Auto insurance: when is a car considered "totalled"?

Another reason is because it’s just an estimate, and being off by 20% isn’t that unusual. The insurance company really doesn’t want to every pay out over 100% of the value.

Personally, I had an accident once where the car pretty clearly should have been totaled, but the initial estimate was grossly inaccurate. Missed things included replacing the entire dash, and re-spraying the whole car. About $3000 extra, on a $10k car. Figure someone got in trouble for that.

An auto shop owner that I know (son-in-law, actually) tells me that an almost guarantee for a totalled car is if the air bag has deployed. Those things are hugely expensive to redo.

No, not true.
Car get new airbags all the time. A airbag repair might add $1000 to the repair bill. So what? If the car is worth 15K and the repair before the air bag is $5K and $6K including the bag, why would anybody total the car?
Now if on the other hand you managed to deploy all 6 or 8 airbags in the car, then yeah, you could very well be close to a total. (FTR this is almost impossible to do in a single accident)

I had a car written off when I was T-boned in a parking lot by some clown with no license and insurance.
He wasn’t arrested or charged because it was on private property and to top it all off, my premiums went up and $1000 was subtracted from my settlement because he had no insurance!? Like that’s my fault! Of course, they’ll return it after they collected from him…10 years later, I’m still waiting…

I don’t have anything pertinent to the OP to contribute, but I will hijack for a moment: are you okay, Eva Luna?

Yeah, everyone involved is unhurt, thank goodness (I had 3 passengers in my car). Thanks for asking.

I’m not going to read the entire thread to find out if this has been covered

you should be looking at her and her insurance company for damages. You are not restricted by some concept of “totaling” and whatnot if you’re not dealing with your insurer.

I don’t even know whether her insurance company is going to cover her if she was driving without a license, nor have I gotten a damage estimate. I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.