Attention Teens: What is it like to be a Teenager these days?

In My Humble Opinion
1

I don’t know if many teens hang out here so maybe question should be directed at parents or older friends of teens. Any answer welcomed!

My son is 18 years old and, luckily, he still gives me snippets of his life every now and then. It’s usually when I just shut up and let him talk. Other than that, it’s like trying to get information out of a P.O.W.

From what little I know, it seems that teenage years have gotten harder since the 80’s. Here are some snippets of what I think I know of today’s teens (mainly high school age):

** Most teens drink alcohol and drugs (pot, at least) or have tried

** Racism, particularly between whites, blacks, and browns, is still around and prevalent in some areas

** Bullies these days can be “harsher” than they used to be (maybe I’m too influenced by too many new stories on this one, like the myspace girl suicide and the occasional school shooting)

** Homosexuality has become more popular and/or out in the open

** Certain words have popped up or changed meaning, like “tight”, “sick” and “loser”

** Lots more fighting, popularized by youtube, the UFC, and fight club movies

On the other hand, maybe this stuff has always been around in full force but I was too sheltered or shy to see it. Or what I see in the media has given me wrong impressions about teens overall.

So how do you Teens feel about your lives today? Is school harder, socially? Is it possible that you’re more spoiled than we parents were? What’s the fashion styles these days? Are smart or geeky kids still bullied and to what extent? Agree with any of the observations above? Are you concerned about your future? What’s the general attitude of teens toward life, politics, religion, college, the military, Iraq, the economy’s current state, and the future of our country?

2

Not all teens drink or do drugs, although many do.

School is not hard. School is easy if you make half an effort. It is entirely possible to make valedictorian after having spent most of your high school career stoned off your face.

Geeky kids don’t seem to be all that bullied, provided there’s actual intelligence to back up the social awkwardness. The existence of Advanced Placement versus regulars classes has done a lot to make it so the smart or motivated kids don’t interact with anyone else in the school outside of mandatory classes, which cuts down on the geeks getting picked on.

Racism still exists. But homosexuality is more accepted, although still denigrated in many circles, especially among the “popular kids,” which remain roughly the same groups they’ve always been–football players, cheerleaders, etc. But if you’re an out queer kid in art club or theater, you’re not likely to face too much trouble.

The amount of fighting amongst teens varies based on the type of school they go to, social groups, etc.

Teens probably haven’t changed all that much. The problems parents and teachers complain about are the problems they’ve been complaining about for millennia. Politically, I would say that teens are more likely to be inclined towards the left side of things, as teens often are, although there’s plenty of conservative young people out there. Likewise, teens are more likely not to take religion very seriously, although many seem to be culturally religious to stay in accordance with family values. College is expected amongst the academically inclined and/or economically advantaged.

There is no great uprising against the war in Iraq or any other current political issues; in fact, far too many teens that I’ve interacted with are woefully uninformed and unenthusiastic.

3

School cultures vary enormously, not just from school to school, but from year to year. At the high school where I teach, the current senior class is relatively sober, incredibly hard-working, competitive, politically left-leaning, goal-oriented people pleasers: last year’s seniors were intelligent, but it was like a non-stop Jerry Springer show, with everyone sleeping with everyone without regard to gender or good taste, and used every drug known to man both in and out of school. Next year’s seniors are almost anti-intellectual: they aren’t stupid, exactly, but they aren’t curious and tend to downplay their own intelligence and have no respect for learning or the learned. On the other hand, they tend to be more conservative in their entertainment choices.

There simply is no universal “youth experience”. There never really was.

4

I think your assessment is pretty good except for a couple things:

-Racism exists, yes, and you will find antagonism in certain areas. On the whole, however, I think young people are increasingly accepting of others who a racially different from then, often forging friendships that transcend skin color. I often see that here in the California Bay Area (your experience may differ in other parts of the nation).

-I disagree with the “harsher bullies” and more fighting. I think quite the contrary. There’s been a change in the school culture and policies, especially following the Columbine incident. Schools have instituted no-tolerance policies in regards to fighting/violent behavior/weapons. While teens can still find some place to duke it out, I think that these policies have put a heavy damper on overt aggressive behavior.

-I think that teens today are experiencing a tremendous amount of pressure to succeed, as compared to the parents’ or grandparents’ generation. Decades ago, there wasn’t as much a demand on the higher education system, and if you were smart enough there wasn’t too much hassle in applying and being accepted to colleges. Now, with the sharp increase in the demand for college, expectations have risen. For many teens with their sights on college, there’s a constant pressure to perform well, lest their futures perish (or so they will believe).

5

There still isn’t any problem getting into an average state school. What’s changed is that there is a huge upsurge in people applying to tier I and tier II schools: it’s not entirely clear why this is so–people who themselves went to state schools and did very well for themselves seem to feel that if their kids don’t go somewhere exclusive, they are doomed. I think part of it is that the internet has made it so much easier to get information about these schools and streamlined the application process. Part of it is the steady rise in need-based aid packages at these schools, and people’s awareness of this. Part of it is simply that these schools are recruiting non-traditional students more aggressively. Part of it is that the internet has helped people learn how to play the game better, making it more competitive for everyone.

6

OP, I may be your target demographic. I just the left teen years behind a year ago. I’m quoting Ducktail here because he/she is pretty accurate. I’d like to offer my own perspective on some of these points, too.

School is rather easy. Really, it’s just a matter of “playing the game.” In my experience, students who fail are those who, for whatever reason (usually a resentment of authority), are unwilling to deal with all the busy work teachers like to assign. If you can do that, and do some rote memorization of a few weeks worth of material for a test, high school isn’t all that rigorous. I’m currently a student at a university nationally known for its academic intensity, and since coming here I’ve realized just how rudimentary high school was at times.

Most teens have tried alcohol, and probably a fair number have tried pot as well. I suspect that this isn’t anything new, though; I’m sure it’s been going on for a long time.

There’s certainly an anti-intellectual streak prevalent in high school, but I’ve observed that there are several ways around it. Don’t play up your intelligence as your sole characteristic, it only feeds the anti-intellectualism. That is, if you happen to be funny, or can play music or act, or have some talent that other people appreciate you can sidestep the bias.

Teens are indeed inclined to the left, but there are a surprising number of conservative teens as well (surprising to me, at least). Having said that, a large majority of teens are plain apolitical.

Regarding your son’s inability/unwillingness to divulge information to you, this is quite common. In my experience, it’s rare to find a teen who shares openly with his parents. I was like that myself, and still am to a large extent. I don’t mind telling my parent’s what I’m up to (generally) and how I’m doing, but I spare them the details because I’d be uncomfortable doing so. They’re my parents, not my buddies.

7

This one is almost certainly false. Actual serious fighting is less prevalent than it used to be (assuming you live in North America, Western Europe, or Australia) in pretty much ALL age brackets. It’s much less tolerated by authorities. Fighting used to be very commonplace in Western society - 100 years ago it was no big deal for two adults to puch each other out. Even 30-40 years ago it wasn’t. A guy I went to school with for many years had a Dad who was famous for his fighting skills. Today, if a grown man punches another out, he gets arrested, and it applies to the kids, too.

There were certainly more kids fighting when I was in school, and that was just 20 years ago, and there was less fighting then than there had been in generations before that.

8

Indeed.
:stuck_out_tongue: