Ladies, while I enjoy watchhing your little …competition, I really would rather not participate…really…
No…No…don’t come any closer…I don’t want any of you naked…oiled…sweaty…ummm…women on me…really…nope, not at all.
Opening up my satchel, I withdraw the bald, pink, scorched and near-dead cat from the Guy Stuff thread.
Taking out a tube of K-Y, I lube up the pussycat and chuck 'im over the wall into the mass of writhing bodies. “This is gonna be great,” I say in my best Flounder voice.
Byz glances up and sees him descending first, a vague look of recognition crosses her oil-stained visage.
“MMMREEOOOOOWW!!” it shreiks, zeroing in on the naked women.
Athena extricates herself from between Falcon’s slippery legs and tilts her head skyward. “Ah, shit.” is all she has time to think before the jelly-slathered feline strikes her in the head and attaches itself to her face.
“Now… let the games begin!” ChiefScott chuckles.
come on in pizza guy! yells Orange. Jelly?Alright!I got peanut butter!<she scoops ouit some p.b. and mooshes it all over Byz!“You’ve got peanut butter on my breasts!” “You’ve got your breasts on my peanut butter!” Okay guys,who’s hungry?
(knock knock)…Athena…Honey… I’m trying to sleep and I’ve been hearing the strangest nois…BAM!!! GODDAMNIT!! WHO IN THE HELL PUT GREASE ON THE FLOOR!
Shadowfox slowly stands back up, rubbing her sore ass and muttering…“Goddamned hippies…can never get one minute of peace in this damn place! Oh wait a minute…beer and quiche?”
(gingerly sits down next to Chef and grabs the tray out of his hands)
Shadowfox
“We are what we pretend to be.”
- Kurt Vonnegut
Orangecakes takes peanut butter;slathers it on Byz!“You got peanut butter on my breasts!”
“you got your breasts on my peanut butter!”
Hey,anybody hungry?
Crew rest is over! yells VB, skinning out of his flight suit; “hey Orangecakes! hand me some of that brea…umm…peanut butter!”
YO, Shadowfox, be a good wench and save me some of that quiche(unlike some svelt heifer I know!)
VB
TANSTAAFL!
If Orange start licking the peanut butter off Bzy then I am definitely going to buy the tape.
Jeffery
“I do not stutter, I posted twice because I know you are slow.” Byzantine mutters. She whispers something to orangecakes about the peanut butter and then turns back to Sealemon.
“Let’s get it on? What kind of fight did YOU think this was going to be?” She hefts one of the balls of socks, unravels it, fills the toes with peanut butter and then ties the ends together. With her mighty arm she swings the device at Sealemon, tangling his legs together and knocking him to the floor. Before he can get up she has straddled his chest, pinning his arms to his sides.
“Ah, now, look what we have here…”
Hey Byz, straddle my chest next, huh?
I’ve got some fresh oil here! Anybody need ‘recharged’?
VB
TANSTAAFL!
And the men lurking quietly in assorted corners of the room go wild, cheering "Sealemon!Sealemon!Sealemon!
lets see if we can cover Sealemon completely!
Gimme the chocolate syrup!
Hey Byz!move back a little!
Oh well, I guess the only thing left to do is surrender to Byzantine now…
Yeah, right.
< Byz’s triumphant grin faulters, as she feels something press against her…lower area. She turns her head and looks down, to see the Super Soaker pistol in Sealemon88’s hand. Its barrel is pointing at a fairly sensitive area. >
“Tobasco sauce”, Sealemon88 whispers. “Ready to have something interesting shot up your ass?”
< As his finger tightens on the trigger, He utters > “Now, repeat after me. Sealemon88 is my king…”
“you’re next, orange!” 
You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.
Athena comes to Byz’s rescue! She steps behind Sealemon, holding a squeeze bottle of 100% Habenero Extract with a long, flexible hose attached. “This might not stop you from hurting Byz, but I’m sure you’ll burn just as bad, sealy!”
She deftly sticks the hose down Sealemon’s pants, and prepares to squirt that bottle… unless, of course, he gives up…
Peanut butter?! Dammit, you completely ruined the viscosity of this event!
“You had me at ‘Hell no.’”
Oh my Gosh!ThatsNOT a super-soaker!!
Ya want viscosity?
Heres some ranch dressing!
Oh Athena. You silly person. I eat at Pancho’s Mexican Buffet all the time! I’ve had the Three Mile Island Wings at hooters! Bently Style (That where jalapeno peppers are mixed into the crust, and the wings are marrenated for 24 hours. you can smell the wings 5 minutes before they reach your table)! I’ve lived through the “elimination” process afterwards, and came back for more the next day!
Hell, have you read the Guy Thread? My ass is fireproof!
I can handle a little hot sauce! The question is, Can YOU?
< That’s right about when you notice the second Super soaker pistol in my other hand. >
You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.
“lookit!Is that the moderators over there staring at us?!”
Orange jumps on Byz!whoops,I slid right off!
"Lets make a human pyramid!"she said,her mouth full of Jif!
Thanks for ‘dressing’ me up, orange. Mmm … is this the powder-packet kind of ranch, made with real buttermilk?
I gotta go now,must clean up and re-stock.But I’ll be back!orange takes one last lick off of Byz,wipes her mouth,backs out the door…
(Is it just me or would almost any man here love to be in the position I have Sealemon in? I mean, really. Pinned down, at a lusty woman’s mercy… but not Sealemon. No, he wants to hit my privates with hot sauce. Are you INSANE?!)
“King?” Byzantine asks, “King of what? Me? No. I don’t have a King. However, we could play a round of master and servant; guess which one I am.” She grins down at him. “Oh, and Vestal Blue? I’ll get to you in a moment. Let me finish with slippery boy here first.”