Prompted by another thread and, coincidentally, an unrelated conversation I had with a friend of mine recently.
Would you as an atheist be willing to bring up your children religious? If so why? Would you be happy to bring up your children open to the idea of faith (or lack thereof) or would you flat out say to them “there is no God, anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong”.
In the conversation with my friend, he had a friend who was raised Catholic but eventually lapsed and then became an atheist, as is quite resentful of some of the hang ups that the Church gave her. But she also said she’d probably raise her children Catholic as well as it would give them something to be part of and get involved in. For me I’d do as my parents did which is be willing to discuss the issue and say what I think but not try and tell the child that they have to agree with me and be willing for them to get involved with religion if that’s what they really wanted (actually for a while I went to Sunday school because some of my friends did and I wanted to join in, didn’t last though).
Hell no. I’ll let my child do religious studies at school (if they are still an option like they were when I was a child) and I’ll try not to let my beliefs colour what I tell my child when we discuss what other people believe and why, but I will not raise my child in a religion that I don’t believe in.
Well…maybe. My background is Jewish, and I’m an atheist. I would consider sending a child to Hebrew school (not day school, though) to learn about Jewish culture and traditions, but I wouldn’t fake being uber-religious at home.
I wouldn’t force any dogma on my child. There’d be a lack of religion in the house and I wouldn’t go out of my way to educate them on religion but if the kid showed interest then they’d be supported.
That is almost exactly what my parents did. I was about 25 when my father actually told me he was an atheist. I knew a long time before that but he didn’t feel the need to put his beliefs on me.
If I was to fill my child with my lack of religion I’d be no better than the people who force religion on a child.
I’d hope they get comparitive religious studies at school, and I’d explain the requirement for ritual within a society - and how in this particular one this is often expressed through church-based ceremony, and therefore one should be polite when attending weddings, funerals, etc. But that’s as far as it would go.
I would also express that “some people believe in [insert deity there], but I don’t, and here’s why… It’s up to you to make up your own mind.” This is the approach my dad took regarding politics, and I thank him for it.
Mind you, I’m not going to have kids, so it’s irrelevant.
You can take the girl out of the church, but you can’t take the church out of the girl. Or that’s what they say.
My husband is an atheist raised Catholic; we are raising our children Roman Catholic. It’s pretty common, really.
The thing about being Catholic is two fold: one is that for people raised in that way, the notion of the community of the faith is very strong, and they want that for their kids. The question of God’s existence is then somewhat beside the point. For other people, it’s very bound up in their cultural and family background and outlook on the world such that it is difficult to imagine the one without the other. This is also true of many of the Orthodox faiths.
Bingo. Being Jewish means that this is my kids ethnicity too. I want them connected to their cultural past, and for us that means a connections to the religious aspects as well. There are a surprising number of atheists at our synagogue (a funny blend of conservative and reconstructionist).
My kids (10 and 13) know that I’m atheist but I love being Jewish and take enjoyment from participating in ritual.
Since there is no requirement for an expression of faith, I have no conflict bringing them up Jewish. (One of my son’s friends just had his Bar Mitzvah and his whole speech was about reconciling his atheism with his religious study).
No. If they (my children) asked me to start taking them to church/mosque/temple or whatever, I’d take them. If they asked me about religion and the existance of deities, I’d give both sides of the argument to the best of my ability. I’d be perfectly fine to keep them informed and allow them to make whatever choices they had.
But, convincing a kid about something that no one has any authority what-so-ever to declare a done deal, particularly if it’s something like, “You must obey and speak only positively of your parents or you’re GOING TO BURN IN HELL FOR ETERNITY!!”, is just plain off fucked up.
My husband is an atheist, and I am agnostic, raised Roman Catholic.
We didn’t push our beliefs onto her, ever.
We sent our daughter to Catholic grade school.
We did this, because it was just a much better school than the public schools (The student-teacher ratio was 2, if that tells you anything). She got a much better education in the Catholic school than she ever would have in a public school (at least in this area), but that’s beside the point.
She also learned much about the Catholic religion.
It was, and still is, up to her to decide if she is a believer or not.
As it stands now, she’s 20 years old, and she sort of believes there is something out there, but she’s just not sure what it is.
This is something she’ll have to decide for herself.
I guess that’s where her ‘faith’ (or lack of) would come into play.
This seems like a really strange question to me, though I see it isn’t to many of you. I can’t imagine myself raising a child in any religion because I don’t have any interest in or knowledge of a religion to teach them. It would be like trying to raise my child to be of a different nationality or another species.
