Because the servers don’t decide for us what we want. Your supposed examples of this, such as automatic refills of your drinks or having free bread or chips brought to your table, are all matters of restaurant policy, not something that the servers decide on their own to do. Give me one example where you went to a restaurant and the server decided what you were going to eat without allowing you to order from the menu, and you might have a point.
NO, if that were so, WHY MOST servers DO NOT get refills without asking or being asked? I am not so different, am I? It would happen all the time if servers thought everyone wants refills without asking or being asked, but it RARELY happens at restaurants.
You don’t get that it’s not supposed to be the way you think it’s supposed to go. Dining out is the CUSTOMER gets a MENU and the CUSTOMER gets to make decisions on what they want to drink or eat, NOT the WAIT STAFF! If the wait staff was supposed to make decisions, we would not be receiving menus, now would we?
A “NORMAL” customer gets to place their own order for THEMSELF, NOT the server doing the ordering. Did the server get a menu or the customer?
See now, Springs1, this is what I mean by you pushing it too far over the top; you’ve done this a few times, and yes, there are still people responding to you as if you were a serious but misguided person, but when you sandwich the “you should expect to ask for what you want” statement directly between the two “the server should ASK ME” statements (and it’s not the first time you’ve done that) I’m left with the impression that you feel you’ve already pushed the joke as far as it can go realistically and now you’re just deliberately making contradictory statements in an effort to drive the poor people who are taking you seriously into a state of near insanity. Probably pretty amusing for you, but you’re losing the subtle things that made this somewhat interesting. What’s the next step? Gradually change the tone of your posts to completely and totally contradict your earlier posts? Is this like the Bugs Bunny cartoon where Bugs and Daffy Duck try to confuse Elmer Fudd by arguing “Duck Season!” “No, it’s Wabbit Season!” over and over until Bugs switches it up and gets Daffy to insist, once and for all, that it’s Duck season and gets shot?
and
Wow–she is for real! This is her blog–funny as hell.
She actually ‘believes this stuff’.
But she isn’t obsessed about this at all. Just a hobby I suppose.
I can’t imagine caring enough about this on issue to blog about it though.
Is it just me or does anyone else imagine her as one of those crazed folks you see on street corners spouting out ‘their’ issues and ranting and raving as you walk by? You know the kind with the big billboard signs front and back proclaiming all their truths.
I vote for Springs as the most…er…uh…interesting new poster!
Holy shit.
OK, nevermind my previous assessment that Springs1 couldn’t possibly be for real; she’s actually…words fail me. Self-contradicting, is perhaps the kindest way to put it. Insisting that servers shouldn’t base their approach to a table on what MOST people want because EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT, yet in her “essay” on service in the first link, she states many, many times that a server should do something like bring out extra napkins because “most people” will need them. Me, I might wonder if the server thinks I’m a slob! Why bring me extra napkins unless I ASK FOR THEM! I HAVE A MENU FOR A REASON! YOU SHOULD ASK ME! I SHOULD EXPECT TO ASK! I HAVE WORMS IN MY BRAIN! ARGHH!!!
thud
Yeah, kind of like Ed Gein collecting body parts.
Some time earlier in this thread (no, I’m not going to wade through and find it) I suggested that Springs1 should print out a list of her rules for proper service and give it to the hostess whenever she eats out so that she will never be offended by not being treated fairly. The first link in Hakuna Matata’s post would serve admirably for that purpose.
I’m not even going to bother responding to her last post, because all she’s doing is repeating the same drivel she’s posted before about servers ordering for the customers, which is patent nonsense. “Ordering for the customer” would be if the server chose the appetizer, salad/soup, or entree instead of allowing the customer to select them from the menu.
And I wish she’d make up her mind whether or not she gets free refills at restaurants with asking for them. She continually cited this as one way that a server orders for the customer, but now she’s saying that servers giving automatic refills is rarely done.
She has to make up her mind about whether we should EXPECT to have to ASK for THINGS or if the SERVER should ASK if the CUSTOMER WANTS SOMETHING first. It’s only FAIR!
Your birthday parties must really suck.
“WHAT? You GAVE me an MP3 player and were RUDE and not CONSIDERATE because you didn’t ASK ME first because I’M the birthday girl and YOU’RE just the person giving the gift. I’m spending 3% LESS on YOUR present next year!!!”
