s about time, it’s about space,
About two men in the strangest place.
It’s about time, it’s about flight -
Traveling faster than the speed of light.
This is the tale of the brave crew
As through the barrier of time they flew.
Our song:
It’s about time, it’s about space,
It’s about time to slap your face.
SLAP!
The Astronaut cannot overcome the Caveman’s technological edge.
Sure, he’s got a clunky space suit and an orbiter, but that’s not much good against a flint axe, fire-hardened spear, and atlatl. More importantly, the Cavemen are skilled in using these weapons against mastadon, bears, sabre-tooth cats, and other people.
Sure cavemen lived in a much harsher environment than astronauts do, but that doesn’t necessarily prepare them for melee combat. They’re probably quite good at throwing spears and tracking animals, but humans were not designed for hand-to-hand combat with nature. You think caveman fought sabre-tooth tigers and mammoths hand-to-hand? No, they threw spears at them from afar. Take away his weapons and a man, no matter how it was raised, becomes pretty helpless against nature.
If they are both unarmed (and unsuited) I’d have to give it to the astronaut, because he has been specifically trained in unarmed combat. Even if the caveman is physically stronger, he wouldn’t be all that much stronger than an astronaut, and technique can overcome slight disadvantages in strength.
So are the adolescent winners of the national spelling bee.
If the cavemen attack in classic “one at a time” fighting style, as is so common on the streets of Hong Kong, you might have a point. But I’m still sticking with astronauts having more in common with a physically fit Poindexter and cavemen having more in common with the guys you see on ultimate fighting.
Well, they certainly fought each other. These cavemen are almost certainly actual combat veterans. And as for strength, again it depends on what kind of “cave man” you are talking about. A Neanderthal is likely to be not slightly stronger, but much stronger.
Wait a minute. Are you talking about the clean-cut All-American astronauts from 1960s, or the crazy diaper-wearing maniacs today? Also cavemen have been corrupted by modern society as well.
The astronauts of today would go postal on them. The cavemen, drinking their martini, would be like “eh, whatever”.
You know, those clean-cut 1960’s astronauts were fricking badasses. You find a guy who used to be in the war, who WANTS to be strapped onto several hundred tons of high explosive because he thinks it’s FUN and you have a guy who also eats buckets of nails for breakfast and would think that beating some caveman ass would be a pleasant vacation.
You forgot to mention “with a bourbon hangover, two cups of black coffee for breakfast and busted slats so you gotta smuggle a sawn off broomstick on board just to close the hatch.” Those guys were bad motorscooters.
True, the astronauts (esp. the 60’s ones, who were largely drawn from the Marines, the Navy and the Air Force) were bad motorscooters. But that particular bad motorscooter was Chuck Yeager, who refused to join the NASA program on the grounds that it was too wussy and passive to be “Spam in a can,” i.e., a passenger instead of a proper pilot. So he just kept on breaking atmospheric speed records in his own personal arms race with the likes of Scott Crossfield and a Soviet pilot or two.
Chuck Yeager and his most rarified ilk were badasses.
You know, a caveman is likely to actually have hands on experience killing animals, and there’s a good chance he’s got some experience killing other human beings as well. While the caveman might not understand the finer points of anatomy, I’ll bet you he’s got a pretty good idea of where he needs to hit someone in order to make it hurt. So let’s see where the advantages lie.
Killing Experience: Caveman. The astronaut may have had some hand to hand training while in the military, and they may have some better grasp of anatomy, but the caveman has practical experience killing things with primitive weapons that he astronaut is extremely unlikely to have.
Technology: Caveman. Sure, the astronaut knows about flintknapping, but knowing about it doesn’t mean you’re very good at it.
Knowledge: Caveman. Yes, the astronaut is intelligent, but the caveman is intimately familiar with his surroundings because it is so important to his survival. He’ll know how to find water, where to find game, and how to use the environment in ways that the astronaut will not, even if he has gone to survival school. These things weren’t all that important to the survival of an astronaut. Yep, basic survival school is designed to help someone survive a few days only. It doesn’t give them the same level of knowledge they have about their surroundings as a caveman would.
The most realistic(forgive the irony please) scenario is one group turns tail and runs like hell. If one group has an advantage(such as spears, flint axes, or 1920’s style “death rays”) the other is probably going to run like fun. Also, ancient humans were more animalistic in their behaviors, and animals may fight, but they do so to establish dominance or defend territory/kills. Fighting to the death is extremely rare. Astronauts wouldn’t want to kill if they didn’t have to, so they’d probably choose the “run away” option if it were available. But, for the sake of arguement, say they are both determined to eliminate the other.
The astronauts have one almost insumountable advantage. Communication. They can work as a team and improvise techniques to take the cavemen down. When you’re not limited to grunts and gestures it’s easier to work together. Most of the cooperative measures cavemen employed were used against animals without the adaptive capabilities of humans. i.e. if you spook a mastadon it will run off a cliff. You can’t do that to a modern human. With modern communication skills the astronauts will be able to devise and implement plans on the fly which would negate the advantages(ape-like strength and bone density depending on which era of “caveman”) the cavemen may have physically.
That and the matter that he was too big to fit into a Mercury Capsule.
And lest you fool yourself, try reading about the difference between the Aurora 7 flight, and the Sigma 7 flight, then come back and tell us there was no piloting involved.
Well, if Tom Wolfe’s “The Right Stuff” is to be believed, NASA had no intention of installing flight controls for the astronauts. That changed when the astronauts becane such powerful media figures that they could demand changes to the capsule designs.
Cavemen don’t have language all of a sudden? Too me “caveman” means either Neanderthals or early humans, like a Cro Magnon. These guys’d have plenty of language skills to organize and outwit. Neanderthals were prolly a tad slower than us, but with their knowlege of the surrounding area, I’m sure they could formulate a better plan, and faster.
I think even older hominids were likely to have some kind of language, though it might be limited to hunting commands. Which, luckily, is what we’re doing here.
Cro-magnon likely had langauge and if that were the case then
so did neaderthals and homo sapiens. I suppose we have to limit the time period in which the caveman existed. The paleolithic era is a bit long but we can limit our time frame from the middle to upper paleolithic era. During the upper paleolithic era we’ve tool such as arrow straighteners and needles made from bone, sophisticated methods of producing stone knives, axes, and spear heads, bone/fish scale arrowheads, and of course sophisticated artwork.
All this shows me that cavemen were capable of abstract thought and sophisticated communication. It doesn’t hurt that you occasionally find evidence of trade which makes a good case that they were capable of communication.
I suspect that depends on the group of cavemen in question as hunter/gatherer societies who survived into the modern age were a mixed bag. Some of them were extremely peaceful while others were extremely belligerent. If the astronauts come into contact with a belligerent group of cavemen then they will be facing opponents who have likely killed other men before.
