I just returned yesterday from a 10-day trip to Israel, driving around with 40 other UA Jews and staying in hotels with Jews from several other schools around the country, as part of a program called “Taglit [Discovery]-Birthright Israel” which brings thousands of Jews from all over the world to the homeland.
I had the experience of a lifetime, and my life has been changed forever. When I left San Diego for Los Angeles to hop on a plane to New York and then catch another flight to Tel Aviv, I felt completely lost and abandoned (as an aborted fetus, perhaps). I had been dumped and told by my parents that they would not be sending me back to school next semester unless I was under their thumb and lived with my dad with him controlling everything I do, from the time I wake up to the time I sleep and who I hang out with and when and what I do and when. Effectively, I had been disowned, because I was given an option of (a) going to school in conditions I could not live under (this takes a lot of explaining to be communicated effectively–but suffice it to say that at this time in my life I cannot live that way, it’s not an option, if you want to know more feel free to IM or email me) or (b) finding my own way in life, which would not involve or be supported by my parents in any way.
Now that I have had the experiences I’ve had in the homeland, I have a direction. I will join the Air Force, do my three years of service there; then study in an Israeli ulpan for anywhere from 6 months to 2 years, learning Hebrew and living and working in Israel; and then emigrate to Israel and serve in the IDF, the Israeli army, where I will be greatly served by the skills I will have acquired in the USAF and my fluency in English and, hopefully, by then, Hebrew. Perhaps I will become a career serviceman, or maybe go to school there, or maybe travel the world as many Israelis do after their compulsory IDF service, or maybe enter the Israeli tourism industry where my native English fluency will make me valuable and somewhat unique, or whatever else seems to be the best life path at the time. Regardless, I will speak two languages and have a life that I can say is worth living.
Some of you may remember me posting in August that I was officially beginning my life, by starting college. It turns out that that will not give me the freedom, individuality and maturity that I need, and unfortunately that life course will thusly not work. As an airman, I will now leave my family in San Diego and become my own man–‘property’ of a government I don’t always agree with, yes, but free from my parents’ insatiable dreams; and I expect I will mature beyond my years and learn a sense of independence and self-worth that will forever serve me. That’s what makes life in the armed forces so attractive to me: I’ve met people who went to school after serving in the armed forces (including my father and some of my classmates in Arizona), and I also met service-men and -women in Israel, and all of these people were mature and had a powerful sense of self, not to mention their own lives. Not an easy life, but a rewarding one, and, it would seem, exactly what I need.
I will come back later and share the experiences I had in Israel. Those interested may also IM or email me.