I suppose they’d be exposed to religious ideas at some point through their friends or even other relatives, and I’d definitely discuss those ideas with them if they brought them up, but I’d never broach the subject myself because I would just never think of it. It’s not a subject that ever comes up in the course of my life. If a child of mine did want to explore a religion, I’d be supportive (in most cases), but I would be very proactive about combating any religion-inspired intolerance or hatred as a matter of principle.
I’ve no choice in the matter, in Northern Ireland religious studies are mandatory right up until age 16. But outside of that, I wouldn’t force something on my child that I saw as wrong.
No. I would encourage them to learn about religion, but I would always make my own beliefs on the matter clear, as well as the reasons for those beliefs.
This. Totally this. I’ll add that if my children express an interest in any particular religion, I’ll want to know why. My fairly atheistic kid suddenly wanted to be baptized because he went to church with a friend who talked it up a lot. I told the kid to write an essay on why he wanted to be baptized. He said he didn’t want to do all that writing. I told him that baptism was a pretty big deal in the church, and that if he didn’t care enough to write about it, he definitely didn’t care enough to be baptized. He dropped it and doesn’t seem to have regretted the decision at all.
To raise my kids in a religion would be a huge hypocricy. You might as well ask if a Catholic would bring up their kid atheist, or if Bill Gates would bring up his kids Communist.
Yes and no. If my kid wanted to go to church I would (and have) take him. I would try to answer any questions in a fair and thoughtful way, which is what I really want him to learn. I wouldn’t “raise” him to be a Catholic or Baptist or whatever.
Now that my son is in his late teens I see a certain cultural gap in his knowledge that would have been filled by church.
He has never had to get up on the weekend and dress nicely. Most of his friends do this. If you have a teen you know, it would be nice to see them dressed and awake once in a while.
He doesn’t understand references that are common in our culture. Christianity is sort of a shared mythology that pervades our lives, even us atheists. I use phrases like “No room in the inn” and “burning bush” all the time.
So, I guess when they invent an atheist church, with bake sales and picnics and shared references and internal politics, I’m make my family go. Or maybe we’ll just sleep in.
I left the RCC when I was 7. I decided it was just too silly back then. My beliefs about the church have not changed much. My wife is a non-practicing Jew.
Our kids are being raised without any religion, but a decent dose of fantasy and imagination that does not rule out the existence of a supreme being or God(s) or the IPU.
Every once in a while, I consider joining the local Unitarian church, but then I quickly change my mind. I don’t really like churches & temples and I don’t like religious ceremonies. I am tempted far too often to cry out Bullshit or now thanks to the SDMB taint, Cite!
I do find myself being snarky about religion and churches. The more organized, the less I tolerate them. My daughter (10) seems to already be picking up on this. It appears she has God filed in with Santa, the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairies and other delightful childhood imaginary creatures.
The last Bat Mitzvah we attended for my wife’s cousin’s daughter was 3 hours long, followed by a 4 hour party, followed by a 3 hour party. This put to an end, any thoughts my daughter ever had of having a Bat Mitzvah. She found the day to be long, boring, loud, obnoxious and horrible. I actually agreed with her. The ceremony itself was the worst part. I will not attend another. If my daughter does not want to go, I will let her stay home with me.
My son on the other hand enjoyed the Bat Mitzvah and will probably want to go to the next one. He also still believes in Santa, God, the Tooth Fairy and the rest.
First, because I look upon religion as vile, stupid and destructive, and I’d never inflict that on a child. By my standards, it would be the equivalent of teaching them that they’ll die horribly if they don’t smoke as much as possible.
And second, I find it extremely difficult and uncomfortable to lie, even about trivial things. I doubt I could bring myself to tell my hypothetical child that Santa Claus is real, much less God.
Not really much of a conflict for us Jews. My family made no secret of the fact that they were into the whole Saturday school and temple thing for the culture - and no-one cared.
With my son, I faced a difficult dilemma, because my wife is Catholic: how do I tell my Protestant best friend and his Muslim wife that they were not Catholic enough to be godparents to the son of this Jew?
No, partially because I wouldn’t want to, but partially because i’m not entirely sure I could, because I’ve not been religious at any point.
I’m not sure i’d teach them atheism, though. “This is what I believe, but I could be wrong”, more. As much as I think i’m right, i’m not going to damn them with my mistake. As long as they honestly think about it, whatever they choose is fine by me.