It’s not required they cannot ask a QUESTION about if the customer wants something or not BEFORE they put it on the table. With refills, the server is not going to get fired for asking if a refills is wanted or not. I know, because there are many servers out there we know at restaurants we frequent that STILL WORK THERE for YEARS.
As far as the example goes, on the menu, they list the drinks whether you go to Chili’s, Outback, Applebee’s, etc. ON THE MENU, they list the drinks.
The server is deciding what I want to eat when they bring you bread or chips n’ salsa if it’s not on the menu like Red Lobster has with their biscuits.
The server is deciding for you what you want to drink, because the drinks are listed ON THE MENU!
I can pick from coke, dr. pepper, sprite, rootbeer, tea, etc.
It’s on the MENU, so YES I DO HAVE A POINT.
The server is deciding on their own to do this, because they could have came to the table and ASKED FIRST. They are deciding what to do, because if it was required, I would always have this service at all the chain restaurants. Just a couple of weeks ago, we ate at Chili’s with a server we never had before. Our waitress didn’t EVER ONCE get us refills without asking first. I’ve seen her there before quite a number of visits, just never had her before. MANY of times we go to restaurants, especially chains, which MOST of the time, the servers DO NOT give us refills without asking or being asked, which I don’t tell them not to, they just don’t. At Applebee’s for example we went to about month or so ago, the waitress didn’t bring us refills and didn’t ask us, NOT ONCE did she do such a thing. We have also been to a Chili’s in another state and other cities, which the majority of the servers do NOT give refills without asking.
It’s not like it happens all the time. Does it happen often with you out of curiosity? It rarely happens to us.
I have a point, because we get a menu with the list of soft drinks. When the certain times when we have had servers that didn’t ask or let us ask before bringing us refills, that’s deciding which drink we want next or if we want another drink on that MENU. Don’t you see that or what?
Ordering for the customer is deciding which drink out of the LIST of drinks **FROM THE MENU **the customer wants next or if even the customer wants another drink off that list even. IT SURE IS, you cannot argue with a FACT!
She was probably warned by the other servers about what a picky customer you are and how you go all batshit if someone refills your drink without asking first.
You probably have a well-deserved reputation as a pain in the ass at every restaurant you go to, and the servers probably fight each other to NOT have to serve you. I know I would. Unless you’re tipping 50% or more, it’s just not worth the hassle.
How come servers are FRIENDLY towards us? How come restaurants we don’t frequent RARLEY give refills without asking or being asked?
Do you have a lot of servers give you refills without asking or being asked? Be HONEST now. Do you go out to eat often enough for your answer to be justified. We go out to eat 2-3 times a weekend, so our answers are justified. If you go out to eat every 6 months once, your answer isn’t justified, because there’s not enough evidence to support or negate your position.
It is their job to be friendly to you. You remind me of the old guys who go to Hooters and think the waitress if flirting with them. That is their job. Even if you are a pain in the tush, they still need to be nice to you. Doesn’t mean they enjoy serving you. Sorry to burst your bubble.
I can’t speak for Cuckoorex but I eat out quite often and I would say I get free refills 90% of the time. Just yesterday I went to lunch with my wife, daughter and her best friend into a local chain restuarant here that makes their own beer, root beer and ginger ale (all excellent by the way). The server gave my daughters friend a new refill without asking her, and even put marischimo cherries in my daughters ginger ale. They of course did what any normal person would have done and threw it in the waitresses face! Wait–no they didn’t, they thanked her and we continued on our conversation.
In fact I used the example to ridicule your position. I commented on the fact that I read this message board and this lady gets all upset by this issue, and they both were baffled as to why anyone would care. We discussed the issue for a minute or two and had a good laugh at your expense, then went on to discuss the important details of 13 year old girls of which there are many. But I am proud that my daughter can focus on what is important when you go out to eat and it was nice when they thanked the waitress for the refills which is what true proper manners are.
Last night I went to my favorite little pub and the new bartender brought over two glasses of water as soon as we sat down. He told me he didn’t have the beer I normally like to drink and recommended one for me which I took and it was indeed very good.
I have yet to see another poster on here claim the things you say are standard. I can honestly say that it is a rare restaurant that I have been in that they don’t bring water right away, fill it up right away and/or give you a free refill on a soda right away, your experiences may counter that, but only one of us is truly based in reality on this issue.
