Awesomely terrible date ideas

Your spouse’s funeral: “She’d have wanted me to move on and start dating again.”

I loved Microcosmos! If slugs can find love …

And I actually did have a guy suggest a drive out to see the Shearon Harris Nuclear Plant. Apparently he’d taken a previous girlfriend and it went over well. I think the key that is they were both engineers.

Mark my words, there’s at least one woman in the world for whom this would be a great first date. And I’m going to find her and marry her.

I have to say that a fire extinguisher duel or live surgery would win me over.

Back To The OP

Go to the local waterfront. Don appropriate vestments. Perform a service to Father Dagon, Mother Hydra and Cthulhu.

I would find this a great first date, but unfortunately I’m taken.

I think this might actually turn me on.

Robert DeNiro taking Cybil Shepherd to a Swedish porno theatre on their only date in Taxi Driver didn’t go over well.

I can’t believe you’d compliment a sex scene that was TOTALLY unprotected and resulted in two pregnancies. What type of example does it set?

*I wanna introduce you to my friends and family. You’ll need to go through metal detectors so go ahead and take the stuff out of your pockets.

*My kid’s Little League Team’s having a game tonight and I thought we could go… alright, I don’t have a kid, but I think the red head is kinda cute.

I recall an old SNL skit: Buck Henry is on a first date with Jane Curtin – they met through the personals, they’re having dinner at his place, and she says that while she’s having a great time, she was expecting something a little more unusual.

BUCK HENRY: Unusual? How about assisting in brain surgery!

Two figures in scrubs wheel a patient into the room, dress Curtin in scrubs, and she’s expected to do the surgical-nurse thing. (As you might expect, she’s useless and the patient dies.)

About two years ago I picked up a chick (in town on vacation) in a karaoke bar and we (and her mother, a local) went from there to hang out in a gay bar as they had already planned. Then we (not including the mother) went to my place and got it on. Nice, but just a bit weird.

Before she started dating my father my mother was dating a state trooper. He once took her to an autopsy :eek: followed by dinner at an Italian restaurant. His reasoning was that since he needed to view one for work he might as well kill two birds with one stone.

Except maybe BrianGlutten and Sampiro…

These two “proposals” were actually made to me by two different women:

  1. We go over to her “buddies” house, so she can finally do that DP shes always wanted! I was gonna get the booty!

  2. Drive up to Jackpot, Nevada where I could pimp out the young lady (her idea, I swear) and split the money. It was unclear who’s car we were to take.

Sometimes I wonder why I didn’t take up these offers. Other times I know.

He waits and dreams in the deep, baby, the cities of man shall fall before him-just tumble to utter ruin!

Any place their spouse (or yours) works.

How about taking a woman to a BDSM orgy/potluck?

Seriously, this guy thought that asking if he can take me to a BDSM orgy/potluck and whether I wanted to bring drinks or dessert would be an excellent first date. :rolleyes:

This wasn’t a date, but it has the same degree of awfulness:

My aunt is a cook, a good one. She cooked professionally for many years. So it’s not surprising that she likes to relax and let someone else handle the food.

One day I came up to Owen Sound to see her and also visit my father. She announces we’re going to go for lunch, me and her and her friend. Where do we go? The McDonalds in the Wal-Mart in Owen Sound.

Visiting any UNESCO World Heritage Site that has a lot of scorched bricks or exposed rebar.

Other bad ideas for a guy to do with a girl on a first date:
Visiting the Holocaust Museum.
Going to a cross burning.
Lynching is an absoloute no no.
Surfing the net for kiddie porn.
Going to a strip club.
Participating in a search for a missing child.
Going dolphin hunting or seal clubbing.
Michael Vick’s Dog Fighting Emporium.

That’s it…made my day right there…

Wonderful.

(of course, if you’re from the area, how about a first date at Moonville?

Brendon Small

A Boy And His Dog is anther bad choice…speaking from experience I am.

This works a lot better if the cheap white comes in a cardboard box.