I’ll leave the description as a surprise but I just about died laughing.
Safe for work.
She’s a ringer man! Too adorable. 
I like the first comment “What’s the big deal? All I see is a German woman on vacation?”
I was underwhelmed.
Well, I laughed. Thanks for that, FloatyGimpy.
I’d never noticed before how much babies resemble drunk people.
I think it’s Nick Swardson that has a joke about that.
Paraphrasing: Whenever you’re taking care of a drunk friend it’s like being with a two year old. ‘C’mon, get up, let’s get you in bed. Stop crying, we’ll be home soon. No, you can’t lay down here. Put your shirt back on. How’d you get naked?’
For the first time in my life, I literally sprayed my drink all over the monitor and keyboard when I read your comment. Thank you. 
I wouldn’t say she trashed the bar, more like caused a scene. I expect more carnage from my drunken babies. RandMcnally, your comment made me giggle.