As Hakuna Matata already stated, it’s integral to their job to be nice to you, just like it’s integral to a stripper’s job to make the customer believe that he’s gonna get laid if he buys enough champagne room dances. Secretly, you’re most likely despised. As a regular at an Outback, and also good friends with some of the servers and bartenders there, I get to hear all the stories “after hours” about ridiculously difficult customers and how much they’re despised. But I observe these servers and bartenders all the time, and they’re always friendly and full of smiles, even when I find out later that the table that they were all friendly with did nothing but complain about petty shit and ended up leaving a crappy tip.
The restaurants you don’t frequent that rarely give you refills without asking or being asked (again, please decide which is the right way to go about it, you COMPLETELY CONTRADICT YOURSELF on this point over and over again) might have crappy servers, or they might just sense that you’re a high maintenance customer.
Is my opinion justified? I go out to eat nearly 5 times a week, sometimes more. I’m there on weekdays, weekends, during the early rush, near closing time, you name it. Plus, I live on planet Earth and in reality, which is more than I can say for at least one person in this thread. To answer your question; most of the time I’m enjoying a beer or a glass of wine, but when I do have a soda, yes, I get refills without having to ask for them. If I don’t want to drink it, I don’t have to. If I want something else, I simply alert the server when I know I want something else for the next drink. Not too difficult. When it comes to happy hour two-for-one beer or drink specials, the bartenders know I like to switch up my selections enough that it makes sense for the bartender to ask if I want the same thing or something else.
You didn’t answer the question, is it OFTEN, even at restaurants that they don’t know you from adam that you have never been to before or rarely go to?
Do you EVER get asked if you want a refill? Do you go to new restaurants and they come by to ask you?
We went out last night to a restaurant we don’t frequent, but is a local chain. The waitress asked EVERY SINGLE TIME if we wanted more tea. She didn’t ONCE give us more without asking us.
I would say at most restaurants we go to even if they don’t know us from adam, they ask if we want refills or let us do the asking.
Wouldn’t it had been NICER if they wouldn’t have wasted your time if you don’t want the drink they brought you? Wouldn’t it have been nicer you could have had your drink faster of what you did really want? Maybe you don’t mind waiting, but I don’t know anyone that would rather wait if they didn’t have to for ANYTHING.
With non-free refillable drinks, they normally do always ask. So this example is stupid regardless of if they know you or not. What about bars or restaurants where they don’t know you? They’d still ask you anyways, because it’s alcohol. That’s my point, that mentioning alcohol means NOTHING to this argument.
Springs, you seem to have missed this the first time around, so…
Depends on the context. If my meal hasn’t arrived yet and my glass is obviously completely empty, I’m usually getting my drink refilled without having to ask. If my meal is done and my drink is 1/4 full and the server is bringing my check, she’ll almost always ask if I want some more.
Maybe it’s that company’s policy to ask every time, because they want to control food and beverage costs. You know, it used to be expected that a server would bring a glass of water to the table for each guest when she first went to the table. There’s actually a restaurant a block away from me that still does this. I have never, ever, ever heard of anyone ever complaining about this. Mostly I overhear comments about how nice it is that some places still have the courtesy to supply water right away. Someone complaining about “how RUDE it is to bring something FREE that I DIDN’T ASK FOR! MY MENU! FAIR!” would probably be looked at as a socially-retarded misanthrope with far too much time on her hands.
Where do you get this “wasted time” bullshit? I’m a proactive person, and if I know I’m going to want something different than my original drink order, I’ll tell the server at the first opportunity; if that happens to be when she is bringing a refill to my table, so what? It took her less than 10 seconds to fill up the drink (I used to work in restaurants, I know how long these things take) and if you are all up in arms over ten seconds, you’re a totally insufferable problem customer and need to get a damn life. IMO.
Wait, you have a point? Where? You’re the one who asked me if I get refills, I said I normally drink things that don’t have free refills, but that when I do, I get refills. It’s not my problem that you live on the planet Gazoomba where apparently you think everyone shares your opinion. You might have noticed that at least in this thread, you’ve become like a sideshow freak because your opinions are so far out of line with the rest of the posters here. Maybe, just maybe, it’s YOU that has no freakin’ clue.
Yep, never mind, she’s completely silly, but “presumsious” was kinda funny.
Give it up, buddy. Springs1 answers what she feels like answering and ignores the rest. 