There are four variables here that are all independent of each other.
**- What you want to see (or not see) when you view the dope. **
Some like to see avatars. Some don’t. There’s no need for anyone on either side of the aisle to explain why or justify why they do or don’t. It’s a personal preference that shouldn’t be subject to the scrutiny of the peanut gallery, and doesn’t require the approval of anyone, pro or con.
**
- What others want to see (or not see) when they view the dope. **
Same as above. While one person might not want to see avatars, another might want to, and both are equally valid choices based on their own preferences. Simple as that.
These first two seem to be easy for everyone to understand. If you want to see avatars there is a script available to do so, and if you don’t want to see avatars there is no need to do anything at all; they are off by default and it takes an extra effort to purposely install a script to see them.
The next two variables, which are a natural result of the choices people make about the first two, seem to be where a lot of unfounded concerns crop up.
**- What you want to have appear by your posts to other users who see avatars. **
This seems to be a source of inexplicable concern for a few of us. If someone does want to see avatars and uses the script, usually they also select an avatar that they want to show to other script users. In some cases we have users who want to see avatars but don’t want to display one, and in at least one case I know of we have someone who wants to display an avatar so those who use the script can see it, but they themselves don’t want to see avatars and don’t run the script.
But in most cases, those who want to see avatars also choose one that they want to display to others who want to see them, and those who don’t want to see avatars don’t select anything to show to those who do.
The fourth variable, and the one that seems to inspire the most unfounded concern:
**
- What others who do view avatars want to see by your posts**
I have an avatar assigned to one poster that is a picture of an angry guy from the internet, veins in the forehead bulging and steam coming out of his ears. I have another that is a big ‘thumbs down’ that displays by the posts of every banned user on the entire site. In none of these or any other cases, do I have an obligation to ask these posters if they mind me assigning something to see by their posts. They haven’t specified anything else for me to see, and may or may not have any interest or even knowledge of avatars, but if they hear I have chosen to view an image next to their posts, sometimes their ears perk up and they want to start making editorial decisions about what image I have chosen to see and demanding to be notified if I choose to do this.
If Poster A has no avatar specified, Poster B still has every right and ability to choose anything they want to see when they view poster A’s posts. The avatar they select may or may not have anything to do with Poster A - it may be an abstract design, a photo of King Kong, or an actual image or photo of Poster A to which Poster A has provided them access.
So here we have a group of posters who enjoy seeing avatars, assigning avatars to those who don’t specify ones of their own, and are happily doing their thing while everyone else who isn’t interested in avatars happily does theirs. A perfect world!
If a poster who has no interest in seeing or displaying avatars themselves, then chimes in that they don’t like other posters who do have this interest assigning avatars to them, and want to be notified if it is done, and want to have editorial control over what those posters choose to see, that is out of bounds and not any of their concern, and this is where their interest in it becomes unreasonable.
An analogy might be: a group of Dopers decide to have a weekly lunch in their local town and get together in a restaurant. At these lunches they make a game out of naming dishes after posters on the Dope. The number 1 special is now known as the Crazyhorse to them, the number 2 vegetarian plate is now know to them as the kayT, etc. We don’t attend these lunches and we don’t have any interest, right, or ability to demand that they notify us if they are going to be naming plates of food after us at a private get together. We are however invited to join the get together any time and offer our own suggestions for plates we want named after us.
With all that said, here are the short answers to your specific questions.
The avatar that currently displays for you to most users of the avatar script if neither you nor they have chosen something else is here.
Any user of the script can change that to anything else they want if they choose.
You can choose anything different that you would prefer to show to users of the script instead, by following the instructions in the avatar script thread about how to choose an avatar. You can also choose to have nothing display to the users of the script by default by following the directions in that thread and provided by spinky above in this one. None of these choices however can prevent users of the script from assigning something to you based on their own preference, sharing it among themselves, etc. It isn’t reasonable to expect notification or any editorial control over that choice if they make it.