There is a first hand account by an Australian man who experienced (i. e. on the receiving end, as it were) a judicial caning in Malaysia. When the first stroke hit him, he thought for a very brief moment that this wasn’t so painful after all. But this perception changed extremely fast:
(bolding mine)
I have only started eating avocados recently (diet suggestion) and just run a sharp knife around the fruit lengthwise - no risk if ripe - and then twist the fruit halves in opposite directions. That seems to loosen the stone such that it can be easily dislodged with a teaspoon without damaging any of the fruit. I keep them a few days in a fruit bowl (not refrigerated - I suspect they would not react well to that) so as they are always ripe.
A knife sounds like asking for trouble.
This. I have seen my kids fall, and look around for an audience. Audience? Cry. No audience? Suck it up and move on.
Of course this only applies to minor injuries.
Separate the halves and try a one-hand corkscrew wine bottle opener.
Never done it, but read it somewhere.
My wife uses a heavy knife but, rather than stabbing the pit, hits it as though the knife were an axe. Then she pulls the lodged knife back and the pit comes out with it.
I’m not going to recommend holding it in your hand while doing this though in case your aim is way off.
Yeah which is why I’m not crazy about parents that rush over every time the child takes a spill. The kid is going to have to learn to pick himself up, and if it was just a small fall, he’ll be fine. But you’ve rushed over there and made a big fuss and now he thinks it’s a big deal and is crying way longer than it actually hurts and he’s going to do the same thing when he goes to college and expect you to rush in there to help him whenever he falls, which you will of course.
My brother-in-law had a great way of handling these little falls. He taught his son to “shake it off”. “Shake it off, dude, shake it off.” So you’d get this little two year old toddler standing up from a small fall and jiggling his whole body, along with Daddy. It was adorable and it seemed to cause a lot less unnecessary crying.
But what the heck do I know, I’m not a parent.
I might steal this. My younger daughter is pretty suggestible, this might work.
I figured it out! It’s evolutionary. I always thought it was because children are assholes but it makes more sense that, when hurt, they look around to see if mama is around before freaking out. No parent around? Then it is too dangerous to scream, there may be a dingo around. Parent around? It’s safe to cry out.
I figured ours was filling her lungs for a really good scream. Babies breathe through their nose, so it might not be obvious.
Continuing minor hijack…
You’ve described the standard way to cut them in half. As you say, safe & effective. I may eat them a bit less ripe than most folks, but the pit is usually firmly attached to one half or the other. I’ll try the spoon technique, but it seems unlikely from here.
FYI, If you have a couple too many ripening at once they can go in the fridge for a couple days max. Once in the fridge they pretty much stop ripening right then. You’re definitely right to ripen them on the counter. Turn them every day or two to avoid flat nasty spots on the bottom. Also better to have them flat versus in a pile; the ones on the bottom of a pile tend to get more bruises.
That’s the standard technique for getting the pit out of the half; use the heel of the blade like a cleaver, hitting just hard enough to embed the knife a bit into the pit. The knifepoint’s not involved at all. Then rotate the blade& pit slightly to break the suction & the pit lifts right out still embedded in the knife.
The historical standard was to hold the avocado half in your non-dominant palm & strike the knife into it there. That’s what I gave up doing & now sit the half on the cutting board. Which is what I was doing when I bounced the knife off the pit & didn’t hurt myself.
Sounds unlikely, but worth a try. I doubt you can push down hard enough to start the screw into the pit without smooshing (technical cooking term) the avocado flesh.
Thanks all for the thoughts. I’ll hijack again tomorrow with results.
As I understand it much of that is because C-fibers, the nerves that instigate the sensation of pain are slow.
In other words, if you drop something on your toe it’ll take about a second for the nerve impulse saying “pain!” to reach your brain.
The delay is real, and doesn’t necessarily have to do with seeking attention.
I’m basing this entirely on a sample of one (my 26-month-old daughter), so take it for what it’s worth.
I’ve seen the delay when there’s real pain and shock involved. For instance, getting vaccinated. She’ll be sitting in my lap, and I’m holding her, and then the doctor will stick the needle in. There’s a pause, and then she screams.
On the other hand, if she takes a tumble, and I or her mother say “that doesn’t hurt, baby, you’re OK,” she won’t cry if she isn’t really hurt. But if she is hurt, there’s the pause, and then the scream.
The rare occasion where we had something more serious then this, I could tell the difference in the scream, as though it rang of fear.
Why were you rollerblading in the garage?
Yeah, that’s what I noticed.
Something which worked for me with my son was that when he was crying after a spill, he really just wanted someone to acknowledge that it hurt rather than trying too hard to comfort him. I would have him show me where he fell down, and what part of him hurt and that ended a lot of crying fairly quickly.
I said not to ask… 
Okay fine, I was new to it, I’m experienced on classic skates but was trying to get used to the inline kind. I figured in the garage it was a flat, even surface and safer than outside. But concrete is concrete. I’ve put that potential hobby on indefinite hold.
If you’re over 12 it works a lot better with knee guards & a helmet.
You’ll feel terminally dorky until you notice all the other 20- to 60-yos doing the same.
I’m still waiting for the hijack report…
It’ll be one or two days more. My current batch of avocados had to be bought green. So they’re ripening as fast as they can but they’re not there yet. Then I’ll have to eat the whole pile in three days before they go bad.
Kinda like bananas, the ideal is to buy some fresh every day and have a ripening pipeline. Buying a pile once a week is a set-up to eat two underripe stiff ones, two perfect ones, two marginally brown & gooshy ones, and throw the last nasty rotten one away.
Is there an ethylene-rush thing that works with avocados?
I had a quick thought of using one for dinner while cruising the aisles but they were all to hard. I’ve never done the ethylene thing with any fruit.
Damn, anticipation for persimmons over three weeks kills me.
Had on a helmet, knee and elbow pads, and wrist guards. I didn’t care about looking like a dork, I was in my garage.
When I fell I reflexively broke my fall with my outstretched left arm. I cracked the radial head in that elbow. It was my weight all falling on that joint so fast that hurt. If I’d not tried to break my fall I would probably have had no more than bruises.
Almost 100% healed now though, luckily.