This is either a really stupid question or it’s really interesting:
Do babies feel things more intensely or do we just get better at dealing with discomfort as we get older?
My premise might be wrong, but: it seems to me babies cry whenever they are in seemingly minor discomfort. That could be hunger, or having to go to the bathroom or having just gone to the bathroom, or being tired.
Are they ill-equipped to manage discomfort without extreme reaction, or do we just get better at it as we get older?
Does a baby feel hunger so intensely that a comparable feeling in an older person would cause a similarly dramatic reaction?
I read something rather silly that claimed babies cry because they lack experience, so minor discomforts can be literally the worst thing they’ve ever experienced…but i’d really like something with some science, maybe a cite or two.
Older people have other ways of communicating unhappiness, or they have the mental equipment to process their own unhappiness and to make a decision not to communicate it.
But grown ups still cry too, it just takes a bit more to provoke it (which I realize is very relative between the emotional range of individuals).
I surmise there’s a marked improvement in coping mechanisms or rational thinking as we age, so we temper our reactions much more than when we were more emotionally immature.
Irrational adults have disproportionately emotional reactions to a great many similar discomforts that cause children or babies to cry. I don’t think it’s just a lack of communication tools, I presume it’s more about being unable to irrationally process your (literal) feelings and the emotional responses we have to them.
Crying doesn’t mean the same to baby’s or even toddlers.
When adults cry, it’s usually because of some sort of emotional drama. When baby’s do it, they’re just doing it because they lack the skills of communication. When toddlers do it, they do it because they’ve found it to be a useful tool to manipulate their parents. There’s no real emotional distress going on. [Generally speaking of course.]
Babies cry because they need or want attention - and often, only the attention of the parent can resolve their problem. If I shit my pants, I can deal with the problem myself. Babies can’t.
Babies cry because they have absolutely no other way whatsoever of dealing with their discomfort. Adults, and even older children, often have a whole bunch of other things they can do to alleviate it, including (but, in most cases, far from limited to) adopting a stoic attitude.
What is more, most babies soon find that crying is quite an effective way of getting the source of their discomfort removed. (And a good thing too, because some of those discomforts - babies don’t really know which - are important, and they could die.) Their learning that crying is sometimes effective is the beginning of learning, the beginning of wisdom.
Not all babies cry. There was a couple living next door to me, and while they lived there they had two babies. Windows were open in nice weather, and I never heard either of them cry. They did learn to speak at an appropriate age.
And as a parent I can attest that it is possible to differentiate between WAAAA! I an hurt/trapped/frightened and WAAAA! I am hungry/bored/want attention. Tired also sounds different.
Having had my sensitivity temporarily reset back to when I was younger, I’d guess that children do feel emotions more strongly. Though it might just be me–my neurologist back in the day said I had an incomplete emotional shell and felt emotions stronger than other kids.
I think babies feel things more intensely inasmuch as one feeling likely dominates their senses. When they are happy they are ecstatic. When they are sad they are miserable. They are incapable of processing more than one feeling at a time.
Think about it: Every unpleasant thing that happens is the worst thing the baby has experienced IN HER ENTIRE LIFE! They just have no sense of proportion.
In other words, they have all the wiring to feel pain intensely and quickly, and lack some of the wiring to help them not feel pain that they will later develop.
You are quite wrong about toddlers, by the way. I’ve noticed that the majority of adults project all sorts of motivations on to toddlers that cannot possibly be true, so that they can justify their inability to understand or communicate with them.
Babies crying: do we just get better at discomfort?
I think this is true for parents - after a time they become acclimated to babies crying, and are no longer discomfited by it; in fact it doesn’t seem get their attention much.
At least, this would explain a lot of what goes on in restaurants.
1] Is baby hungry? … if yes, then feed … if no, then go to 2,
2] Is baby soiled? … if yes, then clean … if no, then go to 3,
3] Is baby bored? … if yes, then entertain … if no, then go to 4,
4] Baby is exercising his lungs, go back to Sunday Night Football.
I imagine you’re being somewhat facetious, but there are more possible issues than three. My sister was of the opinion that a baby can simply be lonesome and want comforting. My daughter actually came up with something I hadn’t thought of: Maybe the child is just uncomfortable and has no other way to express it. When all else failed, she would change the baby’s clothes. After all, can you imagine if a clothing tag or the inside of a garment seam were irritating you and you had no way to fix it?