Attention snowboarding and skiing WhoaFucks: Please report to the bunny hill for your lesson.
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Do not crash into people.
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Do not sit in a line across the middle of the hill.
3.That is all.
Actually, 3 is look before entering traffic, but I ski better than I keyboard.
- Don’t swing your legs on the chairlift if you sit with me. I couldn’t care less if you fell to your death, but I’m not putting my life and/or limbs on the line because you’re bored. Next time, I might be inclined to push you off the chair and get it* over with already.
*It: worst case scenario… though I like to think I have more self control than that. No guarantees, no returns, no refunds.
My parents were into nordic skiing, so I learned how to do that instead of alpine. I didn’t get on a slope until high school and it takes a new set of skills, to some degree, to make the switch. I quit on my first day out after I knocked down a little girl on the bunny slope. It didn’t help that I hadn’t been on skis in several years before that.
I’d also like to add…
- If you don’t fucking know how to ski a black diamond, DON’T FUCKING SKI A BLACK DIAMOND TO SHOW THE FUCK OFF TO YOUR FRIENDS! I don’t want to have to worry that some little novice show-off is going to take my ass out because they’re trying to snowplow down the advanced slopes and they lose control.
(I haven’t been skiing in several years, but I seem to remember this being one of the big problems the last time I went. I’m a fairly competent but careful skier, and I was actually nervous going down some of the advanced slopes because of these fuckwits.)
E.
Pssst…While with them on the lift, just wax bodacious about how kickassgnarly the glades are, and how anyone with the true hairy sack of a real man will ski them right this minute to taste the glory. Let insecurity, peer pressure, and the trees do the rest.
A fellow from Scotland once tried to do that to me.
5a. Also, if you have never been off a jump before, stay in the small terrain park or even try learning before you go in there. At the place near me, there is a small terrain park and a large terrain park…or the “big boy” terrain park. I am sick of having to stop and wait because you fell down on the way up to the ramp…
Brendon
And then there was the day a WhoaFuck thought that the berm about the parking lot was a jump. He did pretty well in launching, but the landing between the bumpers of a couple of cars was rather messy. He was medivaced out by a helicopter.
Try telemark skiing.
Oh, the joys that some get to witness. I’m so glad I had a good teacher with me when I first learned. It’s nice to have someone like that, because they can tell you - “hey, don’t jump there…or there…or there”
I’ve watched several new kids on ski’s slide right past the stopping zone in front of the lodge and hit the hay bales put out to stop you from hitting a brick wall or concrete. I’ve also seen several hit the concrete. Not pretty…
Brendon
That’s why I head straight to the double black diamond runs… You’ll pretty much only find the truly hardcore on those!
I’m not brave enough for those :D. I’ve been skiing since I was three years old, but I’m really, really cautious - it takes me half the morning to work up to the advanced slopes because I don’t go more than once every couple of years. I’ve gotta find my ski legs again first.
This thread is really, really making me want to go skiing, though.
E.
Is it wrong of me to have laughed at that?
I guess both you and I are going to hell.
That’s the frustrating thing about early season skiing here (north-western Ontario) – not enough snow coverage for the steep runs yet.
Hear, hear! Its rather disgusting to have to ski through a ‘red patch’ of snow ( and I’d imagine its even less fun making one). Some of it comes down to where you ski also. Are there 20 yellow school busses in the lot every Friday night from December through February? Maybe you want a place further away from huge non-skiing population centers.
Back when Dinosaurs etc, Vernon-Valley-Great-Gorge was where urban and suburban youth went for their compound fractures and CPR. Last I heard, it was Hunter Mtn. (And I used to wonder as a kid who’d drive 16 hours away to ski. :rolleyes: )
6. And if you do know how to ski a black diamond please be advised on the blues that I **am not ** a (pick one) -
a. Gate
b. Mogel
c. Jump
d. Tree
so while you are flying past me (and I’m going as fast or faster than those around me) don’t yell at me to duck, turn, piss or moan.
6a. And I’m glad that we are friends but if you do know how to ski a black diamond please do not drag me or trick me into getting on one. At my skill level not only am I clogging up the run and keeping advanced skiiers from enjoying themselves, I’m wearing myself out trying to navigate a course that I am clearly not ready for. I don’t enjoy the mogels at 1/3 speed. They take five times the effort to navigate but at least I’ll get through them all the while enduring the comments of elitist passing assholes who think that it was my idea to traverse on skis what was surely meant for rock climbing.
My very first day of skiing a few decades ago…
I had crashed on every square inch of the bunny slope, but was finally getting the knack of it. It was late in the day, I was cold, tired, wet, and ready for the bar that was right at the base of the bunny slope. I headed that way in a nice, slow, deliberate, controlled pace.
And got clipped from behind by a girl who was out of control. Lucky for her she hit me, she would have crashed into the bar otherwise. Unlucky for me, she damned near crippled me. Now add “in severe pain” to my list. As I sat in the bar, waiting on the rest of the crew to get down, I thought to myself that I had had just about all the skiing I could take.
The next morning I was back at it and actually got pretty good at skiing over the next few years until I retired from the sport in '88.
I’m all for letting 'em crash into the bar - why should you suffer because someone else is an idiot? How in the hell does one get THAT out of control on the bunny slope?
The last time I went skiing, a family friend brought his girlfriend, who’d never skied before. She’s one of the ones who thought it would be fun to ski a black diamond. She’s also one of the ones that I was getting pissed at because she’s ski right into someone, and laugh like it was funny. I told her the second she skied into me, she’d better get up and run down the slope because I was going to kick her ass. She thought I was joking and laughed again. (I wasn’t…I didn’t like her anyway, but this just gave me an extra reason to dislike her…).
She ended up with a sprained ankle at the end of the day, and she’s lucky that’s all she ended up with.
E.