Automobile Pet Peeves - a Rant in Two Parts

The BBQ Pit
1

Part the First (wherein Sua bitches about sound)

As a combination Christmas and birthday present (plus additional brownie points for moi), the missus is a proud new owner of a 2005 Toyota Prius. It’s a neat car, and any guy driving it who does not obsessively check (and try to manipulate) whether the electric motor, gas engine, or both is in operation is not a man at all. :stuck_out_tongue: Yet with all perfect things, there must be one flaw.

The flaw is the reverse gear.

Oh, mechanically, it works fine. It’s just that, when you put the car in reverse, it begins that high-pitched “beep-beep-beep” warning sound, like big rigs have. When I first heard it, I thought that it was a little annoying, but warning pedestrians/other drivers that we are going in reverse isn’t a bad thing.
But then, I learned the horrible, horrible truth - the “beep-beep-beep” sound is not external. It can only be heard inside the cabin of the Prius. Thus, when you put the car into reverse, it “warns” you that you have put the car in reverse!!! Hmm - nope, not enough exclamation points to express my anger. !!! Fucking gits - I know that I’ve put the car in reverse!

And, of course, you cannot disconnect it (as far as we can tell).
Part the Second (wherein Sua bitches about light)

I saw an ad the other day for new high-tech headlights, that apparently let you see slightly beyond the curvature of the Earth. The ad claimed that these headlights make driving safer.

They fucking well do not.

'Cause, you see, when your headlights are brighter, you are more likely to blind drivers coming the other way. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve flicked my high beams at another driver to ask them to turn off their brights, only to discover that they only had their low beams on.

People, if your low beams cause oppsoing drivers to be unable to see, we are much more likely to lose control and drift into your lane, causing a massive collision and dooming you and your cute puppy in the back seat to a fiery death. So long as you are not driving over 200 mph, your old-fashioned low beams are more than sufficient to give you warning of a hazard in time to avoid it.

And they will save you money - people like me won’t be as tempted to smash them with a baseball bat.

Yours in peace,

Sua

2

You know, I was walking the kids through the grocery store parking lot the other day, and we almost got run over by a Prius about to back up. I couldn’t hear that his car was even on - backup beeps on the OUTSIDE of the car would have been fairly handy at that point.

Fortunately, the guy was paying more attention than I was, and did not run us over. Thank you, anonymous guy who must know about his stealth automobile of squishage.

3

Nyet! Leetle deerskis lurk in the shadows, hidden in the darkness left by low-beams. That’s why we have high-beams!

4

Inigo Montoya commands you to rework this into a haiku!

5

Oooh, allow me!
Little deerskis lurk
hidden in low beams’ shadows.
High beams reveal all.

6

The beeping would save those who stop too far into an intersection and then back up a bit and forget they are in reverse. Maybe the designer listened to George Carlin.

7

Leetle deerskis lurk
In shadows

Hidden in
Low-beam darkness

High beams
Needed for this

8

Next time write haiku
Look up how to do it first
Not look like doofus

(Mine is just blank verse, I guess.)

9

Ya know, that’s an excellent point - In most cases where you are backing up, the Prius would run on the electric motor and therefore be (effectively) silent - giving no warning to those outside. So a backup beep audible to those outside might actually serve some purpose.

Sua

10

I have the back up beep (inside the cabin). Makes sense to me, but then again I drive a 6 speed Matrix with the reverse on the left side of First and it’s possible to throw it in the wrong gear if I’m being dumb.

Hey SuaSponte, quick question, does the Prius inch forward when you’re off the brake at a stop? Or does the electric motor shut off completely when you’re stopped?

11

Electric motor? I see the sales person pulled the wool over your eyes. The internal beeping is what tells the hampsters to turn the other way on the wheel.

12

SuaSponte, do you mind if I add to your headlight rant? I’ve been meaning to start one actually.

Dear Sport Sedan/SUV/Hopped-Up Ricer Driver,

Those cute little lights that hang off the lower front of your car? Us lesser folk call them things “fog lights”. And, even though you drive a high priced sport sedan or a tough off road-ready SUV or have hand built your own Japanese sport machine and thus know more about cars than I do you obviously don’t have good eyesight OR good sense cause it is quite obviously NOT FOGGY OUT RIGHT NOW!! And by driving with your fog lights on in addition to your low-beams you are coming close to hi-beam territory which I believe everyone learned during driving instruction is either not polite and/or illegal. Stop it! Cease and desist. Turn them off, only use them when it is either a) foggy or b) really dark and you’re driving in the freakin’ World Rally Championships.

Thanks, Sua. I feel much better, please continue.

13

No! No beeping sounds outside the car! Because we all know that every single person in my apartment complex (they’re like magpies but for car sounds) will rush out and buy a Prius. Then they’ll spend hours backing into their parking spaces every morning, noon, and night. Right under my bedroom window. All of them.

But the super bright lights have gotta go.

14

I hate back up beeps. It does not have to be annoying to be effective. I think one big ass AAAHHHHH UUUUUUU GAAHH! ought to suffice.

15

Are you talking about those blue-white headlights?

I frikkin’ hate those. See, I wear colored contacts most of the time, which give me a little bit extra glare or something bizarre. Those blue-white things damn near blind me when there are no streetlights on the road. I avoid those stretches of road as much as I can.

16

I’m all for bright headlights. Moose are no joke where I live. One took out a friend’s hubby. Occasionally an oncoming vehicle will have poorly aimed lights or will forget to dim its highbeams, but I’m willing to put up with that annoyance in exchange for having a better chance at stopping for large wildlife.

17

Thanks for killing a beautiful rant, Muffin.

:smiley:

18

Yeah, but those “ricer” lights are not installed on your highbeams, only on the lows. They’re usually higher wattage and/or faux blue (tinted) lights that probably reduce visability to the driver while killing everyone else’s night vision.

When I drove “in the wilderness” my brights (stock) were just fine.

REAL HID lights are ok although still pretty blinding (because most of them around here are on SUVs).

19

Yeah, that’s it in a nutshell. “Low beams” that are not at all low because they’re mounted four feet above the fucking road.