That’s totally understandable. I didn’t mean to sound as if I was scolding you for not talking to the manager. More to make the point that yes, the manager really does want to hear your (legitimate) complaints.
I’m glad you contacted the company. Would you mind updating us after you talk to the DM? I’m obviously interested in how this goes.
update: Got a call from the district manager. She expressed concern, identified the individual and said serious action would be taken. She asked if I wanted to know what happens when they’re done but I did not see that as necessary. Overall they were very professional/quick about this.
I worked at BR in my early 20’s and we had a large gay clientele. I would have guessed that over 50% of our male employees were gay also. BR is kind of known as being at the very least a ‘metrosexual’ store, at least compared to other typical mall stores. It was also featured on an episode of Will and Grace where Jack is very excited to work at “The Banana.”
I would have done the same thing you did - not raised a fuss in the store but written to the regional manager about it. (But I at least hope you didn’t give him/her credit for the sale when you got rung up!)
First they mocked the sweaters, and I did not speak out—because I was looking for a coat;
Then they mocked the casual shirts, and I did not speak out—because I was looking for a coat;
Then they mocked the plaid shorts, and I did not speak out—because I was looking for a coat;
Then they mocked the coats—so I bought some paisley boxers instead.
Defend what right? The right not to be irritated? The right to not be subjected to jerks? Not every slight or comment warrants a threat to bring out the big guns. Are you seriously suggesting that this is a situation that warrants a gay rights protest, legal action, or news coverage? Because frankly, I think that’s a bit silly.
The salesguy’s remark was inappropriate, for sure. But not everything inappropriate is actionable. I think the OP handled the matter very reasonably.
Oh goodness gracious, I commented on the overwhelmin gaiety of the Gap, Inc. Quelle scandale!
Yeah, anyway, I’m pretty sure my fag card trumps your offenderati card in this match.
To the OP: This is the new gay thing, using “gay” as a pejorative/internalized homophobia. Why, he might have even been hitting on you, and wanted to see your reaction to it (Protip: this is the part of the dance where you gay it up a bit, to confirm his suspicions!).
Anyway, I once was seeing a GAP manager for like two weeks; every month or so, GAP employees get a friends and family promotion where all their boyfriends and fag hags get like 25% off their merchandise. Don’t underestimate this key benefit!
Jesus, you people call the manager for everything. In another thread, someone seriously suggested that she would call management if a strange man in a bar asked her to sleep with him. Good grief, people. I probably would have said, “I am gay,” and that’s it.
Though I’d draw a distinction between the two. I don’t think a bar manager can be responsible for every drunken asshole or creep in the establishment. But in a store where it’s an employee saying something rude, that’s different.
Right, that is bad, which is why I would have pointed out that I was gay. Pretty sure that would have put him on the spot and made him feel like an ass, without starting a gay pride parade in the middle of the mall.
Are you kidding me? You think it’s no big deal to have a store clerk make bigoted comments to the customers?
I mean, if I was at Banana Republic and asked where the clearance rack is, and the clerk said, “Looking for a bargain, eh? You must be a Jew!” would you tell me to just say “actually I am a Jew” and go on my merry way? How many other people has he made such a comment to? How many different times has he reinforced the idea that Jews are cheapskates?
Look, that comment in the other thread was just nuts, so you shouldn’t take it to mean anything.
Although I would’ve handled it much like what MeanOldLady said, and asked that since “I was gay (I’m not, but would’ve said I was anyway), would this look be okay?”, and left it like that, I think you did the right thing by emailing and then talking to the district manager. Good on you for standing up for yourself and others.