So, my NP found a lump in my breast at my annual exam. Making a frowny face, she said that most likely it was nothing to worry about, but I should cut out caffeine, take some Vitamin E, and come back in a month.
Did so. Lump still there. In fact, found another one in the other breast. Shit.
She referred me to Breast Care center of large university hospital located in Ann Arbor, MI. She wanted me to have a ultrasound. First, the receptionist tried to schedule it for me, and the Breast Care center refused to see me on account I’m only 26. I became distraught and pissed off by turns. The receptionist got my NP and told her what happened. NP said to me “don’t worry, I’l call them up and get this straightened out.” She called me the same day with an appointment time. I [heart] my NP (affiliated with same hospital).
So, I head up to the BCC 9 am. I notice that it is, in fact a ward full of people with Breast cancer. This fills me with disquiet, although I keep telling myself “probably nothing.” So, having filed out my form explaining my entire family history (the same information already procured by my NP at the hospital clinic), I sit down. A nurse comes to get me and takes my weight, BP and temp. I am amazed to discover my resting temp is only 97.2 degrees!
I head to an exam room to wait. I change into a lovely plaid cloth exam gown. A nurse comes in, and gets my history. The same history I already provided on the form. A resident comes in. She is realy nice and pretty like a doctor on ER. She asks me the SAME questions about my history the nurse just asked and does the first breast exam and locates the 2 lumps right where they’re supposed to be. She goes to get her… um? attending? supervisor. I wait some more. Second doctor comes in. She does the second breast exam VERY vigorously. I yelp once or twice, because the lumps are tneder to the touch. She tells me she’s sending me down for an ultrasound. She marks the lumps with a ballpoint pen and jokes that getting to draw on people is the most fun part of her job. I ask to bring my SO with me. We fetch him and head down to the ulrtasound room.
Then I wait about 45 mins in the ultrasound room before being called by a nurse. She asks me about my medical history (sigh) and then goes to get the radiologist, the first and only man of the day. He begins with my 3rd breast exam of the day to make sure the lumps are where the doc marked. They are. He does the ultrasound, which wouldn’t hurt under normal conditions but my breasts are sore from three exams in 2 hours. Actually, the ultrasound is kind of interesting – I get to watch.
Then back upstairs to a veerrrry long wait to go over the result with my doc. I am very nervous I will need a biopsy and cry a bit. SO consoles me and I eat a bagel sandwhich he got me (it is now 12 o’clock). A nurse pops in and tells me she’s ready to take me to my “fine needle aspiration.” I reply, in an angry tone of voice, that I’m not going anywhere till I talk with my doctor first. She scampers out as if she is trouble, which she probably is, for discussing a procedure with me before the doc arrived.
Doc finally returns. Says the lumps are solid, not liquid filled (so they’re not cysts), and are probably a benign something called a fibro-adenoma. She wants a biopsy called a “fine needle aspiration” to make sure, though. In this procedure a needle is inserted into the lump and cells are pulled out by suction. Is it going to hurt? “well, its definately going to be uncomfortable.” Slight weeping ensues.
Off to the biospsy room, now desperately thankful SO is with me for moral support. after a bit of a wait, and SO trying to cheer me up by saying “at least its not called a Huge Rusty Needle aspiration” 2 cytologists enter. The get my family history AGAIN and settle me on the table. 4th breast manhandling to double check location of lumps. I am nervous and weeping (can you tell I don’t do well in medical settings?). The assisting doctor holds my hand while the other one prepares needles, slides, etc. They tell me they are going to do 8 passes, 4 in each lump.
First pass. Deep breathing, staying focused, its not so bad. LIke getting a regular shot, more or less, except in your breast. Ok. Big sigh of relief.
Second pass, OH MY GOD THE PAIN. It is like a searing, burning, piercing pain. The cytologists mutters “its really firm.” Apparently unable to get any cells by suction, she is using the same technique we used as kids to get crushed ice into the end of a straw – ram it repeatedly. I am crying and gasping for air and this intense pain is seemingly going on for hours. Finaly finished, I have to sit up and weep, not only because of the pain, but because they are going to do it 6 more times.
After 5 or 10 minutes I calm down enough for rational thought. They expain they can give me lidocaine, but it runs the risk of ruining the sample. “and if that happens I have to do this again?” I ask. “yep” they reply. “shit no, I’m not doing this twice.”
We get ready for the third pass. The assisting doctor suggests that I shoud feel free to scream if it helps me with the pain. My SO holds my one hand and she hold my other hand so I don’t make any desperate moves.
Third pass. JUST AS PAINFUL OH MY GOD. This time openly screaming as well as crying. After a century of this, she is done. I can only lay there crying in pain. Lots of tissues. The two cytologists look at the samples and look at each other and look at me on the table, and say they have enough cells and they’re going onto the next breast.
After the requisite 10 minutes to regain compsoure, Doc comes over to do left breast. In order to get the needle into the lump, she needs to hold it still. So she is pressing very firmly on the lump, which was sore to begin with x4 exams. I’m screaming before the needle even goes it. 4 pass, same as the previous 2. Intense pain, many tears. Keep apologizing to the SO for making him watch this, and then thinking him for being with me.
5th pass. Just as bad. Horribe, agaonizing pain. Screaming, crying. The docs look at the samples, and then look at me on the table, then look at each other and say they’re going to get the chief resident because they’re not sure how to proceed.
Chief resident bustles in. Does quick breast exam, notices that my breasts are very tender and I explain about the 4 breast exams and ultrasound. “all today?” she says, seemingly surprised. uh, huh. She gets me some ice packs to ice my breasts with. I can’t believe how good that feels. I’m trying for self control but end up just quietly sniffling. Chief resident looks at the samples, and looks at me on the table, and looks at the 2 cytologists and says that they have enough cells and I can go home. I am SO RELIEVED. I really want to give her a big hug. While the CR was deciding, the assisting doc was asking me about my general relationship to pain. It seems from her questions that it isn’t typical to feel this level of pain during this procedure.
Finally, I am ready to leave. It is 1pm. I can’t wear my bra 'cause it hurts too much. My SO drives me home. I call into work and work from home.
7 days later, I still have 3/4 inch bruises around the injection site.
But the good news is: I don’t have cancer!!!
