Babies on drugs are hilarious

No, really.

I just got back from Whatsit the Youngest’s ear tube surgery. I am happy to report that apart from some post-op crankiness and ear ickery, all went well, and WtY’s hearing should be greatly improved.

However, the best part of the morning was when they administered a Motrin/Versed cocktail to the little guy. About ten minutes later, he got this silly grin plastered all over his face and started waving his hands around in front of his face in the manner of a Grateful Dead concert attendee. He tried to pat my face too, but kept missing. This, too, was found to be hilarious and worthy of a half-lidded stoner giggle.

So, to sum up:

Surgery co-pay: $175.00
Coffee to assist with the 6:30 AM surgery time: $4.00

Seeing your 11-month-old high as a kite: Priceless.

Heh. I’ve never seen a baby that young on Versed (glad he’s recovering well), but remember when my middle daughter, now 16, but 11 at the time, had to have minor surgery that required general anesthesia. The anesthesiologist came into the room where an IV was started and she was being prepped, and asked how she was doing, and she said “Well, I know you can’t do anything about it, but I’m really nervous” and he said “Oh, yeah, we can do something about that!” and ordered her a shot of Versed.

A half-hour later, we were downstairs, waiting for her to be wheeled into the ER. She looked at the wall, looked at me, and said “Mom. . .is the wallpaper supposed to be moving?” :smiley: She was so stoned. I still tease her about it.

Hey!!!
I resemble that remark! You should go buy WtY a tie-dye, may put on *Mars Hotel * or *Dark Side of the Moon * for him.

p.s. – Per the *AP Stylebook * and Strunk’s Elements of Style, you could have shortened “Grateful Dead concert attendee” to “Deadhead.”

When my son was about two he had a series of febrile seizures that wouldn’t stop - very scary. Ended up in the ER at Children’s Hospital TWICE. The second time the doctor on duty called a pediatric neurologist who said “well, sounds like he is in a seizure cycle, break it by giving him valium.”

So my son got valium. “Mommy, these are the best graham crackers ever…” So stoned.

(He’s never had another one, he is nine now).

Yeah, we found out that if you ask, they’ll give you the drugs early. Once they gave my husband some Versed in the prep room before his surgery, and when they rolled him away he was giggling about the “Treaty of Versed”.

When they prepped my husband before his hernia surgery, he very earnestly looked up at his mother and me and said, “I want to pray. Will you pray with me?” This is my extremely pagan husband, now, known to get nekkid and go on vision quests in the back yard. My MIL and I held his hands and bowed our heads with him. He intoned, “Now I lay me down to sleep…”

I had to get a chair for my poor mother-in-law, she was laughing so hard. My husband was like, “What? What’s so funny?”

I’m flashing to the ‘smug’ episode of South Park, where Kyle and Ike get high.

Ike: I’m todally twipping balls.

You husband is a dork. In a very adorable way!

I’ve mentioned my husband’s bike accident and wrist surgery here before. When he came out of surgery they had given him morphine in the first recovery room (and then a little more in the general one), so when they wheeled him out on a stretcher, he was sitting up with his wrist propped up on a pillow on his lap, and this big stupid grin on his face and he looks at me and says,

“HI! They gave me MORPHINE!” :smiley:
Still cracks me up to this day!

I’ve never seen a child on drugs, though. That would be interesting!

The downside is having to explain why your child’s first word was “duuude”.

That’s what eventually broke me into a gigglefit. I can’t help but admit that’s just all so cute. :smiley:
Something like this only happened once to me. I was in the hospital late at night for some reason, it was either chest tightness or sharp stomach pains, and a combination of being exhausted and the medication they gave me sent on a slight trip.
I was in the bathroom washing my hands, and looking into the mirror, I was entranced by how I had things behind me. And like, I was in front of everything in the mirror, and with that perspective, it was all real 3-D for me. And I was fascinated by how cool it is, to be living in 3-D.
I went out to my uncle, and told him how I was looking in the mirror and it was so cool because with seeing everything behind me it was like living in 3-D, and it sent me giggling about it until I sat down in his truck and promptly passed out.

My dog had surgery. He had a phentenyl patch. One evening he was wearing it, we put him in his kennel, the next morning, there was no sign of the patch…but I SWEAR my dog looked at me and said DUUUDE - at least with his puppy eyes.

The stoned dog was almost as funny as the two year old with the munchies.

These stories made me giggle. Thanks (I needed a giggle this morning)

I was asked to housesit for a friend of mine with 2 dogs… on new years day.
In the Netherlands this is the day where everybody is allowed to fire off fireworks and of course these dogs hated fireworks.
Fortunately the owners had left some pills for the dogs to take.
I gave both dogs half a pill a few hours in advance but it didn’t really seem to take.
So a couple of hours later I have them another half.

A few hours later they were stoned out of their gourd.
Everytime there was a loud explosion the one dog would wag his tail.
The other dog (Terrier-size) couldn’t even jump on the couch anymore; I had to lift him up.
When we went for a walk later on he wouldn’t leave my side and everytime we stopped he would lean against me.

A friend of mine just had surgery. I was hanging with him in the hospital room soon after he came out of it. He kept dozing off, waking up with a start, and looking at me really weird. At one point he looked at me especially bizarrely, and I couldn’t help but ask what it was.

“… I thought you were holding a jar of marmalade.”

A short time later, he snapped awake, yelled “No! I never worked in the college library!” in terror, as if being interrogated, then immediately fell asleep again.

Man, you guys are so lucky. Both my kids become total *assholes *on Versed. It’s a quirky effect my nurse friend tells me sometimes happens - you learn to duck so you don’t get punched. My son (aged 11) ripped out his IV and threw things at the nurse. My daughter (aged 0 days, or 17 weeks, depending on how you count) screamed at us for a week and refused to open her eyes (the rest of her 3 years she’s been an angel child, if a little willful.)

My son was much more amusing on morphine, but I had to agree with him that the spiders on the wall were probably just oyster crackers, or he wouldn’t settle down. (There were neither arachnids nor soup condiments on the wall, I hasten to add.)

This just had me laughing so hard at my desk that I had to close the window before I got fired :D.

I’m jealous. My kiddo had tubes put in about three weeks ago, but we didn’t get any fun post-op moments like that. Instead, he was so hungry that he sucked back some apple juice and got mad when he ate all of the Goldfish I had brought for post-op in case he was hungry (yeah. He was hungry.)

He did flirt with the two year old across the way, but that was cute.

My husband had to have the last 2 of his wisdom teeth taken out a couple years back and while he was in the little recovery room off of the main part of the dentist’s office, I got to go back and sit with him. I dunno what they gave him, but he waxed rhapsodic for ten minutes about how cute my nose piercing was, how cute I was and how he was solving the energy crisis by taking the energy out of potatoes baked in a microwave oven. He doesn’t remember a thing which is good because I laughed all the way home!

Our daughter had a febrile seizure when she was around 2, and the doctor told us to give her valium in the future when she had a high fever b/c it would reduce the chance of her having another seizure. She never had another one, but we would dutifully give her valium when she got a high fever. Boy, a little bit of valium makes for a happy 2-year-old.

Sherlock Holmes: Watson, it’s amazing that Oyster Crackers do not fill the oceans, so prolific are they. And what of the spiders? Go and get Culverton Smith, I beg you.

After my father had his wisdom teeth out, he woke up in the recovery room, sat bolt upright, and barked at his then-wife, “Evaluation, Mister Spock.”

He denies it, of course.