I have made so many stupid fucking choices that I do not believe I will ever be able to dig myself out of the enormous gaping hole my life has become because of them.
I dated the wrong people; married the wrong person (he’s okay, I don’t hate him or anything, I’m sure we could be okay friends if we weren’t married, he’s just wrong for ME); took the wrong courses in college; didn’t get therapy when I should have; chose the wrong therapists when I did; rehabilitated the wrong way (I think); put the wrong things on the back burner; was born with the wrong body (well, didn’t really get to choose that, but still); chose the wrong profession; have all of the wrong interests (apparently, since no other people anywhere around me share them); passed up the right opportunities; have lived the past 5 years in a constant state of wondering what the fuck to do about it all and now…
Now…
now…?
What do I do now? Bitch. Bitch bitch bitch.
That’s really all I can do at this point, at least at this moment. Bitch in the pit.
My post count is low, but I’m by no means new. I’ve been reading here for a long time. This is just my first big BITCH.
Am I feeling sorry for myself? Perhaps… but isn’t that really just another bad choice?
The only bad choice I made was coming in here to read this post! Just teasing actually my bad choice was when I decided to take my mothers new grand am out for some fun and I wrecked it driving like a dumb shit. Haven’t had a ticket or an accident since then and that was about 2+ years ago. Oh yeah the other bad choice I had was when I decided to go out with the abominable snow bitch from hell in high school.
I’ve made so many bad choices it’s hard to pick one…it would probably be related to one of the many vehicles I totalled…yeah, if we are going for a single choice that had bad repercussions, I’d say choosing to pay more attention to bainging my head to Megadeth than to my driving when I totalled my Dad’s 1989 Mazda 323.
Or maybe refusing to join the Navy when they were offering to put me through college, train me as a nuclear engineer, and give me a $40,000 reenlistment bonus.
If we are talking about more general, repeated bad choices, my choosing to not give a damn about my grades in high school would probably be one of the big ones - I was way too smart to take a bunch of easy classes and graduate with a B- grade average, if I could do it over I would probably get full scholarships to a good college, instead of living well below the poverty line for my first 6 years out of high school. I’m doing pretty good now, but I wonder what might have been.
PinkBikini, I have a lot of respect for you, because you are one of the very few people in the Universe who can recognize that many of the things that suck about your life are the results of your own decisions. Many things that suck, though, are completely beyond your control, and you can’t blame yourself for those. My advice would be to, uhhhhh, start making better decisions!
I’ve made more bad choices than I could ever relate in one post, but when I look back at my life, most of them had some saving grace, if only that they taught me something. If I had it all to do over again, I’m not sure I’d do anything differently. Of course, if I did, I’m sure I’d just make different mistakes rather than making fewer of them.
The only mistakes I kick myself over are the ones I’ve made fairly recently. In time, I’m hoping I’ll see the value of those too.
The only way I’m gettting through is by constantly backing myself up.
“Yeah it was a bad idea but I made that decision because thats what I felt like doing at the time.” or “because it seemed the right thing today” or “just cos”
Hindsight sucks and you can slowly become bogged down in thinking how you might retrofix your life.
I married the wrong person ,
I didnt marry the right person,
I got divorced the wrong way,
I set up a company with the wrong people,
I moved to the wrong country,
I studied something I could never get work in,
I choose a career that doesnt interest me,
I choose to commit those crimes
The list goes on. it feels like I might be hell bent on making life difficult for myself (and I’m doing a slap up job of that).
But the one common thread in that list is the word “I”.
I made thoose choices. Cant blame anyone else.
Cant second quess what was going through my head at the time.
They say you gotta play with the hand you are dealt…well around here you’re the dealer.
Call it experience … say “it’s all material for my book”…but look foward not back.
Apparently I misread the forms, thinking the $1000 plan meant that I’d have to pay $1000 on my own in hospital bills before it kicked in, while the rest of my insurance acted normally. No no no. See, I have to pay $1000 out of my pocket for EVERYTHING before insurance kicks in. Doctors bills, prescription medicine, I pay for everything on my own until it totals $1000. Then and only then does insurance kicks in. Can I go back a month and pick the $250 plan please?
New Guy (after lurking for nearly a year, and being a Cecil Fan since 1987)
<please do not harass the plebes>
Combination of two bad decisions
Not going to college (I was already smarter than them)
Getting a job where everyone else HAS a degree
Been looking for a different job for 18 months, keep hearing sorry… we require a college degree. 20+ years experience in the field mean absolutely nothing.
Other bad decisions, bad marriage, crashed cars, too much self-administered medication…were only regretted for about a week before they magically transformed into "learning experiences. (which also don’t count when a degree is what is required)
I think I have probably made more in the year or two previous to this one than any other time. But at least I realized it and haven’t done it again. I guess that means I have learned from my mistakes.
Once upon a time I had a good career in a large corporation. The Senior V.P. decides that he is going to create a V.P. position for my area of the company. He narrows his search to two finalists and asks that as part of an extensive interview process, that I should interview these two candidates, one of which will become my new boss.
**Mistake #1:**I comply
…so anyway, I interview both of these people and guess what?..I’m really impressed with one of them, and very unimpressed with the other.
Mistake #2…so…I write a detailed analysis of both candidates, strongly supporting one of them, strongly discouraging the hire of the other…
…you guessed it…the Senior V.P. hires the one I don’t like…and further…about a month after the new V.P. gets settled in, he calls me into his office and tells me that the Senior V.P. told him about my opinion!!! He acts like it’s no big deal, but he just wants to know why I might have reacted that way to him…just so that he can internalize the feedback for his continued improvement mind ya…(yeah right)
Mistake #3 I tell him what he wants to know…he thanks me.
A couple of months later, this guy promotes me…waits one year, then eliminates my position and I’m gone from the company that I loved and worked for for 15 years.
Sheesh, what a dumbass I was!!! I was always a straight-shooter…look what it got me. …ahhh, but I’ve learned